Comments | thetowerxvi: Gender Identity

thetowerxvi

Gender Identity

Nov 28, 2011 06:02

Due to some recent happenings a few people have been asking privately exactly what my gender is. On one hand I kind of want to tell people they can go to hell and its none of their business, but at the same time I am in a unique position in that I am not limited by my job or family when it comes to how honest I can be about such things. This is ( Read more... )

Comments 14

poiuy31 November 28 2011, 14:47:35 UTC

Hi! I like you very much, you are open person with brave spirit!
Regards, poiuy31

deathjunke November 28 2011, 18:40:45 UTC

To be honest I've never understood the stress people put on gender. I've always thought gender was a bit limiting because of the roles people expect you to play or how people believe you think/behave.

I will say that the way you described your actual voice sounded pleasant. Not be rude or anything, I'm just wondering, why'd you work so hard to change it?

thetowerxvi November 28 2011, 22:27:04 UTC

I've never really understood it either. I can get that its important to some people but not why.

I changed my voice because I was teased all the time about it. As a girl I was told things like I could make a ton of money working for a phone sex company and as boy I was told I had a "bedroom voice" (whatever that is) or that I purred when I talked. It was just really annoying and despite everything I am actually very shy. Its not completely gone, I mean its my real voice so I do still fall into it occasionally, especially if Ive had a few glasses of wine. :)

thetowerxvi November 28 2011, 22:21:15 UTC

Aww, thanks sweety!

grneyedwoman November 28 2011, 16:03:02 UTC

Interesting post. The beauty of LJ is I am talking to a person without visual cues that create bias. I found you because of your story telling talent. I also found an intriguing individual comfortable in their own skin. I think if asked I would have said you were female. You explanation of how you feel about yourself misfits much better for how you feel to me. I did friend your F B page and saw your gender description pieces fell into place. Not that it matters at all. Love your writing. I have enjoyed getting to know you as person.

Cindy

thetowerxvi November 28 2011, 22:31:28 UTC

Thank you. :) I think here on LJ someone referred to me as 'she' and most people just ran with it. It's no big deal to me. I think the only person who really flips is my mother when someone uses a male pronoun for me. She can't wrap her head around it.

The person who set up the FB page listed it as male I think. I really need to work more on the stuff I have set up under my pen name... I'm such a slacker

meganeko_mausuu November 29 2011, 03:43:14 UTC

Yeah, I always heard you referred to as "she" here, so that's how I thought of you, but really, it makes no difference. You're you, and you're my friend.

And really, I'm wondering who the hell these people are that they think they have the right to be nosy. (Unless they're just asking because they don't want to fuck up and upset you by using the wrong pronouns?)

thetowerxvi November 29 2011, 03:51:11 UTC

I don't think people were trying to be offensive or anything. Most of the messages were very polite and not really limited just to LJ. I think there have been some recent events that have led people to be kind of leery of who people say they are on the internet. *shrug*

makusrocks101 November 29 2011, 05:46:51 UTC

Wow. I seriously wish I could be like you. haha. So Open and Okay with everything.. for me.. I dont find gender all that bad.. Its kind of weird because sometimes i wish I was a guy... but I dont like girls like that really.. but then at times the thought of a guy just disgusts me.. I dont know if its just the guys ive been around that turns me off but when I think about it, it kind of makes me cringe, Yet I dont think I would say Im attracted to girls.. haha, I guess i could label it as BI.. but I dont like labels.. i mean why put a label on something like that?

so i guess im trying to say I wish I could be like you and be sure of what you want and your thoughts.. haha ^_^

thetowerxvi November 29 2011, 10:44:31 UTC

If I were in your position I wouldn't worry about it too much. Peoples sexuality and gender change and evolve throughout their lifetime. As long as you're happy who cares? I think I've just had too much time to think about the subject since I was so confused by some people's reactions to me. I truly didn't understand what the problem was for the longest time.

romerose December 1 2011, 03:38:41 UTC

I love that you are approaching this so directly and calmly. I think a lot of people are too fixated on black and white gender roles. What many don't realize is that even on a biological level, it is often more complicated than just male and female, let alone psychological and emotional levels. I think that is one think I love about meeting people in this type of setting. There are fewer expectations based on gender because many don't choose to share whether they are biologically male or female. I'm sorry you felt that certain people were forcing you to identify as one or another.

thetowerxvi December 1 2011, 09:50:04 UTC

Thank you. I completely agree that people tend to see things like this in way too narrow a view. Maybe this entry will open doors for people who may not have been exposed to anything different. While I'm nowhere near as eloquent or dedicated to the subject as people like Lee Harrington or vashtan, I couldn't help but not step up when I had so many people asking.

I don't think anyone who sent an email or message was trying to force me to do anything but there were enough inquiries to the point where it was just easier to post an entry I can direct people to rather than trying to explain in every email. :)

charisstoma December 10 2011, 04:27:14 UTC

Am not reading comments and am responding to later posts. *sighs*
Consider that when you respond to my previous post please, but it doesn't really change the aim I was crawling towards.

YES to what you say here gender wise. All of it. People aren't mass produced and perfectly conforming cookies.
Body mod is total breast removal? Or would reduction so you don't need a bra be enough? *snickers* And you were afraid of what Chris would say/do if you cut your hair... oh my, Chip, oh my.

thetowerxvi December 10 2011, 08:46:31 UTC

Lol, since Chris has no business with my chest no matter its shape...I don't really care what he thinks. Although truthfully hes 100% supportive. He doesn't really care. The two of us share the ideal that you love someone for who they are, not what they are.

What I am considering is what trans* people call top surgery. Its the same surgery that someone who wanted a FtM sex change might have and its different than a breast reduction.