Kanjani8 - After the Party - Ryo/Subaru
Title: After the Party
Fandom: Kanjani8
Rating: R
Pairing: Ryo/Subaru
Disclaimer: This is a fictional situation.
Notes: Written for pashoshi's birthday. :D
More... notes: It has been literally FOREVER since I updated this journal! I feel like I'm a little rusty with the whole writing thing, so I hope this is a step in the right direction, haha~ :D
It starts after Subaru's birthday party, when everyone is being a little less inhibited than usual and Ryo stupidly agrees at the beginning of the night to get Subaru home later. That was his first mistake because the last train leaves before both of them realize it and... it was Subaru's birthday so of course Ryo hadn't gone easy on the alcohol. So it starts, officially, after Subaru's birthday with Subaru and Ryo outside of a quiet train station, tipsy, and wondering how they're supposed to go about getting home.
"We could take a cab?" Ryo says.
"Or we could stay in a hotel..." Subaru suggests, with a weird sort of far-off look in his eye that Ryo decides not to try and decipher.
He's still kind of doing it out of the corner of Ryo's eye when Ryo holds his hand out, trying to hail a cab and the guy just keeps driving. He lets out an annoyed sigh and Subaru laughs a little.
It's really not so bothersome. The sigh was mostly for show, and he's sure Subaru knows it by the way he pokes Ryo in the side, smiling, and pointing out the next cab that passes them by.
Subaru seems smug and satisfied with himself, which isn't out of the ordinary in itself. Ryo doesn't let him see his smirk when he turns around and tries for one last cab. He's pleased when the driver pulls over for them.
"Need help getting in, old man?" he chuckles, and Subaru gives him another kind of... look when he gets in ahead of Ryo. Which Ryo also promptly ignores.
He's a little too buzzed to be trying to figure out what's on Subaru's mind. Which, on a normal day, alternates between being blatantly obvious and blatantly not. It depends on the atmosphere. Ryo has always gotten along well with him because he knows exactly when Subaru wants to be left alone. Tonight is different because it's usually not just the two of them. And Ryo has an easier time with Subaru when they're together with everyone else. There is a reason they've been teased about being shy about doing things together...
But now Subaru's not really looking at him at all, instead focused on the area between the front seats of the cab. Ryo leans forward, giving the driver directions (and thankful he remembered the way to Subaru's apartment) and once they're there he thinks he should probably get Subaru to the door and then be on his way. Except that Subaru really doesn't look like he wants Ryo to leave.
Maybe it should have been obvious that Subaru was going to do this once they got inside. It's a little more forward than Ryo might have imagined it. Subaru has him pressed up against the entrance wall, lips dangerously close to Ryo's, and looking at him, intensely, as if he's daring Ryo to do it.
"Hey," Ryo says, the word breaking a steady silence. There are good reasons why this shouldn't happen, but it's hard to ignore the way his body is responding just to something as simple as the close proximity.
Subaru just keeps looking, daring, and Ryo thinks about a million things like "we're bandmates" or "we're friends" or "what about Yasu..." the last of which actually comes out of Ryo's mouth in the form of mumbling Yasu's name. And that goes over just about as well as the "hey".
That's when Subaru kisses him, hard, body pressed tight against him, desperately, and it makes Ryo feel a little desperate too. It feels like it lasts forever, and then he's coming up like he's gasping for air, but he doesn't want to stop. His hands move down Subaru's back and he's hyper aware of Suabaru's hands on him, clutching his arms tightly as if he's afraid to let go.
It stops and Subaru pulls away. And this time it looks like he's asking Ryo for permission. Ryo would blame the alcohol on all of this except that he's sobered up considerably since just stepping in to Subaru's apartment.
He noticed that Yasu left the party a little early, but he didn't think too much of it at the time. It's just typical Yasu. Always too busy with too many things. And when he tries to remember the party (what little he can since it was mostly spent in a smoky bar with the sounds of a live band filling the room), he thinks that maybe there was a short conversation between Subaru and Yasu in the moments before Yasu left.
Subaru guides the two of them into the bedroom, and Ryo figures that even knowing this is a bad idea, he also knows Subaru can think for himself. If this is what he wants... well, Ryo can't deny that maybe he wants it too. He doesn't know the exact details of Subaru's relationship with Yasu, but he knows Subaru wouldn't do anything detrimental to the three of them. He doesn't always have the best judgment in the world but he's not that kind of guy...
Ryo straddles Subaru's waist after he lies back on the bed. Subaru pulls his hair out from the band that's been holding it up and it gets a little lost among the dark bedsheets. He doesn't waste any time pulling Ryo down onto him and Ryo doesn't mind him being a little rough like this. He's even a little rough in return, grinding his hips down and biting down on Subaru's lip when he kisses him. Subaru moans in response so he figures he must be doing something right.
He wants to ask what this is about, but maybe he also doesn't need to know. Maybe it'll just be worse if he complicates things. Maybe Subaru will stop, and he really doesn't want him to do that. Subaru's always been good at intensity, and he's getting Ryo all wrapped up in the moment too. Ryo breaks the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt over his head, tugging at Subaru's shirt like he wants him to do the same, but Subaru unbuckles his belt instead, clearly in a hurry.
"Hey," Ryo says, for the second time but now between panting breaths. "Just..."
He's not sure what he wants to say or how he needs to say it. Subaru just looks up at him incredulously and says, "What?"
"Is this okay?" Ryo asks. Trying to encompass everything he could possibly mean about the situation and hoping that's enough because he really doesn't want to get into some kind of talk about their innermost feelings.
"I'm not with him if that's what you think..." Subaru says. This time he looks to the side, especially focused on a single spot on the wall.
Ryo has enough time to get his breathing under control while he tries to formulate a response. But the atmosphere's already too charged for that. He probably should have just let it be judging by the expression that flashes across Subaru's face. So maybe Subaru just doesn't want to think about this tonight and the best thing Ryo can give him for his birthday is the distraction he's looking for. He doesn't press the question any further, but just slides Subaru's jeans down over his hips instead.
Subaru arches his back, his body rolling into Ryo's touch because now Ryo isn't wasting any time. That's probably not what either of them need right now. Now it's just the physical. There's probably something there. Something that's been there for years. A deep and mutual feeling that Ryo isn't going to try to give words to because that's not what this is about.
He let's Subaru undo his belt too and there isn't any going back after Subaru reaches inside and grips him firmly. Ryo does the same in response and it all becomes a little dizzying after that. A little too much for him to register. Subaru throws his head back against the pillow and Ryo can't take his eyes off of him, breathing hard with his mouth open and moaning when Ryo tightens his grip. Subaru speeds up his rhythm too and now Ryo can't hold on much longer. He grips the sheets with one hand, closes his eyes and lets go.
Ryo rolls over next to Subaru on the bed, wondering if someone is supposed to say something now. If something is supposed to happen.
"You should stay here..." Subaru says, tiredly.
And this is normally where Ryo would snort something about how Subaru invited him in and what else does he expect him to do! But instead he just lies next to Subaru, their fingers almost touching across the expanse of the bed, and they both gradually fall asleep that way.
---
After Subaru's birthday, they can't stop. In the week following, Ryo goes home with Subaru three more times, and once (it's Subaru's fault) they get each other off in the dressing room at work. There is something intangibly exciting about it. And Ryo doesn't remember ever feeling this way. He got into Johnnys when he was young, and while he remembers his not-in-the-business friends going on about their new girlfriends when they were teenagers, Ryo never had anything to add.
Subaru's not exactly a girlfriend. But Ryo can still see the way the other boys faces would light up, talking about one risky thing they'd done after another. Discovering excitement with someone else. It's not like Ryo's never had sex before, but it's never been quite like this. Something he thinks about all day (that newly familiar image of Subaru spread out underneath him on the bed). And even when he tries not to think about it, he's aided by helpful text messages from Subaru (which he has to hide quickly before any of the other guys see...).
Then a night comes along that reminds Ryo a little too much of the first time. Subaru's got that far-off look and he's acting like he has other things on his mind.
Maybe Subaru's always done this, but Ryo didn't notice because they hadn't always spent this much time together. It bothers him. It's only been a week, but maybe they couldn't keep on without at least saying something about what was going on. Ryo's been too comfortable in the ambiguity of their new... relationship, or whatever it is.
But Subaru isn't going to say anything and neither is Ryo, and that night they just fall asleep quietly on opposite ends of Subaru's bed.
---
What's bothering Ryo is that the night this started it was all because he mentioned Yasu's name. He can't get this out of his mind. He makes an excuse the next day at work. He can't come over to Subaru's because he's getting together with his family. That excuse works for two nights.
The next excuse is that he's busy with work. His other work, which includes being there for a script reading on the set of his new drama. It's not a lie, but it doesn't last as late as he says. And Ohkura is the one who lets slip that Ryo was finished earlier than he says. Maybe it was Ryo's fault for texting Ohkura about that basketball game...
He finds Subaru in the hallway outside of one of the studios.
"Look," Ryo says. "I'm really not good at this."
"I thought you were pretty good at..."
"I don't mean that-" Ryo says, getting a little flustered. In spite of the confusing nature of things and in spite of everything else it's hard to forget why he and Subaru are friends in the first place. And why they've been friends for so many years. Just because something changed doesn't mean... well, Ryo doesn't really know what it means. And that's the problem.
"Should we... talk about this...?" Ryo asks. Subaru just looks at him like he wants to do anything but. And it looks like he's trying to speak with his body language, getting closer to Ryo until he remembers, clearly, that first night in Subaru's apartment, when Subaru pressed him against the wall.
Subaru just simply says "no". And it starts all over again.
---
So it starts the night after Subaru's birthday party, and six months later the guys still haven't gotten over how much fun it is to tease them about it. Yoko comes dangerously close to saying something at an MC and then nearly falls over laughing from Ryo's reaction (they all tell him later that he turned the same shade of yellow as his ranger costume).
But he can get over that. Even the fact that Hina's acting like Subaru's demented father (cheerfully telling him that if he hurts Subaru, Hina might kill him). Even Maru's probably well-meaning lectures ("You really shouldn't make fun! They're at an important stage of the relationship...") Even Ohkura starts taking jibes at them when he's feeling brave enough (which is only funny because of how easy it is to turn it around on him).
Ryo's gotten used to all of it over the years. And he knows they're just making fun because they're relieved now that Subaru's acting exactly like himself again. Scribbling lyrics in old notebooks and telling jokes that are met quickly with a smack to the back of the head.
He likes it when he can read Subaru. He wonders if Subaru can read him. Then realizes that it's exactly why this is probably going to work.
---
Omake:
"I don't want to... get into this," Ryo says. "But. Um. Can I ask you something?"
Yasu looks like he's trying not to appear so amused. Which annoys Ryo a little, but he lets it be. "Sure," Yasu says. "What is it?"
"You and... Subaru," Ryo starts, carefully. Hoping that he won't have to say anything else and Yasu will just know exactly what he means and what he needs to hear. He's never been good at these types of conversations. Although he has a weird feeling that maybe Yasu is.
"Yeah?" Yasu asks, to Ryo's dismay.
"Are you... Were you..." Ryo struggles. "At the birthday party..."
Thankfully, Yasu looks about ready to stop torturing him.
"At his birthday party?" Yasu asks.
"Uh huh."
"I told him he better tell you because no one was going to do it for him," Yasu says. "Did he?"
Ryo breathes a long sigh of relief. "No," he laughs.
"He might eventually?"
"Maybe," Ryo says.
Yasu smiles. A little too much like he knows something, but Ryo does his best to ignore it. "As long as he gets close enough."
Fandom: Kanjani8
Rating: R
Pairing: Ryo/Subaru
Disclaimer: This is a fictional situation.
Notes: Written for pashoshi's birthday. :D
More... notes: It has been literally FOREVER since I updated this journal! I feel like I'm a little rusty with the whole writing thing, so I hope this is a step in the right direction, haha~ :D
It starts after Subaru's birthday party, when everyone is being a little less inhibited than usual and Ryo stupidly agrees at the beginning of the night to get Subaru home later. That was his first mistake because the last train leaves before both of them realize it and... it was Subaru's birthday so of course Ryo hadn't gone easy on the alcohol. So it starts, officially, after Subaru's birthday with Subaru and Ryo outside of a quiet train station, tipsy, and wondering how they're supposed to go about getting home.
"We could take a cab?" Ryo says.
"Or we could stay in a hotel..." Subaru suggests, with a weird sort of far-off look in his eye that Ryo decides not to try and decipher.
He's still kind of doing it out of the corner of Ryo's eye when Ryo holds his hand out, trying to hail a cab and the guy just keeps driving. He lets out an annoyed sigh and Subaru laughs a little.
It's really not so bothersome. The sigh was mostly for show, and he's sure Subaru knows it by the way he pokes Ryo in the side, smiling, and pointing out the next cab that passes them by.
Subaru seems smug and satisfied with himself, which isn't out of the ordinary in itself. Ryo doesn't let him see his smirk when he turns around and tries for one last cab. He's pleased when the driver pulls over for them.
"Need help getting in, old man?" he chuckles, and Subaru gives him another kind of... look when he gets in ahead of Ryo. Which Ryo also promptly ignores.
He's a little too buzzed to be trying to figure out what's on Subaru's mind. Which, on a normal day, alternates between being blatantly obvious and blatantly not. It depends on the atmosphere. Ryo has always gotten along well with him because he knows exactly when Subaru wants to be left alone. Tonight is different because it's usually not just the two of them. And Ryo has an easier time with Subaru when they're together with everyone else. There is a reason they've been teased about being shy about doing things together...
But now Subaru's not really looking at him at all, instead focused on the area between the front seats of the cab. Ryo leans forward, giving the driver directions (and thankful he remembered the way to Subaru's apartment) and once they're there he thinks he should probably get Subaru to the door and then be on his way. Except that Subaru really doesn't look like he wants Ryo to leave.
Maybe it should have been obvious that Subaru was going to do this once they got inside. It's a little more forward than Ryo might have imagined it. Subaru has him pressed up against the entrance wall, lips dangerously close to Ryo's, and looking at him, intensely, as if he's daring Ryo to do it.
"Hey," Ryo says, the word breaking a steady silence. There are good reasons why this shouldn't happen, but it's hard to ignore the way his body is responding just to something as simple as the close proximity.
Subaru just keeps looking, daring, and Ryo thinks about a million things like "we're bandmates" or "we're friends" or "what about Yasu..." the last of which actually comes out of Ryo's mouth in the form of mumbling Yasu's name. And that goes over just about as well as the "hey".
That's when Subaru kisses him, hard, body pressed tight against him, desperately, and it makes Ryo feel a little desperate too. It feels like it lasts forever, and then he's coming up like he's gasping for air, but he doesn't want to stop. His hands move down Subaru's back and he's hyper aware of Suabaru's hands on him, clutching his arms tightly as if he's afraid to let go.
It stops and Subaru pulls away. And this time it looks like he's asking Ryo for permission. Ryo would blame the alcohol on all of this except that he's sobered up considerably since just stepping in to Subaru's apartment.
He noticed that Yasu left the party a little early, but he didn't think too much of it at the time. It's just typical Yasu. Always too busy with too many things. And when he tries to remember the party (what little he can since it was mostly spent in a smoky bar with the sounds of a live band filling the room), he thinks that maybe there was a short conversation between Subaru and Yasu in the moments before Yasu left.
Subaru guides the two of them into the bedroom, and Ryo figures that even knowing this is a bad idea, he also knows Subaru can think for himself. If this is what he wants... well, Ryo can't deny that maybe he wants it too. He doesn't know the exact details of Subaru's relationship with Yasu, but he knows Subaru wouldn't do anything detrimental to the three of them. He doesn't always have the best judgment in the world but he's not that kind of guy...
Ryo straddles Subaru's waist after he lies back on the bed. Subaru pulls his hair out from the band that's been holding it up and it gets a little lost among the dark bedsheets. He doesn't waste any time pulling Ryo down onto him and Ryo doesn't mind him being a little rough like this. He's even a little rough in return, grinding his hips down and biting down on Subaru's lip when he kisses him. Subaru moans in response so he figures he must be doing something right.
He wants to ask what this is about, but maybe he also doesn't need to know. Maybe it'll just be worse if he complicates things. Maybe Subaru will stop, and he really doesn't want him to do that. Subaru's always been good at intensity, and he's getting Ryo all wrapped up in the moment too. Ryo breaks the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt over his head, tugging at Subaru's shirt like he wants him to do the same, but Subaru unbuckles his belt instead, clearly in a hurry.
"Hey," Ryo says, for the second time but now between panting breaths. "Just..."
He's not sure what he wants to say or how he needs to say it. Subaru just looks up at him incredulously and says, "What?"
"Is this okay?" Ryo asks. Trying to encompass everything he could possibly mean about the situation and hoping that's enough because he really doesn't want to get into some kind of talk about their innermost feelings.
"I'm not with him if that's what you think..." Subaru says. This time he looks to the side, especially focused on a single spot on the wall.
Ryo has enough time to get his breathing under control while he tries to formulate a response. But the atmosphere's already too charged for that. He probably should have just let it be judging by the expression that flashes across Subaru's face. So maybe Subaru just doesn't want to think about this tonight and the best thing Ryo can give him for his birthday is the distraction he's looking for. He doesn't press the question any further, but just slides Subaru's jeans down over his hips instead.
Subaru arches his back, his body rolling into Ryo's touch because now Ryo isn't wasting any time. That's probably not what either of them need right now. Now it's just the physical. There's probably something there. Something that's been there for years. A deep and mutual feeling that Ryo isn't going to try to give words to because that's not what this is about.
He let's Subaru undo his belt too and there isn't any going back after Subaru reaches inside and grips him firmly. Ryo does the same in response and it all becomes a little dizzying after that. A little too much for him to register. Subaru throws his head back against the pillow and Ryo can't take his eyes off of him, breathing hard with his mouth open and moaning when Ryo tightens his grip. Subaru speeds up his rhythm too and now Ryo can't hold on much longer. He grips the sheets with one hand, closes his eyes and lets go.
Ryo rolls over next to Subaru on the bed, wondering if someone is supposed to say something now. If something is supposed to happen.
"You should stay here..." Subaru says, tiredly.
And this is normally where Ryo would snort something about how Subaru invited him in and what else does he expect him to do! But instead he just lies next to Subaru, their fingers almost touching across the expanse of the bed, and they both gradually fall asleep that way.
---
After Subaru's birthday, they can't stop. In the week following, Ryo goes home with Subaru three more times, and once (it's Subaru's fault) they get each other off in the dressing room at work. There is something intangibly exciting about it. And Ryo doesn't remember ever feeling this way. He got into Johnnys when he was young, and while he remembers his not-in-the-business friends going on about their new girlfriends when they were teenagers, Ryo never had anything to add.
Subaru's not exactly a girlfriend. But Ryo can still see the way the other boys faces would light up, talking about one risky thing they'd done after another. Discovering excitement with someone else. It's not like Ryo's never had sex before, but it's never been quite like this. Something he thinks about all day (that newly familiar image of Subaru spread out underneath him on the bed). And even when he tries not to think about it, he's aided by helpful text messages from Subaru (which he has to hide quickly before any of the other guys see...).
Then a night comes along that reminds Ryo a little too much of the first time. Subaru's got that far-off look and he's acting like he has other things on his mind.
Maybe Subaru's always done this, but Ryo didn't notice because they hadn't always spent this much time together. It bothers him. It's only been a week, but maybe they couldn't keep on without at least saying something about what was going on. Ryo's been too comfortable in the ambiguity of their new... relationship, or whatever it is.
But Subaru isn't going to say anything and neither is Ryo, and that night they just fall asleep quietly on opposite ends of Subaru's bed.
---
What's bothering Ryo is that the night this started it was all because he mentioned Yasu's name. He can't get this out of his mind. He makes an excuse the next day at work. He can't come over to Subaru's because he's getting together with his family. That excuse works for two nights.
The next excuse is that he's busy with work. His other work, which includes being there for a script reading on the set of his new drama. It's not a lie, but it doesn't last as late as he says. And Ohkura is the one who lets slip that Ryo was finished earlier than he says. Maybe it was Ryo's fault for texting Ohkura about that basketball game...
He finds Subaru in the hallway outside of one of the studios.
"Look," Ryo says. "I'm really not good at this."
"I thought you were pretty good at..."
"I don't mean that-" Ryo says, getting a little flustered. In spite of the confusing nature of things and in spite of everything else it's hard to forget why he and Subaru are friends in the first place. And why they've been friends for so many years. Just because something changed doesn't mean... well, Ryo doesn't really know what it means. And that's the problem.
"Should we... talk about this...?" Ryo asks. Subaru just looks at him like he wants to do anything but. And it looks like he's trying to speak with his body language, getting closer to Ryo until he remembers, clearly, that first night in Subaru's apartment, when Subaru pressed him against the wall.
Subaru just simply says "no". And it starts all over again.
---
So it starts the night after Subaru's birthday party, and six months later the guys still haven't gotten over how much fun it is to tease them about it. Yoko comes dangerously close to saying something at an MC and then nearly falls over laughing from Ryo's reaction (they all tell him later that he turned the same shade of yellow as his ranger costume).
But he can get over that. Even the fact that Hina's acting like Subaru's demented father (cheerfully telling him that if he hurts Subaru, Hina might kill him). Even Maru's probably well-meaning lectures ("You really shouldn't make fun! They're at an important stage of the relationship...") Even Ohkura starts taking jibes at them when he's feeling brave enough (which is only funny because of how easy it is to turn it around on him).
Ryo's gotten used to all of it over the years. And he knows they're just making fun because they're relieved now that Subaru's acting exactly like himself again. Scribbling lyrics in old notebooks and telling jokes that are met quickly with a smack to the back of the head.
He likes it when he can read Subaru. He wonders if Subaru can read him. Then realizes that it's exactly why this is probably going to work.
---
Omake:
"I don't want to... get into this," Ryo says. "But. Um. Can I ask you something?"
Yasu looks like he's trying not to appear so amused. Which annoys Ryo a little, but he lets it be. "Sure," Yasu says. "What is it?"
"You and... Subaru," Ryo starts, carefully. Hoping that he won't have to say anything else and Yasu will just know exactly what he means and what he needs to hear. He's never been good at these types of conversations. Although he has a weird feeling that maybe Yasu is.
"Yeah?" Yasu asks, to Ryo's dismay.
"Are you... Were you..." Ryo struggles. "At the birthday party..."
Thankfully, Yasu looks about ready to stop torturing him.
"At his birthday party?" Yasu asks.
"Uh huh."
"I told him he better tell you because no one was going to do it for him," Yasu says. "Did he?"
Ryo breathes a long sigh of relief. "No," he laughs.
"He might eventually?"
"Maybe," Ryo says.
Yasu smiles. A little too much like he knows something, but Ryo does his best to ignore it. "As long as he gets close enough."