[closed]

[illjustdieagain]

Characters: Nathan Young and Logan Wolverine (and Sith people?!?!?!)
Location: ON A SHIP MOTHERFUCKER DON'T YOU EVER FORGET
Planet: Korriban. Eventually.
When: While all the distress signal going off and shit blowing up is happening. Logan and Nathan have better things to do with their lives. (Week 24)
What: Logan's wants to fight some shit, Nathan

Comments

[slicesanddices]

["I... I don't know!" the Sith says vehemently.]

Wrong answer. [Logan's claws extend further, putting deep nicks in the guy's neck, and he gasps.

"I don't! Let me go!" The begging's a distraction though. The Sith sees that Nathan has no fucking idea what he's doing and when he raises a hand as if in surrender, palm up... he also flicks it and violently wrenches the pommel of the saber from Nathan's grasp, sending it flying towards... Logan's head!!! OH NO!!]

[illjustdieagain]

[And because Nathan is a loving bro (or something), he decides to amend this horrible turn of events by making a simultaneous running jump toward Logan and trying to push him out of the way instead of letting him ... get decapitated or something. And that is how they all end up in a stupid, awkward pile on the floor. Serves that Sith right. Maybe he'll end up with claws in the eyeball.]

[slicesanddices]

[A pile of sweaty man and claws, yeah this is really... where you want to be right now, Nathan. But luckily you're right and Logan just stabs the guy in the pile, right through the torso. It's horrific to watch when you're part of this hot mess of awkward pile.]

[illjustdieagain]

I saved your life, mate! [At least the sweaty bloody manpile has a silver lining! He clambers out of it to grab the lightsaber again before anyone gets any ideas about ... taking it from him again.] That wasn't so hard!

[Isn't that usually the time when like ... ten more come out of nowhere ...... ]

[slicesanddices]

[No. This is Star Wars.

It's more like forty.

Bearing down the hallway.]

... That ain't good.

[illjustdieagain]

[Nathan is like legit about to shit his pants. Again bc after rereading I realized he has shit his pants like 20 times in this log. It's a shitty situation, okay. He scrambles to his feet and holds his lightsaber like a baseball bat -- that's his battle stance. And then he looks at Logan like WELL WHAT ARE WE DOING YOU'RE THE ONE IN CHARGE HERE o__o ]

[slicesanddices]

[There has to come a point in this log where Nathan realizes that he should have taken his chances with somebody who wasn't fucknuts crazy in his own right.

This is probably that moment.

Any normal person would run right about now, with forty Sith coming at them, but those men don't have adamantium balls. Letting loose an animalistic howl, Logan plunges into the middle of them, embedding claws into two of their torsos.

It at least takes them by surprise that first time.]

[illjustdieagain]

[Yeeeeahhhh. Despite original plan, Nathan decides to take the slightly less psycho way out, and turns to run away. Only ... there are Sith coming from that way, too. Oops.]

Now, now, I'm sure we can sort this. It's all just one big misunderstanding. [He cranes his neck to look back at Wolverine, who's still in a mosh pit of battle.] ... He's kind of retarded. Sorry about that.

[He also realizes he is still holding that lightsaber and looks down at it like osht.] And that's, well, who isn't packing heat these days? [ nervous chuckle]

[At least that buys him a moment while the Sith look at each other like "is this kid for real????" before they start attacking him.]

[slicesanddices]

[It's like the last level of KOTOR where it spawns infinite bad guys. /spoilers

Logan spears quite a few of them, but they get sick of that real fast. And then it's Force lightning time. I could link that article here about how electricity affects Wolverine or whatever, but that's a lot of work, so for this sake of this log, it at least hurts like a sonuvabitch.]

[illjustdieagain]

[I feel like I read that article already ... for some reason. /off-topic. ANYWAY BACK TO OUR HEROES:

Nathan will now learn another horrible lesson about trying to wield a lightsaber -- when you have one, people generally expect you to know how to use it. And that was how he ended up in a duel. Sure, he made a valiant effort ... ish, but that didn't prevent him from being completely useless. About five seconds in, he gets impaled in his midsection.]

Logan! Sideburns? [He's screaming out to him without actually ... looking. All he can do is live on the prayer that Logan will hear him.] Things are going south over here rather quickly!

[slicesanddices]

[There's this really big problem with fighting Sith when your powers are like... healing and claws. They can telekinetically pick you up like yesterday's business and pin you to the wall Magneto style.

That's happening over here. And I assume this is when Fei's Sith shows up with her basilisk or whatever.

Nothing is ever happy again. :( ]