Fic: Draw Me a Map (Jared/Jensen)
Title: Draw Me a Map
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Summary: Jensen gets the wrong idea when he comes home to find Jared with an old friend.
Rating: PG-13
Beta: lavenderrav - thank you so much!
Words: 3800
A/N: Written for kros_21 who asked for a forgiveness fic. It turned out like this - I really hope you like it! The title is taken from a Dierks Bentley song which is really awesome.
“You won’t manage it.”
Smirking, Jensen tossed back the shot in one and banged the glass back down onto the counter, “What was that?”
Shaking his head, the guy behind the bar poured more whiskey into the glass, “How-”
“I’m from Texas, man.”
“And he’s a stubborn ass.” Chris walked up behind Jensen, clapped him on the shoulder. “Never admits when he’s had enough.”
“Says who?” He drank the next shot, licked his lips.
“Says me. Why aren’t you home with Jared?”
He shrugged, turning back to face the front of the bar. “We can spend time away from each other, you know.” He pulled his beer closer and began to tug at the corner of the label.
“Jensen.”
He nodded his thanks to the barman and got off of the stool, headed for a table in a quiet corner of the bar. “We had a fight before work today.” He took a sip of his beer, steadfastly not looking at his friend.
Chris sat down opposite him. “And you thought you’d come down here and drown your sorrows instead of talking to the guy?”
“No,” he said, scowling, “I thought I’d give us some space.” He’d finished work later than Jared, had headed straight for the bar.
“You do realise Jared’s probably at home worrying that you’re leaving him.”
Jensen shook his head, “He knows me better than that.”
“You sure?”
He bit his lip. “Yes.”
“What was the fight about?”
“You’re too inquisitive.”
“Jensen.”
“Nothing - just stupid things.”
“It’s late. So go home and see your boy.”
He glanced around the bar, seeing that it was starting to empty as people left to go home. “Okay.” He stood up and stretched, his muscles sore after a day of stunt work.
“And chew some gum.”
---
Jensen closed the front door behind him and leaned back against it for a moment. From outside, he’d seen that the lights were still on which meant that Jared was still up which meant that they were going to have to talk. He closed his eyes as he began to sway, thinking that maybe he shouldn’t have had that last beer. Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, he blinked twice before pushing himself up off the door, reaching out to touch the wall with his hand to stop himself from falling.
He scowled as he neared their front room, hearing voices; there he’d been, worrying about the argument, and Jared had invited people over. His scowl softened a little when he heard the familiar tapping of claws against the wooden floor and he pulled the door open, laughed and bent down to pet the dogs.
“Jensen?”
Tilting his head, Jensen decided that Jared didn’t sound angry, just slightly bemused. He looked up from the dogs and waved, “Hey.” Running his hands through Sadie’s fur, he let his gaze drift over to Jared’s guest and sighed, “Who’s your friend?”
“Christie, remember. I told you last week she was coming up from Texas.”
“Oh,” Jensen said, looking at her more closely, taking in the perfectly coifed hair and the short dress, “Hi.” He tried to stand up, groaned when his muscles protested and slumped back down onto the floor, resting against the wall.
“I can’t believe they kept you at work this late, Jensen. Come here.” Jared crossed over to him, held out a hand and pulled him up, easy smile turning into a frown when they got near enough to kiss. “You’ve been drinking. Are you drunk?”
He nodded, “I went out for a bit. Saw Chris.” Leaning forwards, he pressed his lips against Jared’s cheek. “I’m not drunk, though. Just a bit merry.”
Lips quirking slightly, Jared glanced over at his friend. “You promised you’d be here to meet Christie.”
“I’m here, aren’t I? Look, I’m sorry. I forgot, okay. After this morning and then work I just forgot.”
Nodding, Jared rested his hand on Jensen’s hip, “Okay. It’s okay. You’re here now, I guess.”
“I am,” he turned to face Jared’s friend, “Did you have a good journey, Chris - Christie?”
She took a sip of her wine, “It was decent.”
The words were said coolly, disapprovingly, and Jensen could feel her gaze on him as he made his way over to the settee. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it again when Jared sat down next to him and rested his hand on his thigh, his thumb moving back and forth in a soothing motion. Grinning, Jensen rested back against the cushions and drifted, only half-listening to the conversation. He shifted slightly, pressed himself in against Jared and closed his eyes when Jared brought his arm up and pulled him closer. There had been no need to worry about their argument this morning; he should have known that. They always sorted things out.
---
Stretching his arms above his head, Jensen rolled over onto Jared’s side of the bed, pulling the covers with him. The place where Jared had been sleeping was still warm, even though Jared must have left for his run a while back, and Jensen smiled, burrowed further into the pillows for a moment before sighing and climbing out of the bed. Yawning, he pulled a t-shirt over his head and padded barefoot across the room.
Standing out on the landing, he could hear Jared and Christie talking and he took a deep breath, stealing himself to make polite conversation with someone that he already knew he didn’t like before he’d even had a cup of coffee, and then headed down the stairs. Jared was leaning against the counter when Jensen walked into the kitchen and he smiled, held out a cup of coffee for him.
“Thanks, Jared.” Grinning, Jensen pressed a kiss against Jared’s jaw and then stood next to him, hip touching hip. “Morning, Christie. Sleep well?”
“Yes, thank you,” she said, looking across from the table where she was sitting, “Jared was just telling me about this episode you’re filming. It sounds very challenging.”
He shrugged, “We’ve filmed tougher stuff. Speaking of which, I have to leave in about ten minutes.”
Jared groaned, “This sucks.”
“What does?”
“You having way more scenes this episode. I’ve hardly seen you over the last few days.”
“I know. It’s not for much longer, though.” Sighing, he dropped his cup into the sink and turned back to pull Jared in for a kiss. “I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”
“Course, if you’re feeling awake enough, the three of us can go for dinner somewhere.”
Jensen nodded, “That sounds good.” He grabbed his jacket on the way out, glanced back and saw Christie standing in front of Jared, hand resting on his shoulder, and forced himself to turn away. They were friends, Jared was a tactile person. Nothing was going on.
---
His eyes closed, Jensen groaned as the car went over another bump in the road, waved his hand when Jim apologised. “It’s not your fault, man. Hey, you didn’t even have to give me a lift. So, thanks.”
“No problem, just promise you’ll rest tonight - you’ve been working too hard the past couple of days.”
He shook his head, “I can’t - Jared’s got a friend up from Texas so we’re going out for a meal somewhere.”
“Jensen-”
“It’s okay. Seriously.” He glanced at Jim as they pulled up in front of the house. “Thanks for driving me.”
“I can pick you up tomorrow, if you want.”
“No, it’s okay. Jared has the same call time tomorrow.”
“See you, then.”
Nodding, he climbed out of the car and waited for Jim to drive away before heading up the path. The muscles in his legs protested as he walked and he sighed, digging his keys out of his pocket. Truth be told, all he wanted was a long, hot bath and then bed but he wasn’t going to let Jared down again by not being there. He closed the door behind him with a quiet click and headed towards the kitchen, pushed open the door and froze.
Jared was, once again, leaning against the counter, hands resting behind him. This time, though, he was kissing someone else. Nails digging into his palms, Jensen backed out of the room, the image of Jared and Christie kissing burned into his memory. He stood in the hallway for a moment before charging back into the kitchen.
“You jerk.”
They’d moved apart now, Jared was sitting at the table but Jensen knew that he’d be able to smell her perfume all over him.
“You jerk.”
“Jensen-” Jared stood up, started to walk over to him and stopped when Jensen shook his head, “It’s not what it looked like.”
“Oh, so you’re going with the cliché, then?”
“Jensen-”
“Don’t.” He strode over to Jared, shoved him up against the counter. “Don’t you dare make excuses.”
Scowling now, Jared grabbed a hold of his wrists, “You really trust me that little, Jensen?”
“I saw you kissing. You kissed her. How could you-” He broke off and pulled away, stalked out of the room towards the stairs.
“Where are you going?”
He turned, looked back at Jared. “To pack a bag.”
“Jensen-”
“Don’t talk to me.” He took the stairs two at a time, slammed the bedroom door shut and dragged the bolt across, ignoring Jared’s pleas from the other side. Head pounding, he pulled a suitcase off the top of the wardrobe and began to toss clothes into it, not really taking notice of what he was packing. This couldn’t be happening. After everything that he and Jared had been through, after years of friendship and working together and being together, it wasn’t fair.
But he could hear Jared outside, still pounding on the door, and he could hear Christie telling him to come away, to leave it and it hurt. If there had been one thing in his life he’d thought he could count on, it was Jared.
He yanked the zipper of the case closed and lifted it off the bed, wheeled it across the room and stopped in front of the door. Jared had stopped knocking, Christie had stopped talking. It didn’t hurt any less. Biting his lip, he pulled the bolt back across and opened the door, refused to look at Jared who was sitting against the wall.
“She kissed me. I told her I wasn’t interested.”
“Yeah, right. You invited her up here, Jared. I bet you were hoping I got kept back late today so you could take her out to dinner alone.” He began to walk along the hallway, forced himself not to acknowledge the dogs as they tried to greet him and, damn, that was hard to do.
“I thought you knew me better than that. Jensen, just think about it for a minute.”
“What?” He span around. “So you can think of another excuse? No. I’m going.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know.” He reached the front door, tossed his keys down on the table.
“If you leave, don’t bother coming back.”
“What?”
Jared shrugged, “You heard me. If you can’t trust me enough just to listen to my explanation, then don’t bother coming back.”
“Fine,”
“Fine.”
He set off down the path, dragging his suitcase behind him even as he heard the door slam shut. This was it. There was no way he was ever going back.
---
The sound of someone singing woke him up and Jensen rolled over, only to remember that he was actually on a couch and not in bed as he hit the floor.
“That was smooth.”
He looked up and grimaced at Chris, “I’m too old for sleeping on couches.”
“Nope, you’ve got years of couch sleeping left in you, son.” Shaking his head, Chris held out a hand and pulled him up from the floor, “And you’re feeling?”
“Hung-over. Tired. Betrayed. Not necessarily in that order,” he glanced at the clock and groaned, “I’m also late for work.”
“I know. Go and get freshened up, I’ll make you some breakfast and drive you to work.”
“I don’t want to go to work.”
“I know.” He patted Jensen’s shoulder.
“Jared’s at work.”
“I know. That’s why I’m going to come in with you, have a word with him.”
He coughed, “Are you going to punch him?”
“No. I’m going to remind him that you can be pretty dense sometimes and tell him that he shouldn’t be giving up on you.”
“What? I’m struggling to keep up here.”
“Jensen, Jared loves you. He wouldn’t cheat on you. I’m pretty sure he was telling you the truth yesterday.”
“He kissed her.”
“Maybe she kissed him.”
“Thanks for the solidarity.”
“You’re very welcome. Now, go and get ready.”
---
Jensen sat in his usual chair in the make-up trailer, trying to listen for any commotion outside. It all seemed quiet. He frowned.
“Jensen, I can’t do your make-up if you keep screwing your face up like that.”
“Sorry. Hey, how did Jared seem this morning?”
“Quiet. Is he okay?”
He shrugged. “Better than me.”
“Okay, you’re done. Have fun today.”
“Thanks.” He stood up and paused by the door before exiting the trailer, ready for a confrontation with Jared but the only person there was Chris, a disapproving look on his face as Jensen headed towards the set.
---
“Okay, cut.” The guest director wasn’t even bothering to shout the order any more; the set was so quiet that he didn’t need to.
Jensen grabbed his bottle of water from the side and took a long swig, knowing that Jared would be doing the same at the other side of the set. They hadn’t talked at all, apart from saying their lines, and, even after the way Jared had hurt him, it still felt wrong. He could feel people’s eyes on him and he tossed the bottle back onto the ground before turning back to look at the director.
“Is that it?”
“Yeah, take ten while we get the next scene set up.”
He nodded and found a spot a little way away, sat and watched as the crew worked. His eyes drifted towards Jared, laughing and messing around with one of the sound guys and he snorted; he should have known he’d be the one to end up friendless on set. As he watched, Jared glanced over at him and shook his head before looking away again.
---
“You’re back again?”
Nodding, Jensen handed some money over to the barman even as he slid onto a stool, “Afraid so. I didn’t catch your name last time.”
“Ed. What’ll it be?”
“Whiskey, please. I’m Jensen.”
“I know.”
“Oh.” He picked up a beer mat, span it around between his fingers, and smiled when Ed passed his drink over, “Thanks.”
“Long day?”
Shrugging, Jensen answered, “Hard day.”
“Only because he’s too stubborn to admit he was wrong.” Chris slid onto the stool next to him.
Ed nodded, “We get a lot of people like that in here.”
“I’m not like that,” he said and turned to look at Chris, “I’m not like that.”
“Exactly. So why are you here and not at home?”
“I don’t have a home. Not anymore.” He took a large swig of the whiskey, coughed slightly as it went down.
“You do.”
“I don’t. Even if I wanted to, he told me he didn’t want me back.”
“He didn’t mean that. He loves you.”
“He cheated on me.”
“Jensen, I don’t get it.” Chris took the glass out of his hand. “You know him; he’s not the type to do that.”
“He did.” He reached out for the drink, shook his head when Chris refused to give it back to him.
“The other night, when you stumbled in drunk, what did he do?”
Jensen frowned, “He kissed me.”
“Exactly. He loves you. He wouldn’t cheat on you.”
“He-” Jensen broke off, looked up at Chris, “Oh, God.”
“What?”
“You’re right. I mean, this is Jared. Jared who flew half the way across the country to see me when I had a cold. Jared who used fridge magnets to ask me on a date. Chris, I’ve screwed up.”
“Go and talk to him.”
“Now?”
“Yes, now. I’ll drive you.”
“I want to walk, clear my head. Chris, what if it’s too late?”
“It won’t be. He loves you, remember?”
---
Jensen knocked once, twice, on the door and stepped back to look up at the house. The lights in the living room were on which meant that Jared was in. He took a deep breath and let it out again as the hallway light came on and forced a smile onto his face as the door swung open.
“I’m an idiot.”
“Go home, Jensen.”
He reached out and knocked the door back as Jared tried to close it. “Jared, please. Just listen to me.”
“Like you listened to me?” Jared crossed his arms, took another step back into the house.
He nodded, “I know. I know I was a dick but please, Jared, just-”
“I told you not to come back,” Jared said, shaking his head, “Why did you have to come back?”
“Because I love you.”
Jared bit his lip. “You don’t trust me.”
“I do.”
“Really? Then why did you think I’d kissed Christie?”
“I don’t - I don’t know. I was stupid, jealous. I’m sorry.”
“Seriously? That’s your answer? I mean, you come home drunk and late and everything and I just accept it but someone kisses me and, of course, I must have been cheating on you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s not enough.”
The door slammed in his face and Jensen turned away, walked down the path and forced himself not to look back.
---
“It’s too late.”
“What?”
Jensen closed the door to Chris’ apartment, crossed over to sit down on the settee, “It’s too late. He won’t have me back.”
Chris shook his head. “He will.”
“He won’t, Chris. It’s over. And it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have doubted him for one second but I did. I’m such a jerk.”
“There’s got to be something you can do.”
“I don’t think there is.” He leaned forward with his head in his hands.
“You’re just going to give up? Just like that?”
“Get off of my case, Chris.” He stood up, crossed over the kitchenette and pulled a beer out of the fridge. “You’re meant to be supportive.”
“I am. I’m trying to make you stop feeling sorry for yourself and actually get off your ass and do something.”
“I have done something. I went to see him and he slammed the door in my face.”
“Jared would keep trying.”
“What?”
“If the tables were turned, Jared would keep trying to get you back.”
Jensen agreed, “I know.”
“You’re not going to just give up, right? Because that’s not like you.”
“No.” Jensen took a sip of his beer, “No, I’m not. I’m stubborn, remember?”
---
Jensen stormed across his lot towards his trailer, ignoring the shouts that followed him as he jumped up the steps and locked himself inside. He paced up and down a few times before grabbing one of his knives from the side and tossing it at the board. As he turned to pick another one up, he caught sight of the unopened box of chocolates that he’d left in Jared’s trailer that morning and swore. He was out of ideas.
He’d tried chocolates and flowers and begging and he’d even admitted that he’d been an ass in the interview they’d done that morning but Jared still wasn’t budging and, really, enough was enough. It wasn’t like Jared had never made a mistake and, maybe, if things hadn’t have already been tense, if Jared hadn’t invited his friend to stay right in the middle of a heavy filming period, he would have never overreacted.
He grabbed the chocolates, flung the last knife at the board and yanked the trailer door back open, stormed back towards the set, where Jared was making everyone laugh. Jaw set, Jensen marched towards him and held out the chocolates.
“I left these for you.”
Jared shook his head, “I don’t want them.”
“You can damn well take them.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” He shoved the chocolates against Jared’s chest, didn’t let go until Jared had sighed and taken them. “I messed up, okay. And I’ve done everything I can to make it up to you and if you wanted an excuse to end this thing then you should have just said months ago.”
“An excuse to - You’re such an idiot. You’re the one who walked out.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I did. And I was wrong. But you’re the one who’s keeping this thing going.”
“You don’t trust me.”
“I do. I do trust you and I love you and I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else I can do. So just, I don’t know, help me. Tell me what I can do, draw me a freaking map or something. Just, don’t push me away again.” He breathed in and out, once, twice, three times, then turned away to walk back towards his trailer.
“Jensen, wait.”
He stopped at the feel of Jared’s hand on his arm - it had been days since they’d touched.
“You don’t need chocolates or a map or whatever other crazy thing you’re thinking of, okay?”
He turned to face Jared, “What?”
“You just need to come home.” Licking his lips, he leaned down and kissed Jensen, tongue sliding along his lip until Jensen opened his mouth. “Just come home, yeah?” Hands running through Jensen’s hair, he deepened the kiss and then pulled back. “Yeah?”
“Thank you. I - thank you.”
“Missed you, Jensen. So much.”
He took hold of Jared’s hand, “You too. I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry. It’s okay. We both overreacted,” he glanced over at their director, “We done here?”
“Yeah, you guys can go home.”
“Good.” He started to pull Jensen in the direction of the parking lot, stopped dead and bent over to pick up the chocolates, shrugging, “We might as well use them.”
Laughing, Jensen wrapped his arm around Jared’s waist as they headed for the car. There would be no more falling off Chris’ couch every morning, no more sorrowful conversations with Ed at the bar. He was going home.