2010.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Got a full-time job. Had my heart broken.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
For the last few years I've resolved to do things that allowed me to develop my communication skills. For the past 9 months I've had a job that's forced me to do that constantly. And not only that, but to think on my feet and under pressure. It's been a crappy job, admittedly, but one I'm grateful for, and I certainly think I communicate much more easily with people because of it.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
5. What countries did you visit?
Once again, didn't manage to leave Australia. In fact, didn't travel outside Victoria and New South Wales. Biggest trip, however recently, was to Meredith Music Festival last weekend, and to McLaren Vale in Adelaide for my cousin's wedding.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Happiness. I want to be healed. I also want my ambition back. I left it somewhere after the disaster of looking for a job in 2009. I think I'm ready to try again next year.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
November 6th. The day Luke and I broke up. December 26th. The night of the DJ Battle at Richard's. There's a story in that, but I won't tell it quite yet.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I'm quite proud of the fact that I moved from my temp job in January to my current job without going back to being on Centrelink payments. I hated that time in my life so much, I don't ever want to have to go back to that.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I guess I finally gave up on the idea that my relationship could work.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Besides minor wisdom teeth issues, nothing out of the ordinary.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My coffee machine and grinder! I feel so wanky and pretentious. Luckily the awesome coffee I wake up to every morning makes the pain go away.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My housemates, Laura and Dave, who helped me through the hard times this year, as did my new friends from work, notably Luka and Stephen.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I felt a little discarded by a friend. That stung, not for the fact that she dumped me for her boyfriend, but because when the "new relationship" phase wore off, she went back to keeping in contact with some of my other friends but not me.
14. Where did most of your money go?
The usual stuff. Maybe a few extra festival tickets. And coffee beans.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meredith. Having full-time work.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2010?
Bombay Bicycle Club - Dust on the Ground
The Besnard Lakes - Chicago Train
Boy & Bear - Mexican Mavis
Machine Translations - Telepathic Head
Lady of the Sunshine - Home Sweet Home
Salmonella Dub - Heal Me
17. Compared to this time last year, are you...
i) Happier or sadder? Sadder.
ii) Thinner or fatter? Probably about the same.
iii) Richer or poorer? Richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Doing things I haven't done before. Just being happy in general.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Feeling trapped.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Hopefully grabbing a last-minute flight to Broken Hill for a couple of days.
21. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
Working, unfortunately.
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I'm still falling out of love.
23. How many one night stands?
None.
24. What were your favourite TV programs?
Didn't discover anything new this year. Went through quite a few decades of Doctor Who. Briefly watched a bit of Glee before the whiny adolescent drama made me want to claw my eyes out.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate last year?
I feel rather bitter towards a few people that I'd previously liked. But I rarely hate.
26. What was the best book you read?
Currently reading Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, which is incredibly powerful, and somewhat brutal. Finally read 1984 by George Orwell. Also reading the Hitchhiker's Guide "trilogy" by Douglas Adams.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Bombay Bicycle Club, Whitest Boy Alive, The Field, School of Seven Bells, Delphic, Boy & Bear.
28. What did you want and get?
A full time job. Money.
...I also wanted the chance to feel free again. It wasn't until I got it that I realised I no longer wanted it.
29. What did you want and not get?
The overseas trip I've dreamed about for so long.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I recall seeing two films this year: Alice in Wonderland, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Both I enjoyed. I honestly didn't think about either of them more than that.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went out to Croft Institute for drinks and dancing. It was rather disappointing because I had to sneak out to enjoy birthday celebrations without telling two people who were close to me at the time. I didn't invite them because I knew there would be tension and possibly drama between them and my other friends, but they found out anyway.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Some new things, new places, new experiences, would've been nice. Maybe getting back into my music would've been good.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Still cute and casual, maybe a little more dressy this year because of how much time I've spent in the CBD.
34. What kept you sane?
Working has been a good distraction. I've loved working nights with the late team. The work itself sucks but the people in my team have made the nights hilariously entertaining. I guess you need an amazing sense of humour to handle call centre work.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Probably David Tennant.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Took a passing interest in the federal election.
37. Who did you miss?
Thomas, Drew, Kiya, Lukie.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Stephen. Luka. The late team - Emily, Seth, Culliver, Kylie, Owen.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Be careful what you wish for.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Once spurring, fire burning, now it's cleared and embers lay.
There are many ways this way.
So I tell you, like you're meant to, and you're quick to guess my choice,
Is it my trembling hands or my voice?
She said, you're stirring, tossing turning, just like you were in flight,
I'm sure your choice is right..
I've always been a coward, been a coward to this day,
There are many ways this way.
And your fortune taken from you
By men that always say,
There are many ways this way."
- 'Many Ways', Bombay Bicycle Club
I guess every new year takes pieces of me that I wouldn't have expected. This year I ended my relationship with Luke. It's been an incredibly difficult thing to move past. I've been handling it quietly, sometimes in ways I'm not so proud of. I can at least say that, from the outside, I have dealt with it in a dignified way. I do believe that Luke and I are both very sensitive and intuitive people, and I think we both tried very hard to make this easier for one another. It is never a good idea to try to remain friends (with or without benefits) with someone you've had this kind of relationship with. He and I remained in occasional contact so that we could provide some insight, some closure, and a little comfort to one another. It was something I'd always dreamed about having with Tristan - that post- break up, superficial conversation, where we talk about where we are in life now, as friends, or at least acquaintances. At least with Luke I've had that conversation. And more. We wrote letters, we reassured one another, we said goodbyes. I promised him that I would remember the good. I promised that I didn't feel as if he had stolen two years from me. He promised that he didn't blame me for the way things turned out.
I've thought often that you don't really know someone until you've broken up with them. When it happened with Luke, the side it brought out in him only made me respect him more. I do still believe that he is an incredible person and I was lucky to have had a relationship with him. I can't begin to explain the ways it has changed me.
2010 has left something of a bitter taste in my mouth. I need 2011 to be a year of healing.