Arashi - Limits - Ohno/Nino
Title: Limits
Fandom: Arashi
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Disclaimer: This is a fictional situation.
Notes: There be angst here. Written for skycouldfall because she poked me lots. XD
Nino's back slams hard against the wall, knocking the air out of him. He gasps a couple of times, but gets his breath back quickly. It's not like he hasn't done worse or had worse done to him. It's just that this time, Ohno isn't really fucking around. It's not a joke, it's not playing, this time he's actually pissed off because Nino was a fucking idiot and probably deserves it which is why he's not going to fight back.
He thinks, sometimes, that they solve their problems like kids. Instead of talking about it like adults maybe should they fight and hit and bruise each other until it's over and there isn't anything to fight about anymore. Just aggression, raw aggression swelling and expanding until it bursts and then, like a wave, it's gone.
"Fuck you," Ohno says.
Nino doesn't say anything because he knows that he did what he had to do, but also that it would hurt him. If anyone knows about their relationship (their real relationship, who they are to each other) it's going to come back and hurt them, their jobs, their lives. So sometimes Nino has to lie and say it's all a big joke. And sometimes Ohno loses his temper over little things. Little inconsequential annoying things like not being able to find his keys or missing the last train. He throws things and kicks things and usually it's out of his system once that initial wave of anger passes through. Because more of the time he's just... Ohno. Nothing bothering him at all.
But it's times like these that Nino wonders just how much they can get away with before both of them snap. Ohno's already there and now that he's got Nino pinned against the wall he's just staring at him with intense eyes. Searching his face for questions or maybe asking for answers and Nino doesn't know what to say.
"It's my fault," Nino says.
"You're fucking right it is," Ohno says. His fingers are digging in to Nino's shoulders and Nino figures he's allowed to be this angry. This fight has been welling up in both of them for weeks.
"So what do you want?" Nino asks. The most loaded question he's ever asked and he knows it. It might just make everything worse because what is he supposed to want. What is he supposed to do. Of course he wants them to have what other people have. Maybe they could plan their lives together, move in to the same house, think about five years, ten years, not just tomorrow and the next day and all of the maybes and possiblys that come with it.
"I want to break up," Ohno says.
And just as Nino's chest falls, Ohno starts kissing him. Hard. Holding his face in his hands, then his neck, digging his fingers in, maybe leaving bruises, but Nino doesn't care because it feels good. All of this anger, he can take it. He can carry it. They've been here before and maybe they'll be here again, but every time it might be the last time.
He keeps his hands flat against the wall. In stark contrast to the usual way that he touches Ohno wherever and whenever he wants. This is different. He can't promise Ohno anything about tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but he can give himself right now. Anything Ohno wants, he can take. But that's always true. More than Nino will usually admit.
"I don't want this anymore," Ohno says against his mouth. He's pressing Nino into the wall now with his body, just holding him there. It's not about sex. It's not about love. It's not about anything but need, but Nino supposes all of those are wrapped together in a big fucking mess. Ever since this started. Ever since he started it.
"Do you wish I hadn't done it?" Nino asks while Ohno's fingers rake down his chest, he's biting Nino's neck and Nino speaks between heavy breaths. "This, you and me, do you wish it had never happened?"
"It's pointless," Ohno says. Nino remembers the first time, when he held Ohno's face between his hands and said Shh, don't say anything, and kissed him like his life depended on it. Like it was the only way to know for sure and he had to make sure he really meant it. That was four years ago. And even then he knew it was a huge mistake.
"I'm sorry," Nino says. Ohno's hands are under his shirt now, fingers on his waist, pressing against him hard and desperate and Nino feels just as desperate as him.
Maybe this time it's the goodbye that Ohno keeps saying it will be. It probably should be.
Ohno goes silent now and it doesn't feel like he's kissing him so much as he's punching him in the gut. Like that's what he'd rather be doing, but this is all just so fucking confusing that what do they do. The first fight they ever had they really did beat each other up. Maybe they've grown up a little since then but Nino can't help but feel that a good punch or knee to the stomach might make Ohno feel better than anything else. This time Nino wouldn't hit back.
"I just..." Ohno starts to say, but the words falter. He's clutching at Nino's skin, his stomach. Nino moves his hand and Ohno grabs his wrist, holding it tight.
"Hit me if you want," Nino says.
"What?"
"If it'll make you feel better hit me."
"Stop it. Seriously."
"You'll feel better."
Ohno's holding Nino's wrist with his left hand, but his right curls into a fist and Nino braces himself. When they used to fight like that it was so much simpler.
Ohno draws his fist back and it slams into the wall just to the side of Nino's head. He's looking angrier than Nino's ever seen him and he thinks maybe they've reached the limit. This is as far as either of them can go.
"I fucking love you," Ohno says.
It's exactly the third time he's ever said that. Nino's been counting.
It's not really a kiss. It's more like a battle. Nino feels guilty because he wishes this was the last time. In a way. Because if they keep going on like this they're going to end up hating each other for starting this stupid mistake and never being able to finish it.
Nino doesn't say it back because it's only going to make things worse. Ohno already knows how he feels. And just standing back passively while Ohno lets all of his anger out is more effective than any words he could say. He's always taken the responsibility.
It's always what he does when Ohno really gets angry.
And it's all because some interviewer asked Nino some stupid question about what type of girl he wanted to marry.
---
Two hours later, they're on set filming for a PV. Like nothing ever happened because the cameras are on them and they have a job to do. Nino starts tapping on Ohno's back and Ohno goes along with it and there is something too easy and simple about it. It's only after it's begun that it occurs to Nino they're not faking it.
Jun notices the marks on Nino's neck and shoulder and says a nonchalant "Rough night, huh?" and Nino is pretty sure Jun knows but also pretty sure he won't seriously ask about it.
Then the cameras move on to Sho and Aiba and that's when Nino finds a small pocket of space in a hallway and buries his face in Ohno's shoulder, just for a moment.
"Don't break up with me," he says.
"I can't," Ohno replies.
Fandom: Arashi
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Disclaimer: This is a fictional situation.
Notes: There be angst here. Written for skycouldfall because she poked me lots. XD
Nino's back slams hard against the wall, knocking the air out of him. He gasps a couple of times, but gets his breath back quickly. It's not like he hasn't done worse or had worse done to him. It's just that this time, Ohno isn't really fucking around. It's not a joke, it's not playing, this time he's actually pissed off because Nino was a fucking idiot and probably deserves it which is why he's not going to fight back.
He thinks, sometimes, that they solve their problems like kids. Instead of talking about it like adults maybe should they fight and hit and bruise each other until it's over and there isn't anything to fight about anymore. Just aggression, raw aggression swelling and expanding until it bursts and then, like a wave, it's gone.
"Fuck you," Ohno says.
Nino doesn't say anything because he knows that he did what he had to do, but also that it would hurt him. If anyone knows about their relationship (their real relationship, who they are to each other) it's going to come back and hurt them, their jobs, their lives. So sometimes Nino has to lie and say it's all a big joke. And sometimes Ohno loses his temper over little things. Little inconsequential annoying things like not being able to find his keys or missing the last train. He throws things and kicks things and usually it's out of his system once that initial wave of anger passes through. Because more of the time he's just... Ohno. Nothing bothering him at all.
But it's times like these that Nino wonders just how much they can get away with before both of them snap. Ohno's already there and now that he's got Nino pinned against the wall he's just staring at him with intense eyes. Searching his face for questions or maybe asking for answers and Nino doesn't know what to say.
"It's my fault," Nino says.
"You're fucking right it is," Ohno says. His fingers are digging in to Nino's shoulders and Nino figures he's allowed to be this angry. This fight has been welling up in both of them for weeks.
"So what do you want?" Nino asks. The most loaded question he's ever asked and he knows it. It might just make everything worse because what is he supposed to want. What is he supposed to do. Of course he wants them to have what other people have. Maybe they could plan their lives together, move in to the same house, think about five years, ten years, not just tomorrow and the next day and all of the maybes and possiblys that come with it.
"I want to break up," Ohno says.
And just as Nino's chest falls, Ohno starts kissing him. Hard. Holding his face in his hands, then his neck, digging his fingers in, maybe leaving bruises, but Nino doesn't care because it feels good. All of this anger, he can take it. He can carry it. They've been here before and maybe they'll be here again, but every time it might be the last time.
He keeps his hands flat against the wall. In stark contrast to the usual way that he touches Ohno wherever and whenever he wants. This is different. He can't promise Ohno anything about tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but he can give himself right now. Anything Ohno wants, he can take. But that's always true. More than Nino will usually admit.
"I don't want this anymore," Ohno says against his mouth. He's pressing Nino into the wall now with his body, just holding him there. It's not about sex. It's not about love. It's not about anything but need, but Nino supposes all of those are wrapped together in a big fucking mess. Ever since this started. Ever since he started it.
"Do you wish I hadn't done it?" Nino asks while Ohno's fingers rake down his chest, he's biting Nino's neck and Nino speaks between heavy breaths. "This, you and me, do you wish it had never happened?"
"It's pointless," Ohno says. Nino remembers the first time, when he held Ohno's face between his hands and said Shh, don't say anything, and kissed him like his life depended on it. Like it was the only way to know for sure and he had to make sure he really meant it. That was four years ago. And even then he knew it was a huge mistake.
"I'm sorry," Nino says. Ohno's hands are under his shirt now, fingers on his waist, pressing against him hard and desperate and Nino feels just as desperate as him.
Maybe this time it's the goodbye that Ohno keeps saying it will be. It probably should be.
Ohno goes silent now and it doesn't feel like he's kissing him so much as he's punching him in the gut. Like that's what he'd rather be doing, but this is all just so fucking confusing that what do they do. The first fight they ever had they really did beat each other up. Maybe they've grown up a little since then but Nino can't help but feel that a good punch or knee to the stomach might make Ohno feel better than anything else. This time Nino wouldn't hit back.
"I just..." Ohno starts to say, but the words falter. He's clutching at Nino's skin, his stomach. Nino moves his hand and Ohno grabs his wrist, holding it tight.
"Hit me if you want," Nino says.
"What?"
"If it'll make you feel better hit me."
"Stop it. Seriously."
"You'll feel better."
Ohno's holding Nino's wrist with his left hand, but his right curls into a fist and Nino braces himself. When they used to fight like that it was so much simpler.
Ohno draws his fist back and it slams into the wall just to the side of Nino's head. He's looking angrier than Nino's ever seen him and he thinks maybe they've reached the limit. This is as far as either of them can go.
"I fucking love you," Ohno says.
It's exactly the third time he's ever said that. Nino's been counting.
It's not really a kiss. It's more like a battle. Nino feels guilty because he wishes this was the last time. In a way. Because if they keep going on like this they're going to end up hating each other for starting this stupid mistake and never being able to finish it.
Nino doesn't say it back because it's only going to make things worse. Ohno already knows how he feels. And just standing back passively while Ohno lets all of his anger out is more effective than any words he could say. He's always taken the responsibility.
It's always what he does when Ohno really gets angry.
And it's all because some interviewer asked Nino some stupid question about what type of girl he wanted to marry.
---
Two hours later, they're on set filming for a PV. Like nothing ever happened because the cameras are on them and they have a job to do. Nino starts tapping on Ohno's back and Ohno goes along with it and there is something too easy and simple about it. It's only after it's begun that it occurs to Nino they're not faking it.
Jun notices the marks on Nino's neck and shoulder and says a nonchalant "Rough night, huh?" and Nino is pretty sure Jun knows but also pretty sure he won't seriously ask about it.
Then the cameras move on to Sho and Aiba and that's when Nino finds a small pocket of space in a hallway and buries his face in Ohno's shoulder, just for a moment.
"Don't break up with me," he says.
"I can't," Ohno replies.