too damn bad, you get so far so fast.
Watch out folks ... I'm a' reflectin' --
Ok so I've found the perfect song, the one that sums up everything I'm feeling. It's really great to hear someone else say everything you feel, makes you feel a little more sane...
She grabs her magazines
She packs her things and she goes
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall, she burns all
Her notes and she knows, she’s been here too few years
To feel this old
He smokes his cigarette, he stays outside ’til it’s gone
If anybody ever had a heart, he wouldn’t be alone
He knows, she’s been here too few years, to be gone
And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there’s nothing there to make things change
If it’s the same for you I’ll just hang
The trouble understand, is she got reasons he don’t
Funny how he couldn’t see at all, ’til she
Grabbed up her coat
And she goes, she’s been here too few years to take it all in stride
But still it’s much too long, to let the hurt go (you let her go)
And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there’s nothing there to make things change
If it’s the same for you I’ll just hang
The same for you
I’ll always hang
Well I always say, it would be good to go
Away
But if things don’t work out like we think
And there’s nothing here to ease the ache
But it there’s nothing there to make things change
If it’s the same for you I’ll just hang
Particularly this line "Well I always say, it would be good to go
away. But if things don’t work out like we think, and there’s nothing here to ease the ache, but if there’s nothing there to make things change, if it’s the same for you I’ll just hang"
That's just so me. I've spent years saying how much I want to get the hell away from where I am. Just for the sake of being somewhere else. To be on my own. To keep my sanity. To be my own person. A whole page full of reasons. But now that the time has come, it's different. I'm so afraid that everything I ever wanted wont turn out to be anything close to what I thought it was. A part of me is tempted just to stay here, because part of me isn't ready to leave. Then there's that whole problem, if I stay I'm also afraid that I'll never leave. It seems so fucking ridiculous that I'm 18. That I'm an adult. 18 or not, I don't feel as grown up as I think I should, as I thought I would. Staying here just seems safe. But I know that I'll regret that, I always regret doing the safe thing. And leaving when I was 18 has been what I've wanted since I was like 12. I'm just finally starting to feel the gravity of it all, I think. The fact that I'm about a month away from being done with high school forever, and that I'll be in college a few months after that. I'll live there for 4 years and then I'm on my own. Completely on my own. It's just such a terrifying thought. I don't remember what I saw in this whole independence thing to begin with, haha, well I do ... and I still want it, but I think I've definetly romanticized it some. To think that I've spent so much time wishing I could just GROW UP, not be "a kid", and I've finally gotten there - this is all so foriegn, I guess I thought it would come more naturally. I don't want to stay in this town, hell I don't even want to stay in this state. But what am I supposed to do? Pack everything up when I'm 22 and move to a new town, a new state where I know no one? I never even thought twice about that being exactly what I wanted. Until now. It's funny when I look back I was so much braver when I was little, I would run outside without fear of falling down - and even if I did, I didn't care. I thougt scrapes and bruises were cool. Made me look tough or something. I broke things, had stitches, I wasn't afraid of bugs, or worms, or climbing tree's. And you know what? I had fun. I can't remember the last time I had just straight out fun, without fear of consequences.
On a less depressing anecdote, I was reading this old article/interview with Roseanne, Laurie Metcalf & Sara Gilbert - anyone who watches the show knows that original Becky had pretty long hair and then it got REALLY short. Well, apparently she wanted to cut it but the producers, or someone, told her that she had to keep it long. So Roseanne took a pair of scissors to her hair and cut it off to her ears, then she told Lecy [the actress who played Becky] just to tell the producers that she [Roseanne] had done it. Fantastically cool.
Ok so I've found the perfect song, the one that sums up everything I'm feeling. It's really great to hear someone else say everything you feel, makes you feel a little more sane...
She grabs her magazines
She packs her things and she goes
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall, she burns all
Her notes and she knows, she’s been here too few years
To feel this old
He smokes his cigarette, he stays outside ’til it’s gone
If anybody ever had a heart, he wouldn’t be alone
He knows, she’s been here too few years, to be gone
And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there’s nothing there to make things change
If it’s the same for you I’ll just hang
The trouble understand, is she got reasons he don’t
Funny how he couldn’t see at all, ’til she
Grabbed up her coat
And she goes, she’s been here too few years to take it all in stride
But still it’s much too long, to let the hurt go (you let her go)
And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there’s nothing there to make things change
If it’s the same for you I’ll just hang
The same for you
I’ll always hang
Well I always say, it would be good to go
Away
But if things don’t work out like we think
And there’s nothing here to ease the ache
But it there’s nothing there to make things change
If it’s the same for you I’ll just hang
Particularly this line "Well I always say, it would be good to go
away. But if things don’t work out like we think, and there’s nothing here to ease the ache, but if there’s nothing there to make things change, if it’s the same for you I’ll just hang"
That's just so me. I've spent years saying how much I want to get the hell away from where I am. Just for the sake of being somewhere else. To be on my own. To keep my sanity. To be my own person. A whole page full of reasons. But now that the time has come, it's different. I'm so afraid that everything I ever wanted wont turn out to be anything close to what I thought it was. A part of me is tempted just to stay here, because part of me isn't ready to leave. Then there's that whole problem, if I stay I'm also afraid that I'll never leave. It seems so fucking ridiculous that I'm 18. That I'm an adult. 18 or not, I don't feel as grown up as I think I should, as I thought I would. Staying here just seems safe. But I know that I'll regret that, I always regret doing the safe thing. And leaving when I was 18 has been what I've wanted since I was like 12. I'm just finally starting to feel the gravity of it all, I think. The fact that I'm about a month away from being done with high school forever, and that I'll be in college a few months after that. I'll live there for 4 years and then I'm on my own. Completely on my own. It's just such a terrifying thought. I don't remember what I saw in this whole independence thing to begin with, haha, well I do ... and I still want it, but I think I've definetly romanticized it some. To think that I've spent so much time wishing I could just GROW UP, not be "a kid", and I've finally gotten there - this is all so foriegn, I guess I thought it would come more naturally. I don't want to stay in this town, hell I don't even want to stay in this state. But what am I supposed to do? Pack everything up when I'm 22 and move to a new town, a new state where I know no one? I never even thought twice about that being exactly what I wanted. Until now. It's funny when I look back I was so much braver when I was little, I would run outside without fear of falling down - and even if I did, I didn't care. I thougt scrapes and bruises were cool. Made me look tough or something. I broke things, had stitches, I wasn't afraid of bugs, or worms, or climbing tree's. And you know what? I had fun. I can't remember the last time I had just straight out fun, without fear of consequences.
On a less depressing anecdote, I was reading this old article/interview with Roseanne, Laurie Metcalf & Sara Gilbert - anyone who watches the show knows that original Becky had pretty long hair and then it got REALLY short. Well, apparently she wanted to cut it but the producers, or someone, told her that she had to keep it long. So Roseanne took a pair of scissors to her hair and cut it off to her ears, then she told Lecy [the actress who played Becky] just to tell the producers that she [Roseanne] had done it. Fantastically cool.