I'm sorry for yours, too. This sort of thing is fucking difficult and I'm just glad that we had a good night together that NYE before she died. I think the guilt and regret would've been way worse, otherwise.
Trust me, so am I. I hate how strongly she comes through in this piece, even though she's not necessarily the focus. Her presence is just that strong. Sigh.
Arghhhhh. This is so hard to read. This time of year is so hard for our family. She was like my third child. I didn't even remind J of the date, I let it quietly pass - with my own musical tributes to her. I love you kiddo- <3 <3 <3
And this makes me want to strangle E more than ever, if that's even possible by now.
And how about that. Bobbers! Student of the month? Whoot!
I know she was, and good on not reminding J. <3 He's got enough on his mind, I think. I love you, too, Mom. <3 <3 <3
I know. The first section was a very stark reminder of how she used to be and how it's unlikely that she's even changed. Ah well.
Yeah, he made Student of the Month in December, and they did an award ceremony (I have a few pics up on FB) on the 5th. He was a mess before I walked him up to the podium really. He did not have a good day that day at school, either.
I'm so sorry. You hadn't mentioned this aspect of things with Mel before, and that this opportunity came up and your ex pushed her out of the picture.
That was your husband then, not your wife, which made this a little confusing at first. But that controlling behavior, and the importance of who Mel was to you... I remembered all of that quite clearly from earlier posts.
It's hard to see how controlling someone is, and how unrelentingly able to be pleased, when you are also a victim of that behavior. It has warped your reality, it is your "normal," and you buy into it so thoroughly that you don't see that it's unfair to you, unfair in how it assesses other people.
I'm so sorry your friend is gone. She was one of the good ones.
It's not exactly one of the aspects I liked to dwell on, considering. I prefer to keep thinking about how much she'd done for me and Bob before she passed away than the fact that I let Ev push her out of our lives for a bit.
And yeah, Ev hadn't transitioned yet, in the first part of this piece -- but I had known she was trans for quite a while before that and had been internally referring to her as my wife for a long time. For those who know more of my history, it could be a little confusing -- but it's still EV no matter what, you know? Ev started transitioning in 2013, shortly after Mel had passed away.
It really is, and it's so much easier to see it now, but it's still so hard to reconcile it sometimes, too. And not to dismiss it as just her being deeply flawed. It's more than flawed. It's fucked up and potentially damaging. But I'm learning how to navigate it better and hopefully will be able to help Bob navigate it, too.
She was. <3 I miss her all the damn time, but I'm not sorry for the impact she's had on my life, either
( ... )
It was a bit confusing to sort out the characters at first, but also the emotion and dynamics of the situation came out loud and clear. I've been in that sort of position before, and it sucks absolute ass. *hugs*
*hugs back* It does, and yeah, I worried that it might be a little confusing at first, but I'm glad you pushed through and that the emotion and dynamics came through, loud and clear. :)
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I'm glad your ex is now an ex.
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Trust me, so am I. I hate how strongly she comes through in this piece, even though she's not necessarily the focus. Her presence is just that strong. Sigh.
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And this makes me want to strangle E more than ever, if that's even possible by now.
And how about that. Bobbers! Student of the month? Whoot!
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I know. The first section was a very stark reminder of how she used to be and how it's unlikely that she's even changed. Ah well.
Yeah, he made Student of the Month in December, and they did an award ceremony (I have a few pics up on FB) on the 5th. He was a mess before I walked him up to the podium really. He did not have a good day that day at school, either.
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That was your husband then, not your wife, which made this a little confusing at first. But that controlling behavior, and the importance of who Mel was to you... I remembered all of that quite clearly from earlier posts.
It's hard to see how controlling someone is, and how unrelentingly able to be pleased, when you are also a victim of that behavior. It has warped your reality, it is your "normal," and you buy into it so thoroughly that you don't see that it's unfair to you, unfair in how it assesses other people.
I'm so sorry your friend is gone. She was one of the good ones.
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And yeah, Ev hadn't transitioned yet, in the first part of this piece -- but I had known she was trans for quite a while before that and had been internally referring to her as my wife for a long time. For those who know more of my history, it could be a little confusing -- but it's still EV no matter what, you know? Ev started transitioning in 2013, shortly after Mel had passed away.
It really is, and it's so much easier to see it now, but it's still so hard to reconcile it sometimes, too. And not to dismiss it as just her being deeply flawed. It's more than flawed. It's fucked up and potentially damaging. But I'm learning how to navigate it better and hopefully will be able to help Bob navigate it, too.
She was. <3 I miss her all the damn time, but I'm not sorry for the impact she's had on my life, either ( ... )
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Your ex sounds a lot like my mother when I was growing up. I'm glad she's your ex.
And I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost a dear friend of mine a few years ago the day after Christmas. It's an awful thing to go through.
Congrats to your son for making Student of the Month!
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My ex sounds like a lot of people who should really not be around other people. I'm glad she's my ex, too.
It really is, and I'm so sorry for yours. I can only imagine how rough that was (if only because THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS? man)
He is a sweetie though today he is trying all of my nerves. :)
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