love letter
Dan, I dont think I'd want to return to Champaign and not find you there. It will be painful. When my flight was canceled and I was rerouted to Terminal 1 with United, I was just gonna leave and call you to come back for me. I was convinced the trip was simply not meant to be. I planned it when we were 'readjusting' and didnt expect I'd grow to appreciate your company so much. I have not known a more tender touch, or had experienced such a smooth and fulfilling partnership. Well, I proceeded instead through the humiliation called security check for foreign nationals. There is a special line for people who do not 'exhibit' the familiar blue passport. It was populated predominatly by men of a darker complexion, North African or Middle Eastern. I was the only female, and with 2 bags. So I had the special honor of walking not only bare feeted but also half undressed to the special booth where a lady officer searched me before I could proceed. I gave back such hostile looks to all the officers that I think they felt uncomfortable, not to mention my underwear being all exposed, hair a mess, I was 'rabid,' maybe even had foam on the mouth. I was mad for at least an hour after, until we finally boarded 8:30 a flight that did not depart until 9:30. At least I did a ton of work. I missed you a lot on the plane and thought of really, what a surreal life it is that happens to me. Or I make? I wanted many times in the past to say I love you, but I didnt, because I fear these words come to easy sometimes. I care for you and I'll miss you are safer ways to go. And certainly, they are less binding. Yet, you have marked me, indeed, pao! You asked if I can feel your facial features with my hand in the dark, that beauty is palpable. I believe I will remember how you feel, and will recognize you in the dark, should my body come across your again. I wish I could sleep in your arms again, tonight, I wished you'd be wandering around at LaGuardia, I wish I wasn't gonna be sucked in by the city alone this time. There are many things I wish were different. For one, I cant believe I am writing this letter. You know the Little Prince, right, and the fox, and how the fox asked that he would tame (appropriate) him, so they be connected forever through the exclusive bond of friendship. Like you tamed the reckless chimp. I thank you.
It all started that night when you came to my party and asked about my indoor window, if I open it and say "Good morning, everybody!" and you acted it out in a gesture very much like 'Bob Fosse' in All that Jazz, that crazy rhythm, pain, love, glitter.