[multichapter] baby blue part 2 chapter 24
Title: Baby Blue: Part 2: Chapter 24
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1885
Disclaimer: I still haven't found a way to make them my slaves yet...
Summary: It was all supposed to end with the tour...but what if they can't stop? What if they won't stop? How will it affect their relationship, and their relationships with those closest to them?
October 12th 2012
As he began to wake, he felt the warmth seeping into him from the body curled against his, for a moment he felt happy, but then the previous night came back to him and emptiness set in once more. He looked down at Taguchi, still sleeping peacefully and all he could hope was that the young man would sleep as long as possible, that he could keep dreaming as long as possible. But he knew it was only matter of time before they had to get up, before they had to face the world that had so cruelly brought them together only for them to have to tear themselves apart.
His mind flitted back to the previous night, the way Taguchi had fallen to his knees in anguish and begged him...he had to stop thinking of it, it wouldn’t help anything to shed more tears. It had been slightly better later, and so he focused on that, how he’d made love to Taguchi, allowing himself for the first time to see it for what it was, allowing himself to tell Taguchi that, to whisper sweet words and promises into his ear as though they would still mean something the next day.
Afterwards they’d cuddled close, they talked about their relationship and the things they liked most about it, the things that made them laugh and smile, and Ueda talked through the things he’d realised as they’d watched the sun setting that night.
They dragged the night out as long as possible, until the sun was already lighting a stripe along the skyline, but inevitably they fell asleep, breaking the spell.
His chest hurt, it was suffocatingly tight and he found his breathing thick and harsh, like trying to breathe through smoke. Was this what heartbreak felt like? He thought he’d felt it before, when Ryoko had betrayed him, but it wasn’t the same. Back then he’d felt angry and hurt and humiliated, he’d wanted to shout and scream and hit things and also to cry, but he’d never dreaded waking up the way he did last night, he’d never felt so lost and completely alone.
“Morning” came Taguchi’s voice, pulling him back to reality.
“Morning Taguchi” he responded, and he felt his heart break all over again at the transition of emotions on the younger man’s face, first confusion, then recognition, then sadness and finally something worse.
“I guess this is it then? The magic is over? And we’re...” he gulped and Ueda nodded reluctantly.
“I’ll go shower” Ueda said finally, pulling himself out of bed. But he showered quickly, dismayed that even the bathroom held such wonderful memories for them and then he dressed and dried his hair as Taguchi showered.
As he moved from the bedroom to the kitchen he tried to ignore the distraught sobs he heard coming from the bathroom, he rubbed at his own eyes furiously, discouraging his own tears.
When Taguchi finally joined him in the kitchen, almost all trace of his sadness was gone, it was only visible deep in his eyes and Ueda tried not to look for it. Taguchi smiled brightly suddenly. “At least it’s not like a drama...one of us didn’t die...and we can still be friends right?”
Ueda couldn’t help but laugh “Of course, we can”.
Taguchi made breakfast and then drove them both to work, Ueda hoped his car was ready to pick up today or he’d be in trouble...maybe Maru would give him a ride, he couldn’t exactly expect it from Taguchi now.
He didn’t even notice they’d arrived until Taguchi switched off the engine and spoke to him “Ready?” Ueda put on his brave face. “I think we should...you know, let the guys know...just so they don’t say anything that...well, I mean it’s best that they know...” Ueda thought about it for a moment but he was right, they could hardly just split up without telling anyone, not after all the mess they caused lying about being together in the first place.
“Yeah you’re right” he agreed and they headed inside.
Ueda was glad to see that everyone was already there when they walked in, it was only a few minutes until they were due in rehearsals after all.
“Hey guys, before we go down, could we...could we talk to you for a minute.” Ueda asked nervously.
Kame’s eyes narrowed in apprehension “What? What’s happened?”
Ueda actually laughed “Calm down, it’s nothing to worry about.” Kame nodded and then they all sat down on the sofa, Taguchi and Ueda taking a seat on the table in front of them.
“We just wanted to let you guys know that we’re not going to...see each other anymore...in that way.” Taguchi announced.
“What?” Kame asked surprised.
“It’s nothing to worry about, we didn’t fight or anything, we’re still good, just we’ve noticed things getting a bit too serious between us recently...and we figured that can’t be good...so we just...before things go any further.” Taguchi continued.
Kame nodded thoughtfully “It makes sense...I’m glad you’re being sensible about it.”
“Are you going to be ok...like working together and stuff?” Koki chipped in.
“Of course...we’re still going to be the same...only you know...not so much with the fucking...” Taguchi continued, grimacing towards the end.
“Well, I for one” started Maru, standing up “Will be happy things are back to normal, what was with all that nonsense anyway...let’s go rehearse.”
Ueda tried not to flinch at Maru’s harsh words, but there would be no point in defending what they had when they didn’t even have it anymore. He stood and followed Maru out of the room, the others behind him.
He focused as much as he could on the rehearsal, but he was relieved when it was over. They all showered and then began leaving for the day, Maru first, followed by Koki. Ueda went out of the room to call the garage and check on his car, they said they hoped to have it running by tomorrow. He was about the re-enter the room when he heard Kame’s voice.
“Taguchi, can I talk to you?”
“Is it about Uepi?” came Taguchi’s reply.
“Yeah...”
“Then no.” Taguchi replied shortly and his tone said it was final. Ueda slowly pushed the door open and walked in. “Is your car ready?” Taguchi asked turning to him. Ueda just shook his head, shrugging. “I’m about ready to go...I can give you a ride home if you want?”
“I’ll be alright, thanks though...I was going to go for a run anyway...maybe hit the gym”
Taguchi nodded unsatisfied, he glanced at Kame, but when he saw the other man was still dressing, he continued anyway. “Hey...I was thinking...there’s still some of your stuff at my place...clothes and stuff...I could pack it all up and drop it off later?”
Ueda nodded but he could feel a lump rising in his throat “Sure, I’ll pack your stuff up too...”
“What time would be best for you?” Taguchi continued reluctantly.
“I guess, after eight?” his voice sounded too thick.
“Sure” Taguchi nodded. “And you’re sure you’ll be ok? You don’t need a ride?” He didn’t trust his voice so he just shook his head, watching as Taguchi left the room. He could feel heat behind his eyes and he turned to busy himself with his bag, hiding his face from Kame.
“Tacchan?” Kame asked quietly, concerned. He couldn’t answer, the tears were already coming, he bit his lip to hold back a sob, but when he felt Kame’s hand press gently onto his shoulder he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He would have crumpled forward if Kame hadn’t pulled him into an embrace. “Oh Tacchan” Kame said pityingly, but Ueda could do nothing but cling onto him, desperate sobs wracking his chest.
Kame rubbed his back soothingly, whispering words of comfort into his hair. “I’m sorry Kame, we should have listened to you...you were right all along...”
“Shhh, that doesn’t matter now, what matters, is that you’re alright...”
Ueda shook his head “It hurts so much...”
“What happened?”
He tried to stand up, to face Kame “I love him” but the sobs started again at his confession “Kame, I love him so much I can’t breathe...” his knees gave way and Kame sunk to the floor with him, still holding him close. He couldn’t say how long they sat there, but the tears eventually subsided again and he pulled himself together, loosening his grip on Kame’s shirt as he sat up on his own. “I’m sorry...you told me not to come crying to you when it all blew up in my face...”
Kame shook his head “Yeah well, back then I didn’t expect that to actually happen” there was a small silence “I’m not going to lecture you over this, I think it’s hard enough on you already...but I will be there for you, if you need anything...not sex” he added smirking and Ueda laughed shakily. “Come on I’ll get you home.”
When they pulled up outside his apartment he insisted to Kame that he’d be ok from here, and he went up alone. He tried not to picture Taguchi’s presence as he moved around, collecting together Taguchi’s belongings, blinking back tears.
By the time he finished there were still hours before Taguchi would show up, but he couldn’t bear to push the final ending forward, and so he amused himself by taking the dogs out for a walk and then doing a little boxing training before showering. At eight he sat down on the sofa, the TV that he wasn’t watching playing quietly in the background.
He arrived at around quarter past eight, he let himself into the building with his key but he knocked at Ueda’s apartment door and waited for him to answer it.
He smiled sadly at Ueda as he opened the door, but without further ceremony he passed the box over. Ueda took it reluctantly and placed it on the floor behind him, not having the strength yet to look at its contents.
“I had some stuff like the shakes you drink and some stuff from the bakery you like...so I sent those too...I kept the tea in case you ever...you know...”
Ueda nodded “Thank you” he turned and picked up the box of Taguchi’s things he’d packed, he’d left it in the genkan so that he didn’t have to look at it while he waited.
“So...” Taguchi said, and he placed the box on the floor beside him. He reached into his pocket and Ueda’s stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch as Taguchi held out his key.
“Keep it” he said without thinking.
Taguchi looked surprised “Are you sure?”
“Yeah” Ueda replied quickly, he couldn’t explain why the key was worse, why it felt like the end. “You know...if I have to go away or something...then...the dogs...” he continued quickly.
Taguchi smiled “Then you can hang on to mine too...you know, if I go away...you can look after the plants again...”
Ueda laughed “Yeah ok.” Then he shook his head a little bitterly.
“So I guess this is it...”
“Yeah” Ueda replied and he slotted himself securely into Taguchi’s arms one last time. “Thank you Junno, I love you.”
“I love you too baby” Taguchi answered, and then he pulled away, picking up his box and then he left.
THE END
------------------------------------------------------------
So that's it...the end of part 2. If everyone still wants part 3 next then I'll probably start posting that next week sometime. In the meantime I'm still working on other things, and for anyone that is interested, my masterpost now contains a 'Work In Progress' section :)
Thank you guys for sticking with me and this story for so long, and I hope you'll stick around for the next part (despite all the angst)!!!
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1885
Disclaimer: I still haven't found a way to make them my slaves yet...
Summary: It was all supposed to end with the tour...but what if they can't stop? What if they won't stop? How will it affect their relationship, and their relationships with those closest to them?
October 12th 2012
As he began to wake, he felt the warmth seeping into him from the body curled against his, for a moment he felt happy, but then the previous night came back to him and emptiness set in once more. He looked down at Taguchi, still sleeping peacefully and all he could hope was that the young man would sleep as long as possible, that he could keep dreaming as long as possible. But he knew it was only matter of time before they had to get up, before they had to face the world that had so cruelly brought them together only for them to have to tear themselves apart.
His mind flitted back to the previous night, the way Taguchi had fallen to his knees in anguish and begged him...he had to stop thinking of it, it wouldn’t help anything to shed more tears. It had been slightly better later, and so he focused on that, how he’d made love to Taguchi, allowing himself for the first time to see it for what it was, allowing himself to tell Taguchi that, to whisper sweet words and promises into his ear as though they would still mean something the next day.
Afterwards they’d cuddled close, they talked about their relationship and the things they liked most about it, the things that made them laugh and smile, and Ueda talked through the things he’d realised as they’d watched the sun setting that night.
They dragged the night out as long as possible, until the sun was already lighting a stripe along the skyline, but inevitably they fell asleep, breaking the spell.
His chest hurt, it was suffocatingly tight and he found his breathing thick and harsh, like trying to breathe through smoke. Was this what heartbreak felt like? He thought he’d felt it before, when Ryoko had betrayed him, but it wasn’t the same. Back then he’d felt angry and hurt and humiliated, he’d wanted to shout and scream and hit things and also to cry, but he’d never dreaded waking up the way he did last night, he’d never felt so lost and completely alone.
“Morning” came Taguchi’s voice, pulling him back to reality.
“Morning Taguchi” he responded, and he felt his heart break all over again at the transition of emotions on the younger man’s face, first confusion, then recognition, then sadness and finally something worse.
“I guess this is it then? The magic is over? And we’re...” he gulped and Ueda nodded reluctantly.
“I’ll go shower” Ueda said finally, pulling himself out of bed. But he showered quickly, dismayed that even the bathroom held such wonderful memories for them and then he dressed and dried his hair as Taguchi showered.
As he moved from the bedroom to the kitchen he tried to ignore the distraught sobs he heard coming from the bathroom, he rubbed at his own eyes furiously, discouraging his own tears.
When Taguchi finally joined him in the kitchen, almost all trace of his sadness was gone, it was only visible deep in his eyes and Ueda tried not to look for it. Taguchi smiled brightly suddenly. “At least it’s not like a drama...one of us didn’t die...and we can still be friends right?”
Ueda couldn’t help but laugh “Of course, we can”.
Taguchi made breakfast and then drove them both to work, Ueda hoped his car was ready to pick up today or he’d be in trouble...maybe Maru would give him a ride, he couldn’t exactly expect it from Taguchi now.
He didn’t even notice they’d arrived until Taguchi switched off the engine and spoke to him “Ready?” Ueda put on his brave face. “I think we should...you know, let the guys know...just so they don’t say anything that...well, I mean it’s best that they know...” Ueda thought about it for a moment but he was right, they could hardly just split up without telling anyone, not after all the mess they caused lying about being together in the first place.
“Yeah you’re right” he agreed and they headed inside.
Ueda was glad to see that everyone was already there when they walked in, it was only a few minutes until they were due in rehearsals after all.
“Hey guys, before we go down, could we...could we talk to you for a minute.” Ueda asked nervously.
Kame’s eyes narrowed in apprehension “What? What’s happened?”
Ueda actually laughed “Calm down, it’s nothing to worry about.” Kame nodded and then they all sat down on the sofa, Taguchi and Ueda taking a seat on the table in front of them.
“We just wanted to let you guys know that we’re not going to...see each other anymore...in that way.” Taguchi announced.
“What?” Kame asked surprised.
“It’s nothing to worry about, we didn’t fight or anything, we’re still good, just we’ve noticed things getting a bit too serious between us recently...and we figured that can’t be good...so we just...before things go any further.” Taguchi continued.
Kame nodded thoughtfully “It makes sense...I’m glad you’re being sensible about it.”
“Are you going to be ok...like working together and stuff?” Koki chipped in.
“Of course...we’re still going to be the same...only you know...not so much with the fucking...” Taguchi continued, grimacing towards the end.
“Well, I for one” started Maru, standing up “Will be happy things are back to normal, what was with all that nonsense anyway...let’s go rehearse.”
Ueda tried not to flinch at Maru’s harsh words, but there would be no point in defending what they had when they didn’t even have it anymore. He stood and followed Maru out of the room, the others behind him.
He focused as much as he could on the rehearsal, but he was relieved when it was over. They all showered and then began leaving for the day, Maru first, followed by Koki. Ueda went out of the room to call the garage and check on his car, they said they hoped to have it running by tomorrow. He was about the re-enter the room when he heard Kame’s voice.
“Taguchi, can I talk to you?”
“Is it about Uepi?” came Taguchi’s reply.
“Yeah...”
“Then no.” Taguchi replied shortly and his tone said it was final. Ueda slowly pushed the door open and walked in. “Is your car ready?” Taguchi asked turning to him. Ueda just shook his head, shrugging. “I’m about ready to go...I can give you a ride home if you want?”
“I’ll be alright, thanks though...I was going to go for a run anyway...maybe hit the gym”
Taguchi nodded unsatisfied, he glanced at Kame, but when he saw the other man was still dressing, he continued anyway. “Hey...I was thinking...there’s still some of your stuff at my place...clothes and stuff...I could pack it all up and drop it off later?”
Ueda nodded but he could feel a lump rising in his throat “Sure, I’ll pack your stuff up too...”
“What time would be best for you?” Taguchi continued reluctantly.
“I guess, after eight?” his voice sounded too thick.
“Sure” Taguchi nodded. “And you’re sure you’ll be ok? You don’t need a ride?” He didn’t trust his voice so he just shook his head, watching as Taguchi left the room. He could feel heat behind his eyes and he turned to busy himself with his bag, hiding his face from Kame.
“Tacchan?” Kame asked quietly, concerned. He couldn’t answer, the tears were already coming, he bit his lip to hold back a sob, but when he felt Kame’s hand press gently onto his shoulder he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He would have crumpled forward if Kame hadn’t pulled him into an embrace. “Oh Tacchan” Kame said pityingly, but Ueda could do nothing but cling onto him, desperate sobs wracking his chest.
Kame rubbed his back soothingly, whispering words of comfort into his hair. “I’m sorry Kame, we should have listened to you...you were right all along...”
“Shhh, that doesn’t matter now, what matters, is that you’re alright...”
Ueda shook his head “It hurts so much...”
“What happened?”
He tried to stand up, to face Kame “I love him” but the sobs started again at his confession “Kame, I love him so much I can’t breathe...” his knees gave way and Kame sunk to the floor with him, still holding him close. He couldn’t say how long they sat there, but the tears eventually subsided again and he pulled himself together, loosening his grip on Kame’s shirt as he sat up on his own. “I’m sorry...you told me not to come crying to you when it all blew up in my face...”
Kame shook his head “Yeah well, back then I didn’t expect that to actually happen” there was a small silence “I’m not going to lecture you over this, I think it’s hard enough on you already...but I will be there for you, if you need anything...not sex” he added smirking and Ueda laughed shakily. “Come on I’ll get you home.”
When they pulled up outside his apartment he insisted to Kame that he’d be ok from here, and he went up alone. He tried not to picture Taguchi’s presence as he moved around, collecting together Taguchi’s belongings, blinking back tears.
By the time he finished there were still hours before Taguchi would show up, but he couldn’t bear to push the final ending forward, and so he amused himself by taking the dogs out for a walk and then doing a little boxing training before showering. At eight he sat down on the sofa, the TV that he wasn’t watching playing quietly in the background.
He arrived at around quarter past eight, he let himself into the building with his key but he knocked at Ueda’s apartment door and waited for him to answer it.
He smiled sadly at Ueda as he opened the door, but without further ceremony he passed the box over. Ueda took it reluctantly and placed it on the floor behind him, not having the strength yet to look at its contents.
“I had some stuff like the shakes you drink and some stuff from the bakery you like...so I sent those too...I kept the tea in case you ever...you know...”
Ueda nodded “Thank you” he turned and picked up the box of Taguchi’s things he’d packed, he’d left it in the genkan so that he didn’t have to look at it while he waited.
“So...” Taguchi said, and he placed the box on the floor beside him. He reached into his pocket and Ueda’s stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch as Taguchi held out his key.
“Keep it” he said without thinking.
Taguchi looked surprised “Are you sure?”
“Yeah” Ueda replied quickly, he couldn’t explain why the key was worse, why it felt like the end. “You know...if I have to go away or something...then...the dogs...” he continued quickly.
Taguchi smiled “Then you can hang on to mine too...you know, if I go away...you can look after the plants again...”
Ueda laughed “Yeah ok.” Then he shook his head a little bitterly.
“So I guess this is it...”
“Yeah” Ueda replied and he slotted himself securely into Taguchi’s arms one last time. “Thank you Junno, I love you.”
“I love you too baby” Taguchi answered, and then he pulled away, picking up his box and then he left.
THE END
------------------------------------------------------------
So that's it...the end of part 2. If everyone still wants part 3 next then I'll probably start posting that next week sometime. In the meantime I'm still working on other things, and for anyone that is interested, my masterpost now contains a 'Work In Progress' section :)
Thank you guys for sticking with me and this story for so long, and I hope you'll stick around for the next part (despite all the angst)!!!