HYPOTHETICAL.

[thespook]

Let's say you come into a large sum of money--a couple of million dollars, maybe. You've won the lottery, received an inheritance, whatever, only there's a catch. You must use that money for evil. You can't use it to directly make your life better or give it to charity or anything like that. You have to use it to make other peoples' lives miserable

Comments

[girlsoul]

one thing i would definitely do is buy up any billboard, bench, bus stop, etc related advertising and post a large ad which read "__________ IS A LIAR"

but i guess that's libel so i'd probably get sued. but i could probably settle out of court since i'd be a millionaire, right?

[unit9]

i would take 10% of the money and have 3 or 5 dildos delivered to the persons mother daily with a note that read "i miss you mom!"
20% would go to scientific research so i could have any new disease discovered over a year named after that persons family.
10% to pay someone to shit in their mailbox twice a week for as long as they could get away with it.
20% to run commercials every december for the lifetime of the person in the area where they live. the commercial would be santa clause weeping and bloody saying "sorry kids, no xmas this year, ____ poisoned me! i might be dead by the time you see this!"
10% to the persons vet or pet groomer to train the pet to hate the person a little every time they drop it off.
10% to building a machine next door to him that would coat his house with a fine mist of cat piss every morning at 5:30
5% to someone at his work to put a single pubic hair on his phone daily
15% to have paris hilton visit him as often as that 15% will pay for.

[cobraclutch]

I'd be tricky about it. I'd do a bait and switch kinda deal. I would outright tell them, "Look, I'm going to do something for you. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to build a swimming pool in your back yard with all the trimmings. A big deck, a waterslide for the kids, you name it, it's yours." And I will go through with it. And then they'll see it and they'll be so thrilled with it. It'll be like a little slice of heaven in their back yards. Then I'll fill the whole fucking thing with quick-drying cement while they're at work or school or something. and make sure to pour a load of cement down the waterslide, too, so the kids can't get any use out of that. Y'know, give them something really good, something they've always wanted, but just for a little while to give them a taste of what it's like to have it, then just shit all over their dreams. Then a month after that I'd come knock on their door and say, "Aw, fuck, that was a rotten thing to do. Here, lemme take you on a cruise." And I'll send them on a cruise. Most luxurious

[thespook]

Thanks! These are all pretty great. Aaron, you are particularly devious. I will do my best to never get on your bad side.