doom

[theshiversbaby]

Things that doom your relationship:

1. Matching tattoos, or a tattoo of the other's initials by either partner
2. Cutesy matching outfits worn to any kind of holiday or theme party, especially if said party is an office party. Costumes involving Paris Hilton, Ron Jeremy, or Tom Cruise from Risky Business are acceptable, but marginally so

Comments

[andyh3000]

1. Matching tattoos, or a tattoo of the other's initials by either partner

No shit, one of my best friends got her boyfriend's initials right above her, um, snatch after a few years of love and talking about marriage, but then he went to Japan to study, got all coked out and dumped her. I'm not sure if she's been able to eradicate the tattoo yet, but I just thought I'd leave my testimonial to the truth of at least one of those rules.

[theshiversbaby]

And just think of all the celebrity examples! Johnny Depp having "WINONA" tattooed across his back, only to change it to "WINO" after they broke up. Billy Bob and Angelina. Pamela Anderson and/or Tommy Lee? Probably.

[solvinate]

Then they couldn't break up or the world is doomed!

[theshiversbaby]

Heh.

I just meant romantic relationships. Speaking of, though, do Batman and Catwoman ever "do it"? (winkwink) They don't really have supernatural powers, though. At least not Batman.

Maybe the Captain Planet rings were PROMISE RINGS! "With this ring, I promise that I will do my best to BRING POLLUTION DOWN TO ZERO! FUCK YAH!"

[iamjustjules]

monogamy isnt impossible as much as it is... unlikely at certain times. that's why my motto is "you may not be my one and only, but you are my number one"

but that's just BS, lauryn hill hasnt come into my area yet, so i'm pretty happy with number 2 or 3 or 4 or even 8

[theshiversbaby]

The only time I've ever cheated on someone is when I was 14 and had a lot of growing up to do. I still have growing up to do. But thankfully nowhere near as much as I did then. Anyways, for me, difficulty with monogamy was something I grew out of. I don't know if I'm in the majority, though. I think many people do not wish to be monogamous or just aren't wired that way, and with them it has absolutely nothing to do with maturity or even morality; it's just their personality.

Monogamy rings, though...now that's silly.

[iamjustjules]

i can understand that. i've always followed the ideal that if you both havent talked about being exclusive, then it's not cheating.

cheating is perceived differently by different parties, so some people might say "sex", and others say "kissing" or "feelings" i've just always thought it was something you didnt want the other person to know about

luckily i've never followed that temptation into the valley of lose-your-penis-a-la-lorena-bobbit-ness, cos, well, you cant say "oops, i accidentally tripped and fell into some girl whilst naked

i wonder if it counts if it's with the same sex though... cos you know, 2 negatives make a positve or comething... like, all those balls kinda cancel each other out? i'll have to find that out someday

[theshiversbaby]

I definitely have the same idea/definition when it comes to cheating being something you wouldn't want the other person to know about. That's helped me figure things out in the past. If you can stop for a second and say - would I feel fine telling my girlfriend/boyfriend about what I'm about to do/say? you can learn a lot about yourself and about loyalty. also, i sometimes ask myself, would i be pissed off if daniel did this and i found out about it? simple-minded, but it works.

[girlandagun]

I feel like this is unquestionably material to comment upon in our column.

Tacky tacky tacky.