[multichapter] baby blue part 3 chapter 12
Title: Baby Blue: Part 3: Chapter 12
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1568
Disclaimer: All people mentioned belong only to themselves...aside from JunDa who clearly belong to each other.
Summary: In the fairy tales they fall in love and live happily ever after...but this isn't a fairy tale. How are two people, madly in love, supposed to stay away from each other?
March 28th 2013
The weeks passed and things weren’t getting any better, in fact if Ueda was pushed for a comment, he’d say they were worse. The feelings were there still, raw and tempting and heart-breakingly strong, only now the two of them were much more cautious.
They avoided being together, talking to each other even, sometimes, Taguchi even refused to look at him. Ueda knew it was for the best, that if they didn’t keep their distance they would likely slip up again, but even if he knew Taguchi was only acting so coldly because he loved him so much, it still felt like a kick in the gut.
KAT-TUN were already in meetings about their summer tour, this time it would be bigger and better they promised each other…this time nobody would start fucking each other - Ueda knew they were all thinking it even if nobody said it.
“Ueda-kun?” he was startled from his thoughts with the voice of one of the staff.
“Sorry?” he replied, flushing a little.
“I was just asking about your solo…are you working on something yourself or would you like to see a list of contributing artists?”
He hadn’t even thought about it, usually when lives came around it was one of the first things he wanted to perfect but this time around he had nothing. He hadn’t even considered writing in so long. “Yeah, I’ll see the list please.”
The staff member looked slightly surprised, it had been years since he hadn’t written his own solo and usually he was only asked out of politeness. “Ok, I’ll have the list along with some demos mailed to you.” He just nodded, not wanting to look at the concerned expressions on his band-mates faces.
From the sound of scraping chairs that followed, he figured it must be the end of the meeting. He was vaguely aware that they had another meeting next in the same room so he just slumped down onto the table.
He was exhausted, he’d been sleeping a little better recently but not as well as he used too and the steady increase in his work load had really been taking its toll on him. Thankfully he only had two full days left before filming would be over for his drama, he was sad about it since he had genuinely enjoyed the experience, but he was also a little relieved at not having to see that girl on a daily basis anymore.
Things had been perfectly civil between them on set, though not quite as comfortable as before, and both their other cast mates and the press had picked up on that, leading to endless headlines in gossip magazines about the fragile state of their ‘relationship’.
Another thing to be glad for was that he wouldn’t have to juggle drama filming and concert preparations like Taguchi did. Taguchi’s drama had begun filming two weeks ago and Ueda felt a little sorry for him that it wouldn’t be over until after the start of their tour. It wasn’t the first time any of them had filming at the same time as concerts, but that didn’t mean it was easy.
“How are you holding up?” Koki asked, plopping down into the seat beside him and almost spilling the drinks he was carrying. “How about some nice, fresh, filter coffee?” he grimaced, handing one of the paper cups to Ueda.
“Thanks” he snorted but it was better than nothing and he took a small sip, face only scrunching a little at the bitterness.
“Kame and Maru went out to get some decent drinks…and I think we’re going to order in some pizza after this next one.”
Ueda nodded “What is it now?”
“Set list discussion…then we have the costume people coming in to measure us and throw some ideas around.”
“It’s going to be a long day” Ueda groaned, it was only the early afternoon but he knew what the costume designers were like, they’d probably be here all night.
“You both seem to be doing better these days…I know things aren’t ideal, but…”
Ueda nodded “You know it’s been more than six months since we broke up…” he smiled a little bitterly, remembering his earlier thoughts concerning today’s date. “Actually…this time a year ago the thought of sleeping with him hadn’t even crossed my mind…but just a few hours later and…it was so stupid, I wasn’t even attracted to him, I was pissed at him…”
Koki laughed a little, but there were traces of pity in his expression “It’s not like you could have known this would happen…”
“I think Kame did…he warned us plenty enough, but we were just so sure we were right…”
“That’s because you’re so stubborn”
He nodded “Yeah, thanks Koki” and he lay his head back down against the table, he’d been thinking about it too much today. It felt like a lifetime ago that they were sneaking around in hotels, crushing mouths together in desperate kisses, bodies melding together in blissful perfection.
He glanced across the room at Taguchi, tucked away in a quiet corner, his headphones in and a script in his hand. His heart leapt in his chest when the eyes across from him flicked up, their gazes locking momentarily until they both turned away.
The room was suddenly feeling surprisingly hot and Ueda stood up ungracefully, mumbling something about fresh air as he made his way to the door.
He didn’t know where he was going, or why he’d suddenly needed to get away, the things he was trying to get away from were inside his head after all, flashes of images, memories, Taguchi’s playful grin hovering above him, leaning in for a kiss.
He shook his head, it wasn’t helping, he couldn’t do this. He noticed a bathroom just ahead and he headed towards that, storming straight into a cubicle and locking the door. He leaned back against the wall, his shaky breaths coming out too loud, echoing in the small tiled room as he tried to resist the onslaught of images, Taguchi’s gentle words as he pushed his fingers in and out of him.
He put a hand on his chest as though it might calm his hammering heart, as though it might keep the rest of him from falling apart. He wanted nothing more than for Taguchi to come after him, to whisper sweet encouraging words into his ear and to wrap him in strong arms, holding him together.
He let out a frustrated grunt, kicking at the wall opposite him as he rested his head back on the one behind him. It was stupid, to need him so much now, to need the one person that had done this to him, that had left him in this state. That wasn’t quite right either though, he’d been the one to say it first…the one to admit they’d gone too far, he was the one who ended it.
He wondered briefly where they would be now if he’d never said it, if they’d continued pretending, would it have lasted this long? Would they have still spent Christmas in each other’s arms, hushed moans spilling into each other’s mouths as they tasted sweet perfection in the way their bodies connected.
Would Taguchi be here with him now, lips hard and urgent against his own, their hips grinding together to find that little piece of heaven before they needed to head back to work. Just the thought had him hardening, and he cringed with how messed up it was, but now that those gates had been opened he could think of nothing else.
He quickly unfastened his trousers, pushing them roughly down to mid-thigh in desperation to alleviate some of this tension. He wrapped a firm hand around himself, stroking hard, thrusting his hips into his own hand as he thought of Taguchi, his firm muscles, the feel of his skin as Ueda clung to his shoulders, legs splayed out, giving himself over completely. The soft grunts and moans Taguchi made coming alive in his ears, his husky lust-laden voice, and the sweet words he was so desperate to hear ‘I love you’.
He only just managed to reach for some toilet paper before he was spilling over, his body shaking as the echo of his own cry settled in the air around him. He took a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and wishing more than anything that the ground would swallow him up.
But when his eyes opened he was still there, in the dingy little bathroom stall, sticky white fluid half caught and half dribbling over his hand, and he felt ashamed of what he’d done. He wiped his hand quickly before throwing the tissue into the toilet and flushing it, re-fastening and adjusting his clothes before stepping out of the stall.
He was thankful that at least he was still alone, and he walked over to the sink, washing his hands thoroughly, even taking off his ring to ensure it was cleaned properly before placing it back on his finger.
He glanced at himself in the mirror in front of him, taking in the flushed cheeks, the dark bags under his eyes, and the eyes themselves, still looking empty. He shook his head in disappointment with himself, and then splashed water over his face to wake him up a little before heading back to the meeting room.
Chapter 11 | Chapter 13
--------------------------------------------------
Points to racanai who predicted that something would happen on the anniversary of their first time...even if it's not quite what you might have expected >_<
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1568
Disclaimer: All people mentioned belong only to themselves...aside from JunDa who clearly belong to each other.
Summary: In the fairy tales they fall in love and live happily ever after...but this isn't a fairy tale. How are two people, madly in love, supposed to stay away from each other?
March 28th 2013
The weeks passed and things weren’t getting any better, in fact if Ueda was pushed for a comment, he’d say they were worse. The feelings were there still, raw and tempting and heart-breakingly strong, only now the two of them were much more cautious.
They avoided being together, talking to each other even, sometimes, Taguchi even refused to look at him. Ueda knew it was for the best, that if they didn’t keep their distance they would likely slip up again, but even if he knew Taguchi was only acting so coldly because he loved him so much, it still felt like a kick in the gut.
KAT-TUN were already in meetings about their summer tour, this time it would be bigger and better they promised each other…this time nobody would start fucking each other - Ueda knew they were all thinking it even if nobody said it.
“Ueda-kun?” he was startled from his thoughts with the voice of one of the staff.
“Sorry?” he replied, flushing a little.
“I was just asking about your solo…are you working on something yourself or would you like to see a list of contributing artists?”
He hadn’t even thought about it, usually when lives came around it was one of the first things he wanted to perfect but this time around he had nothing. He hadn’t even considered writing in so long. “Yeah, I’ll see the list please.”
The staff member looked slightly surprised, it had been years since he hadn’t written his own solo and usually he was only asked out of politeness. “Ok, I’ll have the list along with some demos mailed to you.” He just nodded, not wanting to look at the concerned expressions on his band-mates faces.
From the sound of scraping chairs that followed, he figured it must be the end of the meeting. He was vaguely aware that they had another meeting next in the same room so he just slumped down onto the table.
He was exhausted, he’d been sleeping a little better recently but not as well as he used too and the steady increase in his work load had really been taking its toll on him. Thankfully he only had two full days left before filming would be over for his drama, he was sad about it since he had genuinely enjoyed the experience, but he was also a little relieved at not having to see that girl on a daily basis anymore.
Things had been perfectly civil between them on set, though not quite as comfortable as before, and both their other cast mates and the press had picked up on that, leading to endless headlines in gossip magazines about the fragile state of their ‘relationship’.
Another thing to be glad for was that he wouldn’t have to juggle drama filming and concert preparations like Taguchi did. Taguchi’s drama had begun filming two weeks ago and Ueda felt a little sorry for him that it wouldn’t be over until after the start of their tour. It wasn’t the first time any of them had filming at the same time as concerts, but that didn’t mean it was easy.
“How are you holding up?” Koki asked, plopping down into the seat beside him and almost spilling the drinks he was carrying. “How about some nice, fresh, filter coffee?” he grimaced, handing one of the paper cups to Ueda.
“Thanks” he snorted but it was better than nothing and he took a small sip, face only scrunching a little at the bitterness.
“Kame and Maru went out to get some decent drinks…and I think we’re going to order in some pizza after this next one.”
Ueda nodded “What is it now?”
“Set list discussion…then we have the costume people coming in to measure us and throw some ideas around.”
“It’s going to be a long day” Ueda groaned, it was only the early afternoon but he knew what the costume designers were like, they’d probably be here all night.
“You both seem to be doing better these days…I know things aren’t ideal, but…”
Ueda nodded “You know it’s been more than six months since we broke up…” he smiled a little bitterly, remembering his earlier thoughts concerning today’s date. “Actually…this time a year ago the thought of sleeping with him hadn’t even crossed my mind…but just a few hours later and…it was so stupid, I wasn’t even attracted to him, I was pissed at him…”
Koki laughed a little, but there were traces of pity in his expression “It’s not like you could have known this would happen…”
“I think Kame did…he warned us plenty enough, but we were just so sure we were right…”
“That’s because you’re so stubborn”
He nodded “Yeah, thanks Koki” and he lay his head back down against the table, he’d been thinking about it too much today. It felt like a lifetime ago that they were sneaking around in hotels, crushing mouths together in desperate kisses, bodies melding together in blissful perfection.
He glanced across the room at Taguchi, tucked away in a quiet corner, his headphones in and a script in his hand. His heart leapt in his chest when the eyes across from him flicked up, their gazes locking momentarily until they both turned away.
The room was suddenly feeling surprisingly hot and Ueda stood up ungracefully, mumbling something about fresh air as he made his way to the door.
He didn’t know where he was going, or why he’d suddenly needed to get away, the things he was trying to get away from were inside his head after all, flashes of images, memories, Taguchi’s playful grin hovering above him, leaning in for a kiss.
He shook his head, it wasn’t helping, he couldn’t do this. He noticed a bathroom just ahead and he headed towards that, storming straight into a cubicle and locking the door. He leaned back against the wall, his shaky breaths coming out too loud, echoing in the small tiled room as he tried to resist the onslaught of images, Taguchi’s gentle words as he pushed his fingers in and out of him.
He put a hand on his chest as though it might calm his hammering heart, as though it might keep the rest of him from falling apart. He wanted nothing more than for Taguchi to come after him, to whisper sweet encouraging words into his ear and to wrap him in strong arms, holding him together.
He let out a frustrated grunt, kicking at the wall opposite him as he rested his head back on the one behind him. It was stupid, to need him so much now, to need the one person that had done this to him, that had left him in this state. That wasn’t quite right either though, he’d been the one to say it first…the one to admit they’d gone too far, he was the one who ended it.
He wondered briefly where they would be now if he’d never said it, if they’d continued pretending, would it have lasted this long? Would they have still spent Christmas in each other’s arms, hushed moans spilling into each other’s mouths as they tasted sweet perfection in the way their bodies connected.
Would Taguchi be here with him now, lips hard and urgent against his own, their hips grinding together to find that little piece of heaven before they needed to head back to work. Just the thought had him hardening, and he cringed with how messed up it was, but now that those gates had been opened he could think of nothing else.
He quickly unfastened his trousers, pushing them roughly down to mid-thigh in desperation to alleviate some of this tension. He wrapped a firm hand around himself, stroking hard, thrusting his hips into his own hand as he thought of Taguchi, his firm muscles, the feel of his skin as Ueda clung to his shoulders, legs splayed out, giving himself over completely. The soft grunts and moans Taguchi made coming alive in his ears, his husky lust-laden voice, and the sweet words he was so desperate to hear ‘I love you’.
He only just managed to reach for some toilet paper before he was spilling over, his body shaking as the echo of his own cry settled in the air around him. He took a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and wishing more than anything that the ground would swallow him up.
But when his eyes opened he was still there, in the dingy little bathroom stall, sticky white fluid half caught and half dribbling over his hand, and he felt ashamed of what he’d done. He wiped his hand quickly before throwing the tissue into the toilet and flushing it, re-fastening and adjusting his clothes before stepping out of the stall.
He was thankful that at least he was still alone, and he walked over to the sink, washing his hands thoroughly, even taking off his ring to ensure it was cleaned properly before placing it back on his finger.
He glanced at himself in the mirror in front of him, taking in the flushed cheeks, the dark bags under his eyes, and the eyes themselves, still looking empty. He shook his head in disappointment with himself, and then splashed water over his face to wake him up a little before heading back to the meeting room.
Chapter 11 | Chapter 13
--------------------------------------------------
Points to racanai who predicted that something would happen on the anniversary of their first time...even if it's not quite what you might have expected >_<