[multi-part] waiting: part 2
Title: Waiting: Are You Still Waiting?
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2291
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody at all
Summary: After a silly fight Taguchi heads home to his lover.
Warnings: Major angst, violence, character death.
A/N: The second part of racanai's JunDa angst...you did ask for it...
It had been a stupid fight, he knew that the moment he’d walked out the door, despite Tatsuya’s call of “And don’t come back” still echoing down the hallway. Tatsuya was just stubborn and too easily angered, Junno knew he hadn’t meant those words, he never did.
It started out a silly thing “I’ll cook dinner for us tonight” Tatsuya had told him with a bright smile.
A smile that vanished when Junno had jokingly replied “You’re cooking? What’s the special occasion?” Of course he knew what the special occasion was, their Anniversary, he hadn’t even said it in a serious voice, surely Tatsuya must have known he was joking.
Unfortunately his joke backfired, as they so often did, when Tatsuya took him seriously and got angry about him forgetting. He tried to explain that he hadn’t forgotten, that it was a joke, but Tatsuya found that even less funny, and before he knew it things had exploded into a full argument.
His problem was that, even though he wasn’t as easy to anger as his lover, he had a bad habit of not thinking before he spoke. Before he could even stop himself he was spilling out accusations of pig-headedness, then selfishness and then coldness. He meant it, at the time at least, with Tatsuya shouting at him, calling him names and accusing him of not caring, he meant every word he said, but afterwards, when he had calmed down a little he realised he was only saying those things in response to Tatsuya’s anger.
What was he supposed to say when Tatsuya called him childish and selfish, a jerk, prick, asshole, whatever the word of the week was. How was he supposed to react when Tatsuya told him that he just couldn’t stand being with him anymore, that he didn’t want to see him ever again or that he could drop dead for all he cared.
Even the memories of it hurt, but he knew that it was just the way Tatsuya was, that he too said things without thinking, things he didn’t mean. When this happened they would stop speaking to each other for a few days, but then eventually, when they’d both had enough space, they would meet up to talk, to laugh about how they both knew it was stupid as soon as the argument was over, then they’d fuck like bunnies for the rest of the night and everything would be back to normal.
Today was special though, today there wasn’t time for ‘cool off’ days, it was their Anniversary, 6 years to the day since this whirlwind of a relationship had started, and neither of them wanted to argue today.
With a small chuckle to himself Taguchi thought of how it was quite fitting really, after all the screamed words of hate and regret, for them to take it all back and replace them with loving ones. And the thought of that night, make-up sex combined with Anniversary sex, combined with engagement sex.
He smiled slyly to himself as he took out the ring box from his pocket, just because same-sex marriage wasn’t currently legal in Japan, that didn’t meant he shouldn’t secure Tatsuya’s hand ready for when it was. He flipped the box open and looked at the ring, he knew Tatsuya would love it, and though he would never admit it, he knew Tatsuya would love the idea that it was him taking the initiative to take this next step. He always complained that Junno was too shy in public, or not as invested in their relationship as he was, well Junno was about to prove him wrong.
He placed the box safely back in his inside pocket and then checked his watch, 7:40pm. He’d got Tatsuya’s message a few hours ago and didn’t want to be late to dinner, he could tell from the tone of the message that Tatsuya was distressed as usual, over the things he had said, and he also knew that if he was even a few minutes late Tatsuya’s heart would about break with fear that he wouldn’t show up. Of course, he did want Tatsuya to feel a little guilty for the things he’d said, their argument had been rather harsher than usual today, and so he decided not to text back, to let him go on wondering just for a little longer.
Parking was a bit of a problem near Tatsuya’s apartment, so he’d elected to take the train as he usually did when he expected to stay the night. He caught the earlier connection and so to save him from being too early, he decided to take the longer walk to Tatsuya’s apartment, allowing him to stroll leisurely through the beautiful park where they often walked the dogs together.
It had been a fun 6 years, and he hoped for many more years together, sure they fought, more often when they were busy with work, but everything else made up for it. He glanced over to the large willow tree by the hill, it was beneath that tree that they’d shared their first kiss.
He wandered over to it, sliding his hand across the smooth bark as he remembered. It had been Tatsuya that had confessed, he’d noticed how shy Junno had started acting around him, and realised what that meant, but Junno had been surprised when Tatsuya invited him out to play with his dogs, to this very park and here under this very tree he’d confessed.
Tatsuya had been shy then too, back then he didn’t speak much anyway, but he hadn’t needed too, just the whispered words of ‘I like you too’ before he’d leaned in, hand shaking where it rested against Junno’s cheek, to brush their lips together, and that was enough.
“Hey you” he heard, a gruff voice from behind him that startled him from his thoughts. He turned quickly but froze at the sight of three men all in black, stockings marring the features of their faces. His first instinct was to call out for help, but a quick glance around told him there was nobody in sight, nobody to hear him, he raised his hands slowly in surrender.
“Do you have a wallet?” the taller of the three men asked, but Junno couldn’t respond, the central man, the leader he suspected, had slowly pulled a knife from somewhere under his coat. His mind froze, his only thought that this was impossible, things like this didn’t really happen, right?
“Answer him” the man with the knife shouted, raising the offending weapon a little higher into the air.
He nodded, trying to unfreeze, to get his mind working again, to figure out how to get out of this. His mind flashed suddenly back to that morning, Tatsuya reading the paper aloud to him over breakfast, telling him about an attempted bank robbery the previous night, three suspects escaped, believed to be armed, desperate, dangerous.
But that had been almost 24 hours ago, and on the other side of Tokyo, it couldn’t be. His eyes flashed around again, it was getting dark, the sun was setting already and within a half hour or so night time would fall completely. If he could wait it out until it was dark, he hoped that his knowledge of the area might help him in escaping.
“Get it” the man said quietly, dangerously. But when Junno made no move to get it he turned to his two companions “Boys, search him.”
He held as still as he could as the other two approached him, they patted first his jeans pockets, reaching in to take out their contents. That was his wallet gone, there wasn’t much money inside, but it contained his bank cards and some sentimental things too, pictures, notes. Next he felt his keys removed, thankfully there was no sign on them to indicate where he lived, and with all the properties in between here and his apartment across town, it would take a long time for them to find it and be able to do anything.
They searched next his jacket pockets, throwing the tissues and random sticks of gum to the floor, but they found his phone. It was a new model, he’d only had it a month, he suspected they could sell it for a decent amount.
“You’ve got what you want...just let me go...” his voice sounded shakier than he meant it to.
“Have you got anything else?” the third man, to his right growled.
“No” he answered immediately. But a hand snuck around his front, patting him down, until it came to rest on the shape of the small box, hidden in his inside pocket.
“Did you just lie to me?”
He shook his head frantically as the leader drew closer, and then he gasped as he saw the man to his right pull another knife from somewhere on his body.
“Hand it over” the leader demanded but he didn’t move. He couldn’t just hand it over like that, the ring he was about to give to his lover, the ring that was to represent the strength of their love and his willingness to face whatever life threw at them, to just hand it over as though it meant nothing, he just couldn’t.
Three things happened then, but he couldn’t say for sure what order they happened in and who initiated it, but the leader lunged forward to wrestle his jacket from him, he fought his way free and pushed the man off him, and he felt a sharp push against his abdomen followed by a warm almost burning feeling.
It was the scream of the tallest man that alerted him first to what had happened. But as he looked down he saw the handle of the knife sticking out from his body. His knees gave out and he fell to the floor, spluttering a mixture of blood and vomit from his mouth as his head swam, fuzzy and grey.
“You fucking idiot” the leader all but screamed “You weren’t supposed to fucking do that...oh shit, what do we do...”
“Run” the man that had stabbed him shouted, turning and darting away without waiting for the others.
“You know who that is right?” the tallest man said quietly, looking down at Junno as he rolled, writhing onto his back, the pain now catching up with him. “It’s that pop idol...I didn’t even recognise him until after...should we call an ambulance?”
Junno flinched as the leader bent down, almost calmly now beside him, tearing open his shirt before checking his pulse. “He’s lost too much blood...maybe a major artery or organ or something...but it’s too late, there’s nothing they could do...”
Junno gasped against the blood still rising in his throat, he choked as he coughed it up, his hands automatically moving to his abdomen, slipping in the blood as he tried to apply pressure, it couldn’t be too late.
“Let’s get out of here” the taller man said finally, and as though suddenly waking up and realising what had happened, the leader stood, grabbing his companions jacket and together they ran.
He could do nothing but lay there, gasping against the air that was too hard to breathe as rain began to fall lightly around him. He knew he had to move, to try and call for help, to do anything other than give up, but his body refused to respond, so he lay, staring up into the darkness of the night sky.
He couldn’t tell how long it had been, it could have been days or only minutes, but the pain began to fade away, first from his stomach and then from his head, the clouds of grey panic clearing away to leave him feeling strangely alert and lucid. He was numb he guessed, he could feel nothing below his neck, not the wound where the knife stood still inside his flesh, nor his hands where they rested beside it, nor his feet.
On the edges of his vision he could still see the sweeping branches from the willow tree and he remembered what he was supposed to be fighting for, the lover that was waiting this very moment for him to come home to dinner.
His head felt heavy and tears ran from his eyes, he wasn’t going to make it to dinner, he wasn’t going to make it home at all, ever, and the last thing he’d said to the man he loved had been in anger. He would never be able to tell him that he didn’t mean it, would never be able to tell him again that he loves him, that he’s everything, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.
For him this is it, this is the rest of his life, just these few moments alone, in the rain, thinking of Tatsuya and how broken he’ll feel when Junno doesn’t show. How much more it will break him when they find his body. He clenched his eyes shut, it hurt too much to think about.
He was glad at least that if he had to go it was in this place, surround by happy memories of Tatsuya, and he could be happy that at least those men hadn’t managed to take his ring. The one saving grace was that when they found him, they would find it, the delicate band of gold bearing the symbol of eternity, and their names inscribed on the inside.
He held onto that thought as the rain continued pouring, his love for Tatsuya the only thing warming him as his body grew cold, his breath slow and shallow, until the only light in his eyes was the reflection of the moon.
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Sorry guys, I know there were some requests for a happy ending...but I was in a pretty lousy mood earlier when I wrote this...and that's how things just turned out :( I hope it wasn't too far on the side of angst, I don't really like killing people off but racanai did suggest some kind of hostage situation/knowing they would die...so this is what I came up with >_<
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2291
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody at all
Summary: After a silly fight Taguchi heads home to his lover.
Warnings: Major angst, violence, character death.
A/N: The second part of racanai's JunDa angst...you did ask for it...
It had been a stupid fight, he knew that the moment he’d walked out the door, despite Tatsuya’s call of “And don’t come back” still echoing down the hallway. Tatsuya was just stubborn and too easily angered, Junno knew he hadn’t meant those words, he never did.
It started out a silly thing “I’ll cook dinner for us tonight” Tatsuya had told him with a bright smile.
A smile that vanished when Junno had jokingly replied “You’re cooking? What’s the special occasion?” Of course he knew what the special occasion was, their Anniversary, he hadn’t even said it in a serious voice, surely Tatsuya must have known he was joking.
Unfortunately his joke backfired, as they so often did, when Tatsuya took him seriously and got angry about him forgetting. He tried to explain that he hadn’t forgotten, that it was a joke, but Tatsuya found that even less funny, and before he knew it things had exploded into a full argument.
His problem was that, even though he wasn’t as easy to anger as his lover, he had a bad habit of not thinking before he spoke. Before he could even stop himself he was spilling out accusations of pig-headedness, then selfishness and then coldness. He meant it, at the time at least, with Tatsuya shouting at him, calling him names and accusing him of not caring, he meant every word he said, but afterwards, when he had calmed down a little he realised he was only saying those things in response to Tatsuya’s anger.
What was he supposed to say when Tatsuya called him childish and selfish, a jerk, prick, asshole, whatever the word of the week was. How was he supposed to react when Tatsuya told him that he just couldn’t stand being with him anymore, that he didn’t want to see him ever again or that he could drop dead for all he cared.
Even the memories of it hurt, but he knew that it was just the way Tatsuya was, that he too said things without thinking, things he didn’t mean. When this happened they would stop speaking to each other for a few days, but then eventually, when they’d both had enough space, they would meet up to talk, to laugh about how they both knew it was stupid as soon as the argument was over, then they’d fuck like bunnies for the rest of the night and everything would be back to normal.
Today was special though, today there wasn’t time for ‘cool off’ days, it was their Anniversary, 6 years to the day since this whirlwind of a relationship had started, and neither of them wanted to argue today.
With a small chuckle to himself Taguchi thought of how it was quite fitting really, after all the screamed words of hate and regret, for them to take it all back and replace them with loving ones. And the thought of that night, make-up sex combined with Anniversary sex, combined with engagement sex.
He smiled slyly to himself as he took out the ring box from his pocket, just because same-sex marriage wasn’t currently legal in Japan, that didn’t meant he shouldn’t secure Tatsuya’s hand ready for when it was. He flipped the box open and looked at the ring, he knew Tatsuya would love it, and though he would never admit it, he knew Tatsuya would love the idea that it was him taking the initiative to take this next step. He always complained that Junno was too shy in public, or not as invested in their relationship as he was, well Junno was about to prove him wrong.
He placed the box safely back in his inside pocket and then checked his watch, 7:40pm. He’d got Tatsuya’s message a few hours ago and didn’t want to be late to dinner, he could tell from the tone of the message that Tatsuya was distressed as usual, over the things he had said, and he also knew that if he was even a few minutes late Tatsuya’s heart would about break with fear that he wouldn’t show up. Of course, he did want Tatsuya to feel a little guilty for the things he’d said, their argument had been rather harsher than usual today, and so he decided not to text back, to let him go on wondering just for a little longer.
Parking was a bit of a problem near Tatsuya’s apartment, so he’d elected to take the train as he usually did when he expected to stay the night. He caught the earlier connection and so to save him from being too early, he decided to take the longer walk to Tatsuya’s apartment, allowing him to stroll leisurely through the beautiful park where they often walked the dogs together.
It had been a fun 6 years, and he hoped for many more years together, sure they fought, more often when they were busy with work, but everything else made up for it. He glanced over to the large willow tree by the hill, it was beneath that tree that they’d shared their first kiss.
He wandered over to it, sliding his hand across the smooth bark as he remembered. It had been Tatsuya that had confessed, he’d noticed how shy Junno had started acting around him, and realised what that meant, but Junno had been surprised when Tatsuya invited him out to play with his dogs, to this very park and here under this very tree he’d confessed.
Tatsuya had been shy then too, back then he didn’t speak much anyway, but he hadn’t needed too, just the whispered words of ‘I like you too’ before he’d leaned in, hand shaking where it rested against Junno’s cheek, to brush their lips together, and that was enough.
“Hey you” he heard, a gruff voice from behind him that startled him from his thoughts. He turned quickly but froze at the sight of three men all in black, stockings marring the features of their faces. His first instinct was to call out for help, but a quick glance around told him there was nobody in sight, nobody to hear him, he raised his hands slowly in surrender.
“Do you have a wallet?” the taller of the three men asked, but Junno couldn’t respond, the central man, the leader he suspected, had slowly pulled a knife from somewhere under his coat. His mind froze, his only thought that this was impossible, things like this didn’t really happen, right?
“Answer him” the man with the knife shouted, raising the offending weapon a little higher into the air.
He nodded, trying to unfreeze, to get his mind working again, to figure out how to get out of this. His mind flashed suddenly back to that morning, Tatsuya reading the paper aloud to him over breakfast, telling him about an attempted bank robbery the previous night, three suspects escaped, believed to be armed, desperate, dangerous.
But that had been almost 24 hours ago, and on the other side of Tokyo, it couldn’t be. His eyes flashed around again, it was getting dark, the sun was setting already and within a half hour or so night time would fall completely. If he could wait it out until it was dark, he hoped that his knowledge of the area might help him in escaping.
“Get it” the man said quietly, dangerously. But when Junno made no move to get it he turned to his two companions “Boys, search him.”
He held as still as he could as the other two approached him, they patted first his jeans pockets, reaching in to take out their contents. That was his wallet gone, there wasn’t much money inside, but it contained his bank cards and some sentimental things too, pictures, notes. Next he felt his keys removed, thankfully there was no sign on them to indicate where he lived, and with all the properties in between here and his apartment across town, it would take a long time for them to find it and be able to do anything.
They searched next his jacket pockets, throwing the tissues and random sticks of gum to the floor, but they found his phone. It was a new model, he’d only had it a month, he suspected they could sell it for a decent amount.
“You’ve got what you want...just let me go...” his voice sounded shakier than he meant it to.
“Have you got anything else?” the third man, to his right growled.
“No” he answered immediately. But a hand snuck around his front, patting him down, until it came to rest on the shape of the small box, hidden in his inside pocket.
“Did you just lie to me?”
He shook his head frantically as the leader drew closer, and then he gasped as he saw the man to his right pull another knife from somewhere on his body.
“Hand it over” the leader demanded but he didn’t move. He couldn’t just hand it over like that, the ring he was about to give to his lover, the ring that was to represent the strength of their love and his willingness to face whatever life threw at them, to just hand it over as though it meant nothing, he just couldn’t.
Three things happened then, but he couldn’t say for sure what order they happened in and who initiated it, but the leader lunged forward to wrestle his jacket from him, he fought his way free and pushed the man off him, and he felt a sharp push against his abdomen followed by a warm almost burning feeling.
It was the scream of the tallest man that alerted him first to what had happened. But as he looked down he saw the handle of the knife sticking out from his body. His knees gave out and he fell to the floor, spluttering a mixture of blood and vomit from his mouth as his head swam, fuzzy and grey.
“You fucking idiot” the leader all but screamed “You weren’t supposed to fucking do that...oh shit, what do we do...”
“Run” the man that had stabbed him shouted, turning and darting away without waiting for the others.
“You know who that is right?” the tallest man said quietly, looking down at Junno as he rolled, writhing onto his back, the pain now catching up with him. “It’s that pop idol...I didn’t even recognise him until after...should we call an ambulance?”
Junno flinched as the leader bent down, almost calmly now beside him, tearing open his shirt before checking his pulse. “He’s lost too much blood...maybe a major artery or organ or something...but it’s too late, there’s nothing they could do...”
Junno gasped against the blood still rising in his throat, he choked as he coughed it up, his hands automatically moving to his abdomen, slipping in the blood as he tried to apply pressure, it couldn’t be too late.
“Let’s get out of here” the taller man said finally, and as though suddenly waking up and realising what had happened, the leader stood, grabbing his companions jacket and together they ran.
He could do nothing but lay there, gasping against the air that was too hard to breathe as rain began to fall lightly around him. He knew he had to move, to try and call for help, to do anything other than give up, but his body refused to respond, so he lay, staring up into the darkness of the night sky.
He couldn’t tell how long it had been, it could have been days or only minutes, but the pain began to fade away, first from his stomach and then from his head, the clouds of grey panic clearing away to leave him feeling strangely alert and lucid. He was numb he guessed, he could feel nothing below his neck, not the wound where the knife stood still inside his flesh, nor his hands where they rested beside it, nor his feet.
On the edges of his vision he could still see the sweeping branches from the willow tree and he remembered what he was supposed to be fighting for, the lover that was waiting this very moment for him to come home to dinner.
His head felt heavy and tears ran from his eyes, he wasn’t going to make it to dinner, he wasn’t going to make it home at all, ever, and the last thing he’d said to the man he loved had been in anger. He would never be able to tell him that he didn’t mean it, would never be able to tell him again that he loves him, that he’s everything, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.
For him this is it, this is the rest of his life, just these few moments alone, in the rain, thinking of Tatsuya and how broken he’ll feel when Junno doesn’t show. How much more it will break him when they find his body. He clenched his eyes shut, it hurt too much to think about.
He was glad at least that if he had to go it was in this place, surround by happy memories of Tatsuya, and he could be happy that at least those men hadn’t managed to take his ring. The one saving grace was that when they found him, they would find it, the delicate band of gold bearing the symbol of eternity, and their names inscribed on the inside.
He held onto that thought as the rain continued pouring, his love for Tatsuya the only thing warming him as his body grew cold, his breath slow and shallow, until the only light in his eyes was the reflection of the moon.
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Sorry guys, I know there were some requests for a happy ending...but I was in a pretty lousy mood earlier when I wrote this...and that's how things just turned out :( I hope it wasn't too far on the side of angst, I don't really like killing people off but racanai did suggest some kind of hostage situation/knowing they would die...so this is what I came up with >_<