in high school, i was so depressed that i didn't have the capacity to retain things as memories. i read through all my journals that were written during those years, and there is SO much that i wrote about that i cannot remember no matter how hard i try. i hope that the rest of my life isn't going to be like that, or else this all seems pretty ( Read more... )

i am so confused.
so confused.
so confused.
so confused.

head spinning, heart palpitating, mind blowing,
confusion.

i went to toronto last night for nuit blanche. but for an art extravaganza, i didn't actually see any art. that may have had to do with the bottle of rum that i had to drink, and stupidly did not buy any chaser for. but oh, bacardi gold, you are my golden friend. i met with eriver and we went to hudson's house, and then to oriana and jon's ( Read more... )

WAKE UP! it's 7:45 in the morning. i haven't been awake that early since high school, or since i was too hung over to sleep. at work we listened to devendra banhart, iron and wine, the new pornographers, rilo kiley, stars, the weakerthans and the go! team. i guess it was pretentious indie music day (i didn't mind!). it was like a party in my ( Read more... )

i went in, sat down in the chair that i always sit in, was offered a bottle of water - i took it. sipping graciously, i don't even think about what i'm saying. i spill my guts for her to sort out. and she tells me things about myself that i didn't even know, but they are true. i get read like a book.

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yesterday i went to my doctor to get a referral to see a psychiatrist because i'm fucking nuts ( Read more... )

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today i learned that i completely forgot how HARD therapy is when you actually have to start talking about stuff. just like when anything else in my life gets remotely hard, i just want to quit quit QUIT. badly. cross your fingers for me that i won't ( Read more... )

i have a crush on jenny lewis. if i was going to have sex with a girl, it would be with her. the concert was very good tonight -- very intense, not very epilepsy friendly with the lights. they were much better this time than the last time i saw them. i don't really know what else to say other than wow. oh, we got a $6 parking ticket.

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