Entry #19
Wednesdays are both my best and worst days of the week. My best, because finally I get the chance to put some of the skills I've learned to use. My worst, because I always walk to St Mungo's never sure of whether I'll be able to handle what waits for me within. I know for certain that I'll never get used to it. Which is a good thing as well, I suppose, because the only way I can see myself getting used to it is if I didn't care at all. And what use would I be to anyone as a Mediwitch then?
But sometimes I just wish I had more to give whenever I get home. Between my Wednesday practical training and my regular coursework and my shifts at the library I feel as though I barely have the energy to nod hello to Terence upon walking through the front door. What usually happens is that I fall asleep on the sofa only to end up in bed a few hours later after he's ferried me there.
I'm starting to hate this. I know it will be different once I get further on in my training and I can actually start to save lives, but at the moment I'm scrubbing out bedpans and giving reluctant women baths and I just feel so useless - and I chose this career not to feel useless. Plus everyday the amount of patients arriving grows and the casulties themselves get worse and I just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I know I'm not brave enough to be out there on the front line like Angelina and Oliver and Roger could someday, but now I'm not even sure if I can handle this.
* * *
If you're around, I could do with a shoulder massage. I'd get off the sofa to come and look for you, but my legs don't seem able to manage it.
* * *
I do hope that the invitations for Terence and my engagement party were received by everyone who was meant to receive them. Hogsmeade residents, you all got yours without any bother, didn't you? I've been characteristically organised and uncharacteristically girly about the whole thing and have even picked out a dress already, and Terence bought me a pair of shoes to go with it and once again, they're high. I'm worried he's developing a fetish although not that worried.
Oh, and because there has been a few complaints about the noise level, the private study area is what it suggests to be. Ie. no group assignments or groups, period.
But sometimes I just wish I had more to give whenever I get home. Between my Wednesday practical training and my regular coursework and my shifts at the library I feel as though I barely have the energy to nod hello to Terence upon walking through the front door. What usually happens is that I fall asleep on the sofa only to end up in bed a few hours later after he's ferried me there.
I'm starting to hate this. I know it will be different once I get further on in my training and I can actually start to save lives, but at the moment I'm scrubbing out bedpans and giving reluctant women baths and I just feel so useless - and I chose this career not to feel useless. Plus everyday the amount of patients arriving grows and the casulties themselves get worse and I just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I know I'm not brave enough to be out there on the front line like Angelina and Oliver and Roger could someday, but now I'm not even sure if I can handle this.
* * *
If you're around, I could do with a shoulder massage. I'd get off the sofa to come and look for you, but my legs don't seem able to manage it.
* * *
I do hope that the invitations for Terence and my engagement party were received by everyone who was meant to receive them. Hogsmeade residents, you all got yours without any bother, didn't you? I've been characteristically organised and uncharacteristically girly about the whole thing and have even picked out a dress already, and Terence bought me a pair of shoes to go with it and once again, they're high. I'm worried he's developing a fetish although not that worried.
Oh, and because there has been a few complaints about the noise level, the private study area is what it suggests to be. Ie. no group assignments or groups, period.