(no subject)
Character: J and Kitty
Setting: The Hospital
Rating: PG 13 for languagess
Summary: J comes to vist Kitty and in all it's cliche-ness, she wakeses after about 5 days of.. not-wakeingness.
Kitty is in the hospital.. in the bed.. unconcious
J pushed the hospital door open, already in a down enough mood as it was. But when his eyes fell on Kitty, when he saw how sickly she looked, his eyes narrowed as emotions came to him. "Oh, God."
Kitty continued to be unconcious
He walked slowly to her bedside, letting his fingers trail over her arm. He knew that, unconscious, she should have looked peaceful, but if it weren't for the rise and fall of her chest, she would look completely and utterly dead.
A nurse passed by, poking her head in through the door to check on Kitty's state. She gave J a small smile
He just gave her a grave look before looking back at Kitty.
Not knowing what to say, she just left, closing the door lightly behind her.
J's fingers reached Kitty's neck, brushing against her jaw. So many things he wanted to say just then, now that he couldn't. All he could think to do was slowly bend over, brushing a kiss over her lips.
Slowly, in almost a dreamlike way, her eyes fluttered openned. Her vision took a moment to clear, and she really wasn't sure where she was, nor why.
J blinked, cocking an eyebrow a moment at the cliché-ity of what had happened. But he kept his face just barely above Kitty's, looking into her eyes. He had what looked to be the beginnings of a smile.
She slowly moved her right hand up to touch him, her skin was cold. She smiled very weakly, but gave him a confused look.
Surprised at the coldness of her touch he brought his hand to hers, but he could see what that look said. "You're in the hospital," he said quietly. "You passed out, haven't woken up until... well, until now."
"Wha..? When?", even her voice seemed weak. She started to sit up.
"Lie down," he said, and glanced around the room before sitting next to her on the bed. "The other day. Xan said it was because of hunger, not to mention everything you've been taking." He gave her a less-than-impressed look.
She did as she was told, and layed back down, she closed her eyes for a moment, "Oh..", she managed to reply.
He went quiet too, wondering why... "Why, Kitty?" He stared at the bedsheets a moment before turning his gaze to her.
She slowly openned her eyes again, she tried to meet J's gaze but just couldn't, "I..", she started, "I'm just ..so tired.. and I just want to sleep.. eternally.. forever.. I can't do this anymore.."
"I..." he felt helpless, just sitting there. He held her hand again, and sighed.
"I'm.. I'm sorry.. J..", she whispered, "I'm so.. so sorry.."
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He wanted an answer, and now.
"Because I deserve it."
"You de... what?" He blinked, looking at her in a very confused manner. "Why the fuck would you deserve... this?" He gestured to the room.
"I..", she sighed slightly, "J.. I'm so stupid.. I.. I just wanted.. to help her.."
"Her? Who, Alex?"
Kitty nodded.
"God, you're so selfless. Think about yourself for once."
"But.. I..", she really didn't know how to reply to that
"But you what? You've got to stop living for everyone else." Maybe his advice wasn't the best, but he'd give it anyway.
"But she.. she's only a kid.. and she should'nt've had to do that.."
"... what?" He looked at her, curiosity evident.
"I.. don't know if... ..Have you ever.. heard of 'The Diamond Dove"..?"
Aherm. "I have."
"She.. she got blackmailed.. into working there..", Kitty explained, she had, of course, figured J knew of the diamond.
"Oh yeah?" That didn't surprise him, really. She was always getting herself into shit. "And so you...?"
She sighed again, "I.. made a deal with her boss..", she made sure to keep her gaze away from him, "Only.. he.."
"He what?" His tone was firm, but he kept it from sounding angry.
"He ..went back on his word... I should've known he would,,"
"And what happened?"
"He was supposed to.. to cut all ties.. with Alex.. free her from the Diamond..", she blinked back a few tears that were starting to fill her eyes, "in exchange for me.. but he didn't.."
"... so you're starving yourself." He'd deal with the real point of what she'd just told him later.
"That's just a habbit, I guess", she replied, "And I.. I just feel so guilty over it.. that I can't keep anything down anyways, even if I tried..."
"You're going to die, you know that, right? If you keep this up?"
"That was partly the point..?", she replied, she slowly look up at him, "But at the same time.. I know.. it's.. ..something has got to make it better.. I know if I die it won't get any easier on anyone else,, so then I just get so guilty over thinking about it.. and I just can't take it all anymore.. It's like.. everything I do is wrong.. there is no right option.."
"How often have you even thought about me lately?" J asked after hearing her response. "God, Kitty, if you killed yourself..." He got that grim look again. "I don't know what the fuck I'd do. But don't let me make you think that's wrong or anything." He wasn't very good at offering sympathy, he knew.
She sighed slightly, "God, J. I think about you everday for fuck's sake. Every fucking day. Not that I see you even half as much," she added as an after thought, "But, I, I just tell myself.. you'd get over it.. you'd find someone else.. I'm unfaithful anyways, even if it's not on my own free will," she added, referring to the diamond.
"You think it's that easy?" He asked, looking at her. "You know that you're the only person I have ever, fucking ever opened up to. Shit, I can't even screw around without thinking about you, thinking that you're the only one I want to be with." He went silent, thinking. "But then again, everyone I care about ends up going away."
"I don't want to go away!", she cried, "But I can't find another way.. I don't know any different anymore. I Love you J, I don't want to ever be without you, and I don;t want to hurt you, but whatever I do is, in some way, hurting you. I don't understand anymore, J. I hate myself. I'm always fucking up, and hurting people, hurting you, but I don't learn from it, I just screw up more.."
He sat back down on the side of the bed, taking her hand again. "Why don't you just try starting over? Forgetting everything you did wrong, leaving the past behind..." ... basically everything he did when he came to the U, really. "I don't know, since I'm probably the shittiest shrink-for-hire ever. Stop blaming yourself."
A few tears fell from her eyes, "I wish I knew how, J... I really wish I knew how.."
He reached up, wiped those tears away. Frustrated with himself because he was of no help, he didn't say anything.
She blushed very slightly, "God, J.. you must think I'm so.. so weak.. You almost.. only ever see me.. when I'm at my worst..."
"Of course I don't."
She didn't quite understand how that was possible, but she smiled weakly nonetheless. "I'm sorry. ...I.. I wanna..get better.. J, I really do.."
"Then try," he said, looking at her.
Kitty looked back at him for a moment before looking away. She nodded slowly, but then looked back at J, "..Y.. will you.. help me..?"
He smiled just a little; as much as he could in a hospital under these conditions. "Yeah. I will."
I am so undeserving of you, she thought, But I am so glad I have you,,
She gave him a weak, and semi-scared smile, "I Love You...", she whispered, she meant, not only "I Love you", but also "I'm sorry", and "thank you".
It was now he was reminded of how hard he found it to say those words. "I love you too." The look in his eyes said he was scared to say it, but he meant it.
Kitty smiled a bit more, she believed him, and hoped he knew it. "...What day is it anyways..?", an attempted to stear away from the topic..
"Wednesday," he replied. "The twenty-fifth."
"...You're joking, right?", she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Nope," he said, looking at her.
She started to sit up again, "I'm going home."
"What, now? You just woke up." He didn't want her passing out like she had again
"But it's been... like 5 days or something... or at least, the last day I remember was Thursday/Friday..", she reached over to take out her IVs.
He put a hand over her IVs, looking into her eyes. "You know that 'trying not to screw things up' thing? You leave before you get better and this'll just happen again."
Kitty went silent for a moment, and slowly laid back down, "...Okay.."
He glanced around the room. "I know it sucks to be in here, but the U's not in mortal peril or anything, so you can leave your superheroness here for a while to get better." He smiled a little.
"But you'll have to leave later, won't you..?", she asked, looking up at him.
"... probably, yeah."
"Okay...", she looked down for a moment, "How.. is the U holding up.. I haven't exactly seen anyone lately..?"
"I DON'T KNOW Well, same as usual." He shrugged.
Kitty nodded, "And.. how have you been.. it's been awhile,,"
"I've been fine. Nothing interesting going on."
"Sounds... fun..?", She was running out of things to say, which was kind of annoying.
"... yeah. Loads." He glanced out the window.
She followed his gaze, "You.. you can leave.. if you want.."
"I don't," he said, looking at her again.
"Okay.."
He looked at her, how tired she was, remembered what she'd been through. "... but I probably should."
She didn't really want him to go, but it probably was for the better... "Will.. will you make me..stay here much longer...?"
"Not too long," he said, "just until you get well enough that you at least look like you can keep food down." He squeezed her hand.
Kitty nodded again, "Alright.. I'll ..try my hardest.. okay?"
He nodded. "Okay."
She slowly, and reluctently, released his hand, and gave him a brave smile.
He leaned over, kissing her again before moving to the door. "Feel better."
"I will", she promised, the taste of J was now fresh on her lips again. Even if she didn't think she deserved to get better, she would. For J.
Giving her a last small smile, J opened the hospital door, leaving Kitty alone again.
..I'll stop raping your flists now ^^;
Setting: The Hospital
Rating: PG 13 for languagess
Summary: J comes to vist Kitty and in all it's cliche-ness, she wakeses after about 5 days of.. not-wakeingness.
Kitty is in the hospital.. in the bed.. unconcious
J pushed the hospital door open, already in a down enough mood as it was. But when his eyes fell on Kitty, when he saw how sickly she looked, his eyes narrowed as emotions came to him. "Oh, God."
Kitty continued to be unconcious
He walked slowly to her bedside, letting his fingers trail over her arm. He knew that, unconscious, she should have looked peaceful, but if it weren't for the rise and fall of her chest, she would look completely and utterly dead.
A nurse passed by, poking her head in through the door to check on Kitty's state. She gave J a small smile
He just gave her a grave look before looking back at Kitty.
Not knowing what to say, she just left, closing the door lightly behind her.
J's fingers reached Kitty's neck, brushing against her jaw. So many things he wanted to say just then, now that he couldn't. All he could think to do was slowly bend over, brushing a kiss over her lips.
Slowly, in almost a dreamlike way, her eyes fluttered openned. Her vision took a moment to clear, and she really wasn't sure where she was, nor why.
J blinked, cocking an eyebrow a moment at the cliché-ity of what had happened. But he kept his face just barely above Kitty's, looking into her eyes. He had what looked to be the beginnings of a smile.
She slowly moved her right hand up to touch him, her skin was cold. She smiled very weakly, but gave him a confused look.
Surprised at the coldness of her touch he brought his hand to hers, but he could see what that look said. "You're in the hospital," he said quietly. "You passed out, haven't woken up until... well, until now."
"Wha..? When?", even her voice seemed weak. She started to sit up.
"Lie down," he said, and glanced around the room before sitting next to her on the bed. "The other day. Xan said it was because of hunger, not to mention everything you've been taking." He gave her a less-than-impressed look.
She did as she was told, and layed back down, she closed her eyes for a moment, "Oh..", she managed to reply.
He went quiet too, wondering why... "Why, Kitty?" He stared at the bedsheets a moment before turning his gaze to her.
She slowly openned her eyes again, she tried to meet J's gaze but just couldn't, "I..", she started, "I'm just ..so tired.. and I just want to sleep.. eternally.. forever.. I can't do this anymore.."
"I..." he felt helpless, just sitting there. He held her hand again, and sighed.
"I'm.. I'm sorry.. J..", she whispered, "I'm so.. so sorry.."
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He wanted an answer, and now.
"Because I deserve it."
"You de... what?" He blinked, looking at her in a very confused manner. "Why the fuck would you deserve... this?" He gestured to the room.
"I..", she sighed slightly, "J.. I'm so stupid.. I.. I just wanted.. to help her.."
"Her? Who, Alex?"
Kitty nodded.
"God, you're so selfless. Think about yourself for once."
"But.. I..", she really didn't know how to reply to that
"But you what? You've got to stop living for everyone else." Maybe his advice wasn't the best, but he'd give it anyway.
"But she.. she's only a kid.. and she should'nt've had to do that.."
"... what?" He looked at her, curiosity evident.
"I.. don't know if... ..Have you ever.. heard of 'The Diamond Dove"..?"
Aherm. "I have."
"She.. she got blackmailed.. into working there..", Kitty explained, she had, of course, figured J knew of the diamond.
"Oh yeah?" That didn't surprise him, really. She was always getting herself into shit. "And so you...?"
She sighed again, "I.. made a deal with her boss..", she made sure to keep her gaze away from him, "Only.. he.."
"He what?" His tone was firm, but he kept it from sounding angry.
"He ..went back on his word... I should've known he would,,"
"And what happened?"
"He was supposed to.. to cut all ties.. with Alex.. free her from the Diamond..", she blinked back a few tears that were starting to fill her eyes, "in exchange for me.. but he didn't.."
"... so you're starving yourself." He'd deal with the real point of what she'd just told him later.
"That's just a habbit, I guess", she replied, "And I.. I just feel so guilty over it.. that I can't keep anything down anyways, even if I tried..."
"You're going to die, you know that, right? If you keep this up?"
"That was partly the point..?", she replied, she slowly look up at him, "But at the same time.. I know.. it's.. ..something has got to make it better.. I know if I die it won't get any easier on anyone else,, so then I just get so guilty over thinking about it.. and I just can't take it all anymore.. It's like.. everything I do is wrong.. there is no right option.."
"How often have you even thought about me lately?" J asked after hearing her response. "God, Kitty, if you killed yourself..." He got that grim look again. "I don't know what the fuck I'd do. But don't let me make you think that's wrong or anything." He wasn't very good at offering sympathy, he knew.
She sighed slightly, "God, J. I think about you everday for fuck's sake. Every fucking day. Not that I see you even half as much," she added as an after thought, "But, I, I just tell myself.. you'd get over it.. you'd find someone else.. I'm unfaithful anyways, even if it's not on my own free will," she added, referring to the diamond.
"You think it's that easy?" He asked, looking at her. "You know that you're the only person I have ever, fucking ever opened up to. Shit, I can't even screw around without thinking about you, thinking that you're the only one I want to be with." He went silent, thinking. "But then again, everyone I care about ends up going away."
"I don't want to go away!", she cried, "But I can't find another way.. I don't know any different anymore. I Love you J, I don't want to ever be without you, and I don;t want to hurt you, but whatever I do is, in some way, hurting you. I don't understand anymore, J. I hate myself. I'm always fucking up, and hurting people, hurting you, but I don't learn from it, I just screw up more.."
He sat back down on the side of the bed, taking her hand again. "Why don't you just try starting over? Forgetting everything you did wrong, leaving the past behind..." ... basically everything he did when he came to the U, really. "I don't know, since I'm probably the shittiest shrink-for-hire ever. Stop blaming yourself."
A few tears fell from her eyes, "I wish I knew how, J... I really wish I knew how.."
He reached up, wiped those tears away. Frustrated with himself because he was of no help, he didn't say anything.
She blushed very slightly, "God, J.. you must think I'm so.. so weak.. You almost.. only ever see me.. when I'm at my worst..."
"Of course I don't."
She didn't quite understand how that was possible, but she smiled weakly nonetheless. "I'm sorry. ...I.. I wanna..get better.. J, I really do.."
"Then try," he said, looking at her.
Kitty looked back at him for a moment before looking away. She nodded slowly, but then looked back at J, "..Y.. will you.. help me..?"
He smiled just a little; as much as he could in a hospital under these conditions. "Yeah. I will."
I am so undeserving of you, she thought, But I am so glad I have you,,
She gave him a weak, and semi-scared smile, "I Love You...", she whispered, she meant, not only "I Love you", but also "I'm sorry", and "thank you".
It was now he was reminded of how hard he found it to say those words. "I love you too." The look in his eyes said he was scared to say it, but he meant it.
Kitty smiled a bit more, she believed him, and hoped he knew it. "...What day is it anyways..?", an attempted to stear away from the topic..
"Wednesday," he replied. "The twenty-fifth."
"...You're joking, right?", she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Nope," he said, looking at her.
She started to sit up again, "I'm going home."
"What, now? You just woke up." He didn't want her passing out like she had again
"But it's been... like 5 days or something... or at least, the last day I remember was Thursday/Friday..", she reached over to take out her IVs.
He put a hand over her IVs, looking into her eyes. "You know that 'trying not to screw things up' thing? You leave before you get better and this'll just happen again."
Kitty went silent for a moment, and slowly laid back down, "...Okay.."
He glanced around the room. "I know it sucks to be in here, but the U's not in mortal peril or anything, so you can leave your superheroness here for a while to get better." He smiled a little.
"But you'll have to leave later, won't you..?", she asked, looking up at him.
"... probably, yeah."
"Okay...", she looked down for a moment, "How.. is the U holding up.. I haven't exactly seen anyone lately..?"
"I DON'T KNOW Well, same as usual." He shrugged.
Kitty nodded, "And.. how have you been.. it's been awhile,,"
"I've been fine. Nothing interesting going on."
"Sounds... fun..?", She was running out of things to say, which was kind of annoying.
"... yeah. Loads." He glanced out the window.
She followed his gaze, "You.. you can leave.. if you want.."
"I don't," he said, looking at her again.
"Okay.."
He looked at her, how tired she was, remembered what she'd been through. "... but I probably should."
She didn't really want him to go, but it probably was for the better... "Will.. will you make me..stay here much longer...?"
"Not too long," he said, "just until you get well enough that you at least look like you can keep food down." He squeezed her hand.
Kitty nodded again, "Alright.. I'll ..try my hardest.. okay?"
He nodded. "Okay."
She slowly, and reluctently, released his hand, and gave him a brave smile.
He leaned over, kissing her again before moving to the door. "Feel better."
"I will", she promised, the taste of J was now fresh on her lips again. Even if she didn't think she deserved to get better, she would. For J.
Giving her a last small smile, J opened the hospital door, leaving Kitty alone again.
..I'll stop raping your flists now ^^;