Chapter 19: Break, 19a: Sanitarium
Only when purplish morning rays filtered through the curtains did I realized that the night had passed
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Chapter 19a: Sanitarium
We might have seen the same scenery, but Papa and I must have had different perspectives about what we saw.
The bus began its uphill ascent slowly. Straight rows of trees filled the sides of the narrow road. Green leaves flourished on the branches, and the ground was filled with the withered golden leaves. I could hear insects chirp in the quiet, peaceful forest, and the sound of the gentle summer breeze. Hokkaido has one of the harshest winters, but amazingly in summer, it is covered with the warmest yellow sunflower blooms.
I followed the address on the envelopes and found Kamenashi’s hospice.
The aged white building stood isolated at the end of a small lane in the forest. Some of the paint on its walls had peeled off due to the age of the building.
I stood at the entrance, and could clearly visualize Papa standing on the stone steps -- I believed he must be very happy every time he visited his beloved. And what was I doing here then? What did I want to discover? The person that I missed was still in Tokyo, right?
I came here with mixed feelings. Although the hospice was just right before my eyes, I was unable to take another step forward….
How did Papa feel when he dated Mama? And how he did feel when he decided to spend his lifetime with her?
If his love for Kamenashi was so strong, how did he manage to move on into a new relationship? Or like what Kamenashi said in his letter, perhaps Papa changed after he returned from US. He wasn’t the same Jin after that trip…
I have a thousand questions, but I knew that some things just don’t have a definite answer.
I wasn’t angry with Papa anymore, really. When I read Kamenashi’s letters, I’m moved by them. At the same time, I had a dull, sad feeling in me after that. I couldn’t get rid that feeling, and I couldn’t chase it out of my mind. Especially when I got reminded of Mama’s smile.
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i hope this chapter is a slight breather.
oh and I didn't post wrongly, chapter 19: break, had only 1 sentence. (i double checked).
Chapter 20: http://thescarletscar.livejournal.com/7820.html