blaaaaaaaaaaaaaarh
I hate being socially awkward. I mean, I can barely even hold a conversation with my freaking mother- how the fuck am I supposed to function in society? I've been trying to tell her for a fucking week that I want her to call and make an appointment for the DRC (thing at college), but I can't because she's always after me to be more independent, and that she can't do everything for me. She's completely right, but every time I go to pick up the phone, I literally start sweating, and my hands start shaking. I'm terrified that I'm going to mess it up, but seriously, how can I possibly mess it up? I just need to make an appointment to see my adviser sometime before school starts ><
I'm pissed at just about everyone close to me, but I can never articulate exactly why. It shouldn't be hard to talk to people, should it? "I need your help." "I miss you." "Why the fuck don't we hang out anymore?" "Grow the fuck up." "Stop fucking complaining all the damn time, you're making the rest of us miserable." They're not exactly life-altering, but I can't say any of it to anyone.
I feel like I'm not making any headway on the damn plushies. I'm at that point where there's only a tiny bit left, but I just can't make myself finish it. Only four more days x.x I'm excited and terrified at the same time. I kept messing up on Defarge, so I put him aside and made Jell-O. Wanted hot cocoa, but I was distracted in my search for cocoa by several boxes of miscellaneous Jell-O hidden behind the spices. Black cherry Jell-O jigglers always make me feel better. Even when I was little, I'd pretend they were liver, and just gnaw and tear them apart while my mother watched in horror. Good times. I opened the door for her earlier as I was chomping into the middle bit.
Mum: o.O What are you eating?
Me: *creepy smile around bits of Jell-O* Liver.
Mum: O.o No, really.
Me: Seriously! A census-taker showed up while you were gone.
Mum: *facepalm*
^___^ The jigglers made life seem a little bit less sucky. Plus I found videos of ferrets on youtube. Going to bed, maybe tomorrow the plushies will have ceased their evil plot to steal my sanity.