[Fic] I Can’t Feel My Face When I’m With You

[thesockmonster]

Title: I Can’t Feel My Face When I’m With You
Rating: R (mostly to be safe)
Pairing: Luhan/Minseok (side pairings: various)
Setting & Trope: Hell Romcom
Genre: romance
Warnings: non-mainstream religious interpretations, Hell (and all things this could encompass)
Length: 12k
Author's Note: written for exoficpalette
Summary: As Head Demon, Luhan is responsible for a lot - including misplaced souls who should be in Heaven.



In retrospect, if Luhan had known the workload that was about to be placed on his shoulders, he'd have refused the promotion. As it is, the amount of paperwork alone is enough to sink him straight to the deepest inferno in Hell and that's not something he's too keen on. His desk is absolutely swamped and he can't even tell who it is that’s walking into his office because his entire view is blocked.

He knows previous management had dropped the ball on upgrading to computers, but even though everyone is now tasked with getting all the files in the shiny new database, it doesn't mean they can allow the newest files to go unattended. And that's what Luhan's dealing with. Miserably so.

"Are you purposely boxing yourself inside a tiny paper fortress or are visitors welcome?"

"That depends," Luhan quips, finally sitting up straight until his spine pops in several places. It feels amazing. "If you're here to add to the turrets, you're banned. Also, if you're here to make jibes at my position, you can stick that straight up your ass."

"But Luhan," comes Jongdae's purring voice just before he appears around the side of Luhan's desk. "You know how much I love shoving things up my ass." Jongdae rolls Luhan's chair from under the desk as Luhan watches with muted interest. "And this is one of my favorite positions," he adds, sitting directly on Luhan's lap.

Luhan rests his palms on Jongdae's thighs, aiding him in sliding forward as Jongdae rests his forearms on Luhan's shoulders. "So are you here as a distraction then?"

"Hardly," Jongdae scoffs even as he tips forward, teasing. Everything with Jongdae is teasing. “I’ve been dispatched to see how you’re faring and if you require assistance.”

“I doubt you’d be of any actual assistance,” Luhan scoffs, head falling to the side because Jongdae’s skimming his lips over his neck, breath hot over his skin.

Jongdae makes an amused noise in the back of his throat. “I’m not the one offering.”

Luhan should have figured that; Jongdae’s never been any good with anything that doesn’t require undressing. “So who is?’ Because honestly, Luhan could use some help before he ends up setting fire to the entire room and losing all their progress.

“Yixing.”

Luhan lets out a soft hiss, pushing Jongdae off his lap. “I’ll pass,” he says. “Now go find someone else to climb.”

Jongdae gives a heaving sigh, turning and swaying his hips as he leaves. He also knocks a stack of files from the edge of Luhan’s desk and Luhan is positively fuming. Steam spills from his ears and his eyes flare orange, flames licking inside him as he very nearly explodes and takes the entirety of the files with him. Luhan closes his eyes, pulling in a deep breath that he can feel heating in his lungs. When he exhales, it’s still steam, but not as hot. He counts down from ten in his head, bringing himself down to a calm state.

Losing his cool now would only delay progress.

Every time a new Satan takes up the throne, the entirety of Hell has to adjust to a new way of running things. The previous Satan had left an absolute mess behind that Jongin, the poor soul now roped into the job, is now trying to organize. His predecessor had been the slovenly, groping sort who cared more about fulfilling his own desires than keeping tabs on the occupants of Hell. Everything had gone to, well, worse than Hell under his reign.

That’s why everyone loves Jongin. He’d brought organization with him, along with a you-can-do-anything spirit that never seems to falter unless Kyungsoo is trying to get him out of bed. Luhan remembers questioning Jongin’s abilities when the replaced the ferryman, who’d been ushering the dead over the river Stix for several millennia, with a rainbow bridge that turns into a spiralling slide halfway across.

“Isn’t this a little . . . peppy for Hell?” Luhan had asked.

Jongin had looked hurt. “What’s wrong with a little pep before eternal damnation?”

It was only a bit of an exaggeration. Damnation isn’t eternal; at least, it’s not supposed to be. Hell isn’t forever for every soul. It’s more of a rehabilitation center. Damned souls who work off their dirty deeds can apply to be reborn on earth for another chance at Heaven. Sometimes they make it, and sometimes they take another tour of the pits.

Souls that are good enough to gain entry through Heaven’s gates can choose to be reborn on earth at any time they wish, although Luhan’s heard it’s a far easier process because they already have a functioning computer database.

The previous Satan never released rehabilitated souls into the world. The higher-ups have had to fashion a sort-of waiting room for them all to linger in while waiting to be processed, a mock Heaven. Jongin himself has been slogging through the backlog of releases with the help of Seulgi, a spiritual guide who helps with the journey into rebirth.

They’ve also been inundated with more and more souls who swear they were meant for Heaven. The thing is, humans have always taken the basic rules and interpreted them as something else to suit their own needs as if it would change the actual mandate and allow them into Heaven. Luhan applauds the arrogance, but they’re still bound for the flames. And there seem to be more and more of them sinking down by the day.

Luhan looks at the fallen files on the floor and wonders if any of the ghouls under Yifan would be of use. It’s better than no help at all.

“INCOMING!”

Luhan really hates it when Baekhyun yells that, but he never fails to herald the new arrivals that drift down into Hell’s lobby. Their near translucent state always freaks them out after having been alive for so long and some of them don’t quite make it to the polished black and white checkered tile floor, instead hovering just over it. Luhan would think Baekhyun would have a little more compassion for the poor lost, confused souls seeing as Baekhyun can still remember when he was a human, but Baekhyun’s never been the compassionate sort. That’s why he was sent down in the first place; and also why he was promoted so quickly.

As the overseer of all Demons - with a handful of exclusions, of course - Luhan’s presence is necessary for processing. He watches as Baekhyun saunters to the nearest soul, a sway in his hips and red tail swishing behind him, complete with a pointed end. Luhan sighs. Leave it to Baekhyun to encourage inaccurate stereotypes.

The large room they’re all gathered in has no visible doors and four solid walls of white. This newest batch of souls react no differently than all the ones before. There are the ones who immediately question where they are and how they got here. The demons all gathered to help process the souls field those questions easily, leaving Luhan to watch as several of the souls try to escape. They claw at the walls, bang their fists on the floor and even resort to threatening the other souls and demons if they don’t release them.

It’s always the same.

Some are quiet, some are loud, and some are demanding little shits that Luhan punches right in the face, watching with satisfaction as the soul stumbles back through several other souls before falling to the floor. The blow only hurt the soul because it doesn’t know that it’s dead. That’s why the souls all retain their human visage. It’s easiest, the most comfortable to take the form of what they looked like when they were alive. This particular soul is a portly man who probably spent his life giving orders and never taking them.

“Where are we?!” a female voice screams from the back.

Luhan stares at the group before him, letting a lazy smile crawl over his lips. “You’re in Hell,” he simply states. All the demons around the souls bow in unison, following Luhan’s lead. “I bid you welcome.”

It’s at this point that chaos breaks out. It never fails. He can understand. Hell isn’t where anyone wants to be once their mortal flame has been extinguished. It’s natural to fight it, and yet it will do no good. All their sins are locked in and can’t be altered until they work them off.

Amidst the uproar, the demons begin gathering up groups of souls, easily taking control of the soul so it's incapacitated and falls in line. Luhan watches as the demons each lead their own group of souls toward the walls where doors appear. They're being taken to the processing center to be added to the system. All of their files will appear on Luhan's desk and he's not looking forward to it.

With his job done, Luhan makes his way back to his own office. If luck is on his side, he'll be able to get through a stack of files, assigning the souls to the right departments for their sins, before the newest ones come in. Back when Luhan was the head of only the Lust department, all he had to do was give out appropriate punishments to every soul that was sent to him. It was easier.

Lust, directly, isn't a sin, but the actions it can cause often lead to a direct path downward. A man can lust for his secretary and remain good, but letting it rule him - fucking his secretary on his desk while his wife is at home taking care of the kids - will lead to damnation.

Luhan misses it. It's been a long time since he's gone to the surface. Now Sehun heads that office, hand picked by Luhan himself. And Sehun loves being the metaphorical secretary, chomping away at the soul while he's at it. As the head, Sehun doesn't get to disappear for days at a time to toy with a human like he used to, but Luhan knows he still goes up for a quick fix. Luhan used to do the same, but those days are over and Luhan is left antsy and frustrated.

Perhaps once he's caught up on all these files, he can take a brief respite. It'd be wonderful to indulge in his talents and lure some poor soul into the darkness through carnal pleasures. Luhan could always go to Jongdae, or even Sehun if he wanted, but they all - Luhan included - prefer humans over each other. Human souls are sweeter and they leave an aftertaste that lingers. Luhan can feel himself heating up just at the thought.

"Master," comes a purring voice from the doorway.

Luhan can't see Baekhyun, but there's no mistaking that sound. Baekhyun only uses that tone with that word when there's something he wants. Or if he's trying to get out of trouble. It has a shiver crawling up Luhan's spine. "I'm busy," Luhan grunts, not looking up from the file in front of him.

The soul in this particular file led quite the life; he dabbled in nearly every sin. He's going to have quite the journey, working off one sin at a time as he moves through the departments.

"But there's a problem," Baekhyun says after walking around so Luhan can see him. There's a file clutched tight in Baekhyun's fingers and Luhan sighs, holding out his hand to take it.

It can't be that much of an issue.

Luhan flips it open and, "oh." So maybe there's a slight issue. This soul shouldn't be in Hell. Not at all.

It happens; not often, but it happens.. Sometimes a soul bound for Hell and a soul meant for Heaven get tangled together on the surface after leaving their bodies, and usually the weight of the damned soul drags them both down and Hell is left with one soul it shouldn't have.

"Take him to the waiting room," Luhan tells Baekhyun. "I'll be there shortly to handle it."

Hopefully it won't take much time to get it sorted. All he needs to do is verify the soul is definitely not supposed to be theirs and pass the file along to Jongin and he'll get it taken care of. Luhan would have Baekhyun take the file directly to Jongin, but there's no telling where Jongin is and Jongin's loyal guard, Kyungsoo, is usually less than willing to disclose such information unless needed.

It just adds one extra thing for Luhan to do.

Luhan is a little starstruck.

Jongdae is more amused than he should be.

Luhan had walked into the waiting room, expecting to see the soul waiting for him, but what he got was Jongdae trying to make himself at home on the soul's lap. He'd cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at Jongdae with his arms crossed over his chest until the demon slithered his way off the poor soul and over to Luhan's side.

"Attempting to seduce him now isn't going to change the status of his soul," Luhan had chided.

"Oh I know that," Jongdae had waved off. "But he's hot."

Luhan had looked. And stared. And now he's sunk. Hot isn't the word he'd use to describe the lost soul sitting in there in an orange plastic chair, waiting to be put where he belongs. He’s still retains the image of the clothing he wore when he passed on - a loose tank-top that shows off a lot of skin on his sides, and a pair of dark skinny jeans that showcase muscled thighs. Luhan makes this soft whining noise in his throat when the soul glances over at him and Jongdae barks out a laugh.

What Luhan sees is perfection in its purest form. And it has nothing to do with the goodness that radiates from this soul. Luhan is drawn to him, walking over with as sincere a smile on his face as he can.

The soul blinks up at him, returning the smile and Luhan's long dead heart rolls over in his chest. "Hello," the soul greets, perfect pink lips molding around the syllables.

Luhan's tongue is glued to the roof of his mouth. He's being pulled in by sparkling brown eyes and his mind has gone completely blank. Behind him, Jongdae is snickering none too quietly. Luhan would turn to scowl at Jongdae, but that would mean pulling his gaze from the most perfect soul to have ever existed in the history of ever.

It’s a good thing Luhan doesn’t require breathing to exist because he’s lost the ability to function.

“I was told there was a mix up,” the soul continues. “Is this true?” He tilts his head, dark strands of hair swaying in his eyes and Luhan might be on the verge of imploding. Can demons implode? Would the remnants of his very being scatter into oblivion with no hope of ever coalescing to lay eyes on this wondrous sight again? Is he truly so doomed?

"Yes," Jongdae answers for Luhan, sliding up to his side.

Luhan has a soft spot for Jongdae - always has - but he's not entirely sure he likes the way Jongdae is nuzzling himself into Luhan's side, an arm around Luhan's waist.

"And our Luhan here is in charge. He will get it all worked out for you, handsome."

Jongdae is flirting and Luhan growls low in his throat.

"Alright, alright," Jongdae sing-songs, backing away with his hands up in feigned innocence. "No more fraternizing with the enemy." Jongdae pops out of the room, leaving it glaringly empty save for Luhan and the soul who was clearly sent here to test the limits of his sanity.

"Enemy?" the soul chuckles. "Am I behind enemy lines then?"

Luhan swallows down the noise that was fighting to escape, and instead clears this throat. "So to speak," he answers, quite proud at how steady his voice comes out. "No one here will harm you, though. There'd be no point."

"So you're in charge," the soul states, standing from his seat.

Luhan can't help the way his eyes feast on the visage before him. "I am," he replies, licking over his parched lips. "You may call me Luhan." Luhan's mind helpfully supplies him with all the other names this delectable soul could call him, but he bites his tongue before they can slip out.

"So your friend said. I'm Minseok." Minseok is smiling and teetering back on his heels and Luhan doesn't know what to do with himself.

"Well, Minseok," Luhan begins, clutching Minseok's file closer to his chest. "Let's find you somewhere more comfortable to stay until we get this all sorted out."

Luhan doesn't mean to do it. It just . . . happens. One second he's taking Minseok to the mock Heaven they have set up near the entrance to Hell, and the next, he's veering a sharp corner and leading Minseok straight into his own home. It's just that he doesn't like the idea of Minseok mingling with any other denizens of Hell; or former denizens of Hell in this case.

The mock Heaven is where the rehabilitated souls go while they wait to be released back to earth. Luhan tells himself that just because they worked off their past sins, it doesn't make them good. The only way to ensure Minseok is truly comfortable is to take him somewhere where he can make himself at home.

Luhan's place of dwelling is . . . well, it's not the type of home one would find on the surface. Minseok seems mostly intrigued, moving about Luhan's home and peering closely at the decor. None of it really matches, but Luhan has come to find the charm in having such a vast array of items.

Luhan's been in Hell for centuries now - long enough that he doesn't remember his time as a human, which suits him just fine. But he's amassed quite the collection of trophies. It's not that Luhan regards himself as arrogant, but he takes pride in the souls he's had a direct hand in bringing down. When he was simply a lust demon, sent to the surface to seduce and corrupt, he always brought back something that belonged to the human as a memento.

Those tokens are now everything he owns. Why pop into a furniture shop to take a new sofa when he could bring home a settee riddled with the memories of how he'd brought darkness to the light of a lonely princess and sent her crashing down. She'd been a tasty, sweet treat and Luhan gets to remember it every time he looks at the crimson velvet preserved in time.

Minseok's fingers roam over some of the items, catching on the tip of a dagger that had once been sheathed in Luhan’s chest in a vigilant attempt made by a panicked man in search for God’s forgiveness. Luhan now has it brazenly mounted on the wall over his mantle.

"I thought demons were supposed to be scary," Minseok comments as he curiously begins unstacking the nesting dolls Luhan keeps on a table by his favorite chair. "But so far all I've learned about demons is that you're nice enough, you enjoy sitting on my lap, and you have no sense of interior decorating."

Luhan's stomach ties itself in a knot and he lets out an airy laugh. "It's not fun being evil all the time. It can be quite exhausting. If I'm not intentionally trying to corrupt a soul or get my underlings back in line, I don't waste the energy."

"So I'm safe?" Minseok inquires, an eyebrow raised as he looks over at where Luhan is standing awkwardly out of the way.

Minseok is this fresh face, this new wonder standing in the midst of all Luhan's past and an unshakable emotion starts climbing along Luhan's skin, starting from his toes. He's not entirely sure if he likes it or not, but there's no escaping it even when Minseok turns away from him and begins restacking the dolls.

"Yes." He clears his throat when his voice comes out too high. "You may stay here until we figure out how to get you where you belong."

"Thank you."

Luhan teleports away before he can do or say anything stupid. He lands in his office, misjudging where he came in, and manages to knock over several tall stacks of files. The ghouls that Luhan had reorganizing the files from earlier all watch on with their oddly shaped eyes.

"Don't you have work to do!?" Luhan yells. They sluggishly get back to it, grunting and groaning as ghouls tend to do. Honestly, Luhan doesn't know how Yifan puts up with it.

There was a time, Luhan thinks, when Jongdae and Baekhyun feared him, respected him. Luhan had plucked them both from the lost souls when their files displayed that they showed real promise. After a trial to see if they were capable of being a lust demon, they’d both been added to the ranks. Luhan misses when the two of them were deferent and held their tongues until he was out of sight.

Baekhyun and Jongdae’s heads are together when Luhan takes a spot on one of the softer chairs in the room. He’s decided to not go back to his home just yet and if he’s going to kill time, it might as well be around others like him. Going down to check on the damned souls isn’t any fun when he reeks of brimstone for ages after. It’s not worth the hassle.

“Word around the Hellfire is that Luhan’s gone all smitten kitten for the goody two shoes,” Baekhyun begins, grinning his stupid toothy grin, his canines glinting from the nearby flames.

“Can’t you two keep a lid on anything?” Luhan grumbles, directing his stare at Jongdae.

“No,” they chorus in cheeky unison.

“Where’d you stash him?” Baekhyun inquires. “I went to see what all the fuss was about and the waiting room was empty. Did you get him sent up already?”

“No one gets processed that fast,” Jongdae snorts. “So where is he?”

“None of your business,” Luhan snaps at them, crossing his arms and slinking down in his seat.

"I bet he's close," Baekhyun stage whispers in Jongdae's ear. "Probably squirreled him away for himself, hoping we'd forget about him."

"Luhan," Jongdae chides with a cluck of his tongue, "what have we told you about keeping pets in the pit?"

Luhan rolls his eyes, refusing to comment on their idiocy even as his stomach twists at the idea of Minseok wearing a collar around his pretty neck, a leash hooked to the front and wrapped around Luhan's fingers. He fidgets in his seat, worrying his bottom lip relentlessly as his mind wanders to things he shouldn't be thinking about such a pristine, untouchable soul.

It only makes Luhan want to touch him more and he lets out a groan of frustration before remembering that he's in terrible company. He looks over at Baekhyun and Jongdae, knowing the twin gleams in their eyes are going to lead to nothing but trouble.

"Do me a favor and keep Min- the soul's presence a secret," he begins, the hint of a command in his voice. "I'd rather not deal with the headache of every demon wanting to get a look at him."

"Why?" Jongdae immediately asks.

Baekhyun slaps a hand over Jongdae's mouth. "Your secret is safe with us," Baekhyun purrs.

"Oh for Lucifer's sake, it's not a secret. It's sensitive material and I'm ordering you to keep your traps shut." Luhan knows he hasn't heard the last of it. Jongdae and Baekhyun never let anything go easily and he knows he's just presented himself as a target. If he didn't have authority - and leverage - over the both of them, he wouldn't stand a chance.

The mischievous looks on their faces are scary enough for Luhan to finally decide he's ready to go home. Demons, unlike what people are led to believe, aren't immune to needing rest and the best way to do that, is sleep. And after a long day staring at files, Luhan is exhausted.

There are no day and night cycles in Hell. They run on a twenty-four hour clock for convenience, but Luhan seldom keeps to it. It's not like on the surface when he needs to put in so many hours at work to get paid. As long as Luhan keeps up with progress, he can have as much downtime as he wants.

It's quiet when he steps inside his home and he peers around, not sure what to expect. For all he knows, Minseok has slipped out and gotten himself in a heap of trouble. Anyone unfamiliar with the terrain of Hell wouldn't last long at all trying to navigate through it. Even Luhan still gets turned around in some of the lower levels, accidentally tipping into a fiery pit or getting caught up in the miniature fire tornadoes that whip through to suck up any souls who aren't supposed to be out.

Worried, Luhan scampers through his living to get to his bedroom on the far side of the house. The door is open and Luhan skitters to a halt just inside, relieved when he sees Minseok sprawled face down across his entire king-sized bed.

The frame of the bed was hand-carved, mahogany wood caressed by a talented touch to engrave the most beautiful patterns of flower vines twisting through skulls. It's one of Luhan's most prized possessions and he's always temperamental about anyone touching it, let alone getting on it. But Minseok has made himself right at home, face half-buried in the black comforter because he didn't bother to crawl under it.

Luhan is endeared.

Wait, Luhan is annoyed! That's what he should be. No one gets on his bed without getting maimed and he approaches, stalking toward his bed with the intent of booting Minseok to the settee.

Then Minseok wakes up, eyes blinking open as he looks at Luhan. Luhan's chest compresses and he thinks he can hear his heart hitting every rib on the way down, each time echoing with a dismal plunk.

"Isittimetogo?" Minseok mumbles, wiping at his eyes.

Luhan lets out a stuttered breath before answering, hands balled into fists at his sides. Minseok was surely sent down here to test him. All he can think about is flipping Minseok onto his back and mouthing down his neck, seeing what kinds of noises he can pull from those sweet, tantalizing lips before Luhan makes him beg for more.

His fingers are itching to touch and he reaches out, giving in to his nature as he crawls slowly onto the mattress. Minseok rolls to his side before sitting up, watching with wide eyes at the way Luhan slinks toward him, predatory. His eyes are trained on Luhan, his lips parted and Luhan can feel the flames licking at his heels because he just wants a taste.

“Luhan?” Minseok questions, his voice riding through the air like temptation. Luhan’s mouth waters. “Did you want to sleep here too?” Minseok pats the now vacant side of the bed and Luhan pauses.

Luhan blinks, attention drawn to where Minseok’s hand is resting on the comforter. Sleep. It slaps reality back into place and Luhan licks over his lips, curbing his appetite as he gives Minseok a nonthreatening smile. “Yes, thank you.”

Luhan peels back the covers and wiggles out of his shirt, tossing it to the floor before shimmying out of his jeans. Not all demons choose to keep up with the latest fashion trends from the surface, but Luhan likes to indulge in the ones that showcase his assets; in this case, he’s found a preference for skinny jeans because he knows they make his ass look amazing. He isn’t wearing anything under them either.

When Luhan glances at Minseok as he lays under the covers, he’s disappointed to see that Minseok seems unaffected. Instead, Minseok lays on his side, head propped on his hand. “So what’s it like being a demon?”

The cobwebs shake loose from Luhan’s head, leaving him clearer and closer to his usual self. “Busy?” Luhan offers in the way of an answer. “I don’t remember what it was like being human, so I can’t give you a comparison.”

“You didn’t start off as a demon?” Minseok asks, leaning closer in his intrigue.

Luhan leans toward Minseok, mimicking his position. “Very few demons began as demons. Why waste the resources when human souls work just as well?”

“Do you still possess your soul?”

“I am a soul. Just with more power than others.”

“Which means you’re essentially the same as when you were human.”

Luhan furrows his eyebrows, fingers tapping mindlessly atop the comforter. “I guess?” he reasons. He thinks about Baekhyun and Jongdae; he gives consideration to Sehun when he’d first fallen to Hell with his heaviest sins beneath the lust category. Aside from those particular traits being amplified by the powers of their office and elevation from damned soul to demon, their personalities are mostly unchanged.

“That wasn’t supposed to be a brain teaser,” Minseok laughs.

“I’d just never thought about it before,” Luhan confesses. “There’s little time for self-reflection down here when there’s so much work to keep up with.”

“How does that work anyway?” Minseok continues.

Luhan’s never met a soul so inquisitive; well, he’s never met a soul brave enough to voice his questions so openly. It only makes Luhan crave him more. “There are a lot of things that demons do. You’ll have to be more specific.”

Minseok chews the inside of his cheek for a moment, sitting up and crossing his legs as he tilts toward Luhan. “Let’s start broad,” he begins. Luhan can almost taste his excitement. “I grew up being told that demons are sent to test one’s faith and if he is strong, he will go to Heaven, but give in and he goes to Hell.”

A bubble of laughter bursts from Luhan before he can stop himself. “I suppose that’s one, overly simplified, way of looking at it. Humans feel the need to quantify everything, to make themselves the victimized hero. Yes, we do go to the surface and yes, we choose our targets specifically to see if we can break them. But that’s all sugar-coating.”

Minseok is wiggling closer, eyes bright as he takes in everything Luhan has to say. Luhan sits up, letting the blanket fall around his waist, but Minseok’s gaze never strays from Luhan’s face.

“Souls are individually created, each one unique and never duplicated. I know very little about the process, but I do know that they’re produced from an ether gathered along the fringes of Purgatory.”

“Purgatory?”

“The place between Heaven and Hell. If a soul is truly neutral, that’s where it will reside in the afterlife. It also serves to house other powers that rule the surface. But that’s a different story.” Luhan tips forward, unable to resist. His very soul wants to sink into Minseok’s and revel in him. “Every soul is a mix of good and evil. When a demon tempts a human, it’s not to create an evil within that human, but to draw out the evil that already resides inside it. We’d be remiss in our duties if we didn’t seek out all the potential evil and simply lett all souls - good and evil alike - waltz into Heaven without being tested.”

Minseok’s mouth has dropped open a little and Luhan raises his hand, closing Minseok’s mouth with a finger beneath his chin.

“Besides,” Luhan adds with a shrug, “it’s fun.”

“What about now? Is my soul still in danger of the evil being brought out?”

Luhan sighs, letting his fingers trail down the side of Minseok’s arm before dropping to the comforter. “Once death has taken hold, your status is locked in place. No matter what you do right now, you are still bound for Heaven.”

This half smile that lingers on the cusp of a smirk slides easily onto Minseok’s lips and Luhan is momentarily stunned. “Even if I dabble with a demon?”

Luhan swallows. “What kind of dabbling are you interested in?”

Minseok closes the distance between them enough that Luhan can feel the puffs of warm air on his mouth. His eyes focus on Minseok’s lips and he licks over his own, barely holding onto his decency.

“Sleeping,” is what Minseok whispers, leaving Luhan sitting there, stunned as Minseok pulls away entirely and buries himself in the blankets on the other side of the bed. Luhan suppresses a whine. It’s going to be a long night.

“Someone looks like he was wrestling with the hellhounds in the dungeons,” Jongdae comments the moment Luhan arrives in what they have dubbed the Wreckage Room. It’s a downgrade from Rumpus Room but there definitely hasn’t been a downgrade of action that the place has seen. It’s just that there’s equal parts violence to go along with the sexual deviance. It’s where the demons come to decompress, although there won’t be much decompressing when both Baekhyun and Jongdae are present.

“Sehun,” Luhan whines, pouting and batting his eyes at the demon in the hopes that he’ll get his underlings in line.

“They’re not my problem for another hour,” Sehun says even as his eyes rake up and down Luhan’s form twice. “And they’re right. Did Jongin let you play with his pets again?”

“No,” Luhan sighs. “Just a long night.”

“I’d hate to see what your victim looks like,” Sehun titters before leaving Luhan alone with Baekhyun and Jongdae. The traitor.

“Yes,” Baekhyun hisses, sliding up to Luhan with a smirk. “What does our misplaced soul look like today?”

“The same as he looked yesterday when he arrived,” Luhan sniffs. Just mildly more disheveled from making himself at home in Luhan’s bed, but neither of them need to know that. He pushes his way through the pair of demons, heading for the basket chairs. Maybe he can curl up in one for a quick nap before he has to bury himself in files.

Jongdae and Baekhyun, true to character, don’t let up. They follow Luhan over, wedging themselves on either side of him and taking up most of the cushion.

“Then what does have your pretty pink panties in a knot?” Baekhyun wonders aloud, dragging his finger along the length of Luhan’s thigh.

Luhan carelessly knocks Baekhyun’s hand away, scowling.

“Could it be that our little pure soul has a hold on you?” Jongdae suggests.

Luhan’s silence only proves his guilt and he makes this pained noise instead of answering. There are twin gasps that echo in Luhan’s ears and he realizes he’s sealed his own fate.

“Has Luhan gone soft?” Baekhyun whispers.

“No!” Luhan shouts. “I just -” Luhan lets out a growl and leans back in the chair. “I didn’t crawl my way from the deepest pits of Hell to be thwarted by someone who was clearly crafted from my own fantasies.”

Jongdae pulls a face. “You didn’t crawl anywhere. Your ass broke the last Satan when you landed on the throne - and on him. And we unanimously decided that you weren’t cut out to replace him.”

“Why was that again?” Luhan asks, head tilting as he stares at the domed ceiling above him. It’s made to look as if it was stitched together with bone and muscle, but it’s all an illusion.

“Too flighty,” Baekhyun answers.

“Right,” Luhan says, remembering. It was a traumatic day; he’s blocked most of it out.

“That and Kyungsoo would have fed you to the souls down on level eight within a fortnight,” Jongdae snickers.

“Would have watched as they tore you to pieces,” Baekhyun adds.

“I got a sweet promotion out of it though,” Luhan grumps, crossing his arms. Kyungsoo had hand-plucked the next Satan himself, seating Jongin on the throne because a demon who was never human cannot occupy the seat himself. Which is completely fine because Jongin was the perfect choice. A day on the job and Jongin had offered Kyungsoo a soul of his own. Kyungsoo had recoiled like a serpent was slithering up his leg. Jongin had pouted for days, but Kyungsoo is still delightfully soulless.

Luhan did get the better end of the deal; or at least that’s what he thought up until the day the perfect soul dropped in. He leans forward, hunching in on himself. "I'm doomed," Luhan groans, fingers twisting in his hair and pulling because the pain grounds him.

"Well we knew that," Baekhyun chimes in, unhelpful.

"The question is, what are you going to do about it," Jongdae adds.

Luhan lifts his head, eyes darting back and forth between the two. "What do you mean?"

"You're the Head Demon!" Baekhyun exclaims.

"And former Head Lust Demon," Jongdae adds for good measure.

"And?" Luhan asks desperately.

"And you need to get your flat ass back to where you've stashed that tasty soul and show him why you were deemed the best of us."

“But what if -” Luhan glances at the two of them. “What if I want to keep him?”

Baekhyun immediately bursts into obnoxious laughter. It’s Jongdae who notices that there is no amusement etched on Luhan’s face. Luhan still has the file. He hasn’t had the opportunity to seek out Jongin or Kyungsoo so Minseok can be sent where he needs to be, and now he’s thinking he’ll hold on to it for a little longer. Just to see. He’s not going to rob Minseok of an eternity in Heaven, but a few more days wouldn’t hurt him. It’s not as if Luhan would let any harm come to him.

“Luhan,” Jongdae begins. “How are you going to hide a pure soul?”

“Not forever,” Luhan clarifies. “I’m just curious about him. So keep this a secret for a little longer, yeah?”

“You know that the Big Guy Upstairs is coming down for tea tomorrow,” Baekhyun gets out between hiccuping spurts of laughter. He wipes at his eyes and finally starts calming down. “How are you going to hide a soul that rightfully belongs to Him?”

Jongdae curls his lip. “He’s not that great you know.” There’s a distasteful look on Jongdae’s face. “I don’t see the appeal in God or Heaven at all.” He crosses his legs, his foot bobbing in irritation.

Luhan chokes down a snort of amusement, but Baekhyun isn’t as polite. “I bet he’s wonderful,” Baekhyun coos, just to see the dark look on Jongdae’s face.

Jongdae stands, staring upward with a livid expression on his face. “I bite my thumb at thee!”

“Sit down,” Luhan commands, pulling Jongdae down by his shirt. “No one talks like that anymore.”

Jongdae’s anger shifts into a pout and Luhan clucks his tongue. Jongdae’s greatest trial was a human by the name of Joonmyun who seemed incorruptible. But Jongdae was determined. He spent years flitting back and forth between Hell and the surface in his attempts to draw out the evil in Joonmyun’s soul. It just wasn’t meant to be. When Joonmyun died, his soul went straight to Heaven and Jongdae has never gotten over it. It’s been centuries since then, but Jongdae sometimes relapses, still lusting over that sweet, sweet unattainable ass.

Luhan pats him comfortingly on the back. Nothing about this conversation has helped his situation. And he doesn’t have the time for a nap anymore.

PART TWO