Personal Fucked-up-ness

[thephantomrogue]

I wake up thinking about binging, I spend my day thinking about what I just ate or what I want to eat or what I can say to justify to myself binging. I then go to bed with the guilt of the day. I either bing or starve. The longest I've gone without eating was roughly 3 months. I lived off of diet pop and sometimes a protein bar

Comments

[missionlb]

Your boyfriend sounds like an ass. I mean, you couldn't help who your mom was, you couldn't pick her, but you can pick your boyfriend. May as well pick someone good, who is not so shallow. I really hope you are twisting his words around, as sometimes lover's words get misinterpreted, but if he really means to encourage your eating disorder then that's fucked. It's one thing to just ignore it, and realize you'll stop whenever you want, but another to encourage you. I guess I kind of have the same problem as you. I think we blame other people's mistakes on ourselves. Your mom was irresponsible, and that had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. When she was leaving you and your sister alone I highly doubt she was thinking about you two at all. All she was thinking about was herself. There's no reason for you to keep reliving that, because you can get rid of this boyfriend. And, like I said, I should probably be giving this same advice to myself.

[fashionista20]

I think our childhood experiences have a lot to do with the kind of men we choose to date. But maybe ur boyfriend is not all that bad. Maybe he just doesnt know how to react. Maybe he feels that he's being supportive somehow? I don't know. Im the last person to give advice. I can just totally relate to the self-sabotage. I think about what I can do to be happy and then totally do the opposite. I hope you can get your thoughts straightened out and feel better soon. *hugs*