back from the belt
what happens when you take a bunch of christians, put them in a big
field in middle england, pummel their senses with every aspect of
post-modern art, music, theatre, comedy and mindblowing presentations
to make even the most illiberal of evangelicals think twice about the
monotony of twenty first century earth?
shortly after five in the morning on a cold thursday morning and a silver fiesta in hurtling towards the international airport where our intrepid bandit will take the first flight of the day to bristol with a young man called john who will be the newest addition to the staff or christian aid ireland as a new gap year volunteer now that thesneakybandit has moved on to pastures new. flight attendants with faces as orange as their uniforms grin inanely for the duration of the journey to bristol from where the two young men are whisked off by bus through the hot and sticky city towards the cool luxurious surroundings of cheltenham. tents are pitched in blustery conditions and work begins on the construction of christian aid’s ‘tree of life’ themed venue. more volunteers arrive throughout the day and by early evening the bandit has met the girl who he will go on to fall in love with. tiredness sets in early though and the entire team have an early night before the festival kicks off.
daylight breaks through the light blue canopy of a spacious three man tent where thesneakybandit is sleeping alone this year. around the racecourse circuit bleary eyed volunteers behin another days work to prepare for the greenbelt experience. it’s the first day of the festival and much work still needs done even though most of the day is taken up by team building and training. the newbies learn the ins and outs of make poverty history and the trade justice campaign while the older hands grimace at team building exercises as old as time itself. by tea time every one is up to speed, the venue is fully fitted and furnished and the festival kicks off. the festival kicks off with thesneakybandit looking after a resources stall that christian aid have foolishly forgotten to resource so an hour is wasted gathering up bits and pieces and arranging them nicely in the emporium which is a large red tent bedecked with white stars and full of every aid agency and holy organization known to man along with the heat of a sauna. jim moray is on main stage as the emporium stint finishes and although he looks like a slightly older emo brat he’s got charisma, soul, a nice voice and some pretty decent tunes. some eating, getting acquainted with the site and chatting to the girl he would later fall in love with fills out the bandit’s evening until iain archer graces the main stage. kicking off with ‘summer jets’ and getting into ‘pressure drop’ only a few songs into the set before the christian aid party kicks off with some complimentary drinks. some of the team have been enjoying the weird and wonderful concoctions from the organic bar. the 7.4% organic cider is a firm favourite. drinks are drunk and banter is banted before a select few check out ‘the club’ for the some gospel house tunes along side us garage beats. middle of the road indie and banging beats washed down with ethical booze. nice start.
dry mouths, blurry vision and hat hair... or waking up in a tent with a hangover as it will become known starts off the saturday greenbelt experience. it may well only be seven thirty but the greenbelt day starts early and ends late. there’s a bunch of youth workers hungry for information, resources, free stuff and croissants, tea coffee and oj. two hours later, thesneakybandit has finished feeding their every whim and chills out in the ymca tent to the early morning emo-rawk of a young band called simple reason. they’re good but at eleven in the morning the ears require something a little more gentile and words that you can understand. the indoor second stage is home for an hour to national heroes, consisting of the kennedy brothers formerly of split the sky, five dollar soul and various other bands from the north coast. their like a big fat melting pot (© richard bacon 2005) of the libertines, the clash, idlewild and rem fronted by the lovechild of michael stipe and jake shears. yes, they are that good! no time for lunch as the day marches on with preparations for youth workshops on making poverty history closely followed by the horribly under prepared workshop itself. thesneakybandit then retires to the volunteer tent for some free tea and biscuits and a wee chat with the girl who he is quickly falling in love with! an hour or so later it’s time to man that resources stall again in the hot hot heat of the emporium before quickly devouring some japanese noodles and checking out the uber cool, bluesy, dirty riffs and delicate, david gray-like piano that is john davis. there’s more time to be spent in the volunteer tent and the organic bar for another couple of pints while an eight year old kid amazes us with card tricks and the fact that he can play boulevard of broken dreams on the guitar. it gets nippy around the racecourse at a certain hour of the night so the darkness of the humid stage two looks appealing for the cinematic underground followed by the amazing pilots who are indeed amazing. iain archer and a traveling troupe of musicians john the wilkinson brothers on stage for a selection of great songs from ‘hello my captor’. how should such a day end... well at greenbelt the obvious answer is to knock back a pint of organic ale and attend a midnight goth worship service. yes, that’s right a goth worship service!
sunday morning at greenbelt is almost what could be called mainstream worship. well if you could call having a communion of pringles and ribena on a hillside baking in the sun while listening to andy flannagan lead worship... sunday lunch of the non-roast and vegetables variety consisted of sweet, sticky crepes before it was time to prepare some workshops and run some sessions on hiv for the wee kids. during a semi drunk conversation thesneakybandit and his old co-worker andy had decided that speed dating looked like a comedy way to while away a sunday evening, although the bandit decided to get a tan and a temporary tattoo instead of signing up. andy signed up and after a couple more pints of healthily organic booze it was time to sign the night away. the end of beth rowley’s set in the performance café looked dull, uber-holy and way too smiley-blonde-americana for thesneakybandit to keep down his vegetarian enchiladas but still gave a chance for a rare conversation with one of the rest of the large belfast crew who had graced cheltenham with their presence. it was then back to work for another shift in the emporium before the impending doom of the speed date. nneither of our young heroes had done this kind of thing before and it was all rather amusing, lighthearted, banterful and generally good clean fun. all the guys and girls from the iona community had turned up and sime of the girls were pretty darned cute. the girl who thesneakybandit had been progressively falling in love with was not in attendance although had flirtaciously indicated that she may come and watch. andy and thesneakybandit met up with a couple of the girls in the other on-site bae for a while before heading back to their tent for a couple of bottles of red wine and some jamaican ginger cake. then it was back to the bar for some more celtic fun as the irish and scottish contingent tried to teach their ‘foreign’ languages to some tipsy english girls. the drum-n-bass night had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. the genre has now been officially re-christened bum-in-face! so unfortunately it was back to the organic bar to get down to some motown grooves and finish off iona mark’s bottle of malibu. four a.m. is bedtime!
seven a.m. is back to work time serving up another delectable youth worker’s breakfast before putting in another hour in the pulse. at least the christian aid café would provide the hangover solice thesneakybandit needed for a little while. the bandit was chilling out when the girl he was by now pretty much in love with asked him to go with her around the don mccullin photography exhibition and then check out ‘pulp’ the christian comic book exhibition which quite frankly was shite. the final session in the mix was leading a session on conflict for the kids and thesneakybandit told a heart-shredding story about a sierra leonean boy during the country’s civil war. the warm sunshine and soft grass outside the performance café was a good mid afternoon sleeping spot while don mccullin serenaded the bandit and the two girls from the previous night’s red-wine shenanigans. the peace was shattered by an hour of babysitting the eight year old card-sharp and guitar genius although we did manage to help andy flanagan pack away the mythical yellow brick road. if you didn’t know better that last sentence would probably indicate that some sort of drugs had been consumed but at greenbelt it’s just a normal part of the day. after a bland spot of normality what could be better than dreadlocks, eyeliner, purple trousers, an egg whisk, a guy who looked like johnny depp, the broadest belfast accent on site and a whole hour of top tunes. duke special on the main stage at last. brilliance, sheer unadulterated fucking brilliance and an accapella un-microphoned rendition of ‘you are my sunshine’ to stop the crowd rioting at the end of the set. the emporium venue is cleared up ready for the end of the festival and duke special signs the bandit’s copy of the album while the bandit and rea reminisce about sleeping in the airport after greenbelt ’04. more noodles are consumed with a beer or two and some funky moves are busted to the subliminal sounds or radio one’s giles peterson. christian aid wrap up the festival by speeches and free beer and wine for all the volunteers and the motown reggae boogie-fest provided by ‘jazz jamaica’ up at the main stage. afterwards the bandit meets up with a few old mates from university, two randomly lovely young ladies who give us free cigarettes, the duke special crew and what appears to be the entire congregation of city church/common grounds. where on earth could all these thirty or so belfastians be on the last night of the festival? at the bring your own booze and fags party in the organic bar. it winds down at around three o’clock and the bandit fleetingly remembers that he only had three full hours sleep the night before.
the last day incorporates running out of money completely stranded in england, riding on a tractor with a giant baobab tree sculpture, enjoying milkshakes from shake king where we listen to queen and contemplate what exactly a weetabix flavoured shake with chili powder topping would taste like, rididng buses with the fellow iris, sleeping outside the airport and finally flying home. a pretty normal day by greenbelt standards. what could top such a great day. the bandit’s love interest sends a text to one of her friends asking her to pass on her email address so the sneaky one can stay in touch. awwwwwwwwww.
shortly after five in the morning on a cold thursday morning and a silver fiesta in hurtling towards the international airport where our intrepid bandit will take the first flight of the day to bristol with a young man called john who will be the newest addition to the staff or christian aid ireland as a new gap year volunteer now that thesneakybandit has moved on to pastures new. flight attendants with faces as orange as their uniforms grin inanely for the duration of the journey to bristol from where the two young men are whisked off by bus through the hot and sticky city towards the cool luxurious surroundings of cheltenham. tents are pitched in blustery conditions and work begins on the construction of christian aid’s ‘tree of life’ themed venue. more volunteers arrive throughout the day and by early evening the bandit has met the girl who he will go on to fall in love with. tiredness sets in early though and the entire team have an early night before the festival kicks off.
daylight breaks through the light blue canopy of a spacious three man tent where thesneakybandit is sleeping alone this year. around the racecourse circuit bleary eyed volunteers behin another days work to prepare for the greenbelt experience. it’s the first day of the festival and much work still needs done even though most of the day is taken up by team building and training. the newbies learn the ins and outs of make poverty history and the trade justice campaign while the older hands grimace at team building exercises as old as time itself. by tea time every one is up to speed, the venue is fully fitted and furnished and the festival kicks off. the festival kicks off with thesneakybandit looking after a resources stall that christian aid have foolishly forgotten to resource so an hour is wasted gathering up bits and pieces and arranging them nicely in the emporium which is a large red tent bedecked with white stars and full of every aid agency and holy organization known to man along with the heat of a sauna. jim moray is on main stage as the emporium stint finishes and although he looks like a slightly older emo brat he’s got charisma, soul, a nice voice and some pretty decent tunes. some eating, getting acquainted with the site and chatting to the girl he would later fall in love with fills out the bandit’s evening until iain archer graces the main stage. kicking off with ‘summer jets’ and getting into ‘pressure drop’ only a few songs into the set before the christian aid party kicks off with some complimentary drinks. some of the team have been enjoying the weird and wonderful concoctions from the organic bar. the 7.4% organic cider is a firm favourite. drinks are drunk and banter is banted before a select few check out ‘the club’ for the some gospel house tunes along side us garage beats. middle of the road indie and banging beats washed down with ethical booze. nice start.
dry mouths, blurry vision and hat hair... or waking up in a tent with a hangover as it will become known starts off the saturday greenbelt experience. it may well only be seven thirty but the greenbelt day starts early and ends late. there’s a bunch of youth workers hungry for information, resources, free stuff and croissants, tea coffee and oj. two hours later, thesneakybandit has finished feeding their every whim and chills out in the ymca tent to the early morning emo-rawk of a young band called simple reason. they’re good but at eleven in the morning the ears require something a little more gentile and words that you can understand. the indoor second stage is home for an hour to national heroes, consisting of the kennedy brothers formerly of split the sky, five dollar soul and various other bands from the north coast. their like a big fat melting pot (© richard bacon 2005) of the libertines, the clash, idlewild and rem fronted by the lovechild of michael stipe and jake shears. yes, they are that good! no time for lunch as the day marches on with preparations for youth workshops on making poverty history closely followed by the horribly under prepared workshop itself. thesneakybandit then retires to the volunteer tent for some free tea and biscuits and a wee chat with the girl who he is quickly falling in love with! an hour or so later it’s time to man that resources stall again in the hot hot heat of the emporium before quickly devouring some japanese noodles and checking out the uber cool, bluesy, dirty riffs and delicate, david gray-like piano that is john davis. there’s more time to be spent in the volunteer tent and the organic bar for another couple of pints while an eight year old kid amazes us with card tricks and the fact that he can play boulevard of broken dreams on the guitar. it gets nippy around the racecourse at a certain hour of the night so the darkness of the humid stage two looks appealing for the cinematic underground followed by the amazing pilots who are indeed amazing. iain archer and a traveling troupe of musicians john the wilkinson brothers on stage for a selection of great songs from ‘hello my captor’. how should such a day end... well at greenbelt the obvious answer is to knock back a pint of organic ale and attend a midnight goth worship service. yes, that’s right a goth worship service!
sunday morning at greenbelt is almost what could be called mainstream worship. well if you could call having a communion of pringles and ribena on a hillside baking in the sun while listening to andy flannagan lead worship... sunday lunch of the non-roast and vegetables variety consisted of sweet, sticky crepes before it was time to prepare some workshops and run some sessions on hiv for the wee kids. during a semi drunk conversation thesneakybandit and his old co-worker andy had decided that speed dating looked like a comedy way to while away a sunday evening, although the bandit decided to get a tan and a temporary tattoo instead of signing up. andy signed up and after a couple more pints of healthily organic booze it was time to sign the night away. the end of beth rowley’s set in the performance café looked dull, uber-holy and way too smiley-blonde-americana for thesneakybandit to keep down his vegetarian enchiladas but still gave a chance for a rare conversation with one of the rest of the large belfast crew who had graced cheltenham with their presence. it was then back to work for another shift in the emporium before the impending doom of the speed date. nneither of our young heroes had done this kind of thing before and it was all rather amusing, lighthearted, banterful and generally good clean fun. all the guys and girls from the iona community had turned up and sime of the girls were pretty darned cute. the girl who thesneakybandit had been progressively falling in love with was not in attendance although had flirtaciously indicated that she may come and watch. andy and thesneakybandit met up with a couple of the girls in the other on-site bae for a while before heading back to their tent for a couple of bottles of red wine and some jamaican ginger cake. then it was back to the bar for some more celtic fun as the irish and scottish contingent tried to teach their ‘foreign’ languages to some tipsy english girls. the drum-n-bass night had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. the genre has now been officially re-christened bum-in-face! so unfortunately it was back to the organic bar to get down to some motown grooves and finish off iona mark’s bottle of malibu. four a.m. is bedtime!
seven a.m. is back to work time serving up another delectable youth worker’s breakfast before putting in another hour in the pulse. at least the christian aid café would provide the hangover solice thesneakybandit needed for a little while. the bandit was chilling out when the girl he was by now pretty much in love with asked him to go with her around the don mccullin photography exhibition and then check out ‘pulp’ the christian comic book exhibition which quite frankly was shite. the final session in the mix was leading a session on conflict for the kids and thesneakybandit told a heart-shredding story about a sierra leonean boy during the country’s civil war. the warm sunshine and soft grass outside the performance café was a good mid afternoon sleeping spot while don mccullin serenaded the bandit and the two girls from the previous night’s red-wine shenanigans. the peace was shattered by an hour of babysitting the eight year old card-sharp and guitar genius although we did manage to help andy flanagan pack away the mythical yellow brick road. if you didn’t know better that last sentence would probably indicate that some sort of drugs had been consumed but at greenbelt it’s just a normal part of the day. after a bland spot of normality what could be better than dreadlocks, eyeliner, purple trousers, an egg whisk, a guy who looked like johnny depp, the broadest belfast accent on site and a whole hour of top tunes. duke special on the main stage at last. brilliance, sheer unadulterated fucking brilliance and an accapella un-microphoned rendition of ‘you are my sunshine’ to stop the crowd rioting at the end of the set. the emporium venue is cleared up ready for the end of the festival and duke special signs the bandit’s copy of the album while the bandit and rea reminisce about sleeping in the airport after greenbelt ’04. more noodles are consumed with a beer or two and some funky moves are busted to the subliminal sounds or radio one’s giles peterson. christian aid wrap up the festival by speeches and free beer and wine for all the volunteers and the motown reggae boogie-fest provided by ‘jazz jamaica’ up at the main stage. afterwards the bandit meets up with a few old mates from university, two randomly lovely young ladies who give us free cigarettes, the duke special crew and what appears to be the entire congregation of city church/common grounds. where on earth could all these thirty or so belfastians be on the last night of the festival? at the bring your own booze and fags party in the organic bar. it winds down at around three o’clock and the bandit fleetingly remembers that he only had three full hours sleep the night before.
the last day incorporates running out of money completely stranded in england, riding on a tractor with a giant baobab tree sculpture, enjoying milkshakes from shake king where we listen to queen and contemplate what exactly a weetabix flavoured shake with chili powder topping would taste like, rididng buses with the fellow iris, sleeping outside the airport and finally flying home. a pretty normal day by greenbelt standards. what could top such a great day. the bandit’s love interest sends a text to one of her friends asking her to pass on her email address so the sneaky one can stay in touch. awwwwwwwwww.