I am the eyes inside of you, staring back at you
Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes,
This is your life.
And today is all you've got now.
And today is all you've ever have.
21 days. It takes 21 days to pick up a habit. Set your alarm clock for 6 AM for 21, then on the 22nd, see if you dont wake up at 6 without it. 21 days. So Scott and I made a vow to stay away from 2 things that we have made a habit of. Livejournal for me, playstation for him. And here it is a month later and I am finally getting on. I have been out of the LJ loop, I guess (and really, thats sad because I knew of next to nothing that was going on) and I am way too far gone to try to read everyone else's. But I find myself compelled to write.
I've been keeping a journal since the beggining of this year pretty consistently. The other night, instead of writing, I just spent an hour reading everything I've written. Its remarkable, and awe inspiring to see the changes in my life. The ways God has worked in my life.
I swore up and down that this would be the best summer of my life so far, that everything would be awesome and there would be fun times had by all with no worries. Well, as I talked on the phone with Ricky about 2 or 3 weeks ago, he said something that has stayed with me. He said, I guess this summer hasn't really been as cool as you thought it would. I said, yeah it has been for me. Of course, thats when it hit me. I pictured a wonderful summer, always hanging out with the guys, running around, and general goofing off. I don't know exactly what I pictured, but this wasn't it. And then I realized what I had. I have been having the best summer of my life. Period. I have been smiling from the start of this summer, and will continue to until the day I leave.
I have met all these new wonderful people from 2 different churches, both Kingwood and Shelby Crossings. The bible study has been such a blessing in my life. Getting to know Blakley as more than that goofy kid I used to think of was.....interesting. Im just playing. She is an amazing person. Meeting and hanging out with Scott Golden has been awesome. I believe God has brought us together to be best friends for a reason. We compliment each other, complete opposites in some respects, but common in our love for God. Its a new experience to have a friend to be accountable to on every aspect of my life. And to be able to just chill with him and have fun or get serious and talk about God and pray. Its awesome.
And Katie. Well, she is an angel on my shoulder. She has been a true blessing in my life. I can't stop smiling when we are around each other. All 4 of us (Scott and Blakley included) have a good time.
And I have been so busy that today is the first time, literally, that I've been able to sit down. The first time in awhile that I haven't had any plans really. But Im sure something will come up.
So, I have been going to those two different churches, and they are both amazing, but I know my home isnt there. I struggled with the thought of going back to Auburn all summer. There was about a week where I was sure I wasn't, and I started making plans. But God is leading me back there. I want to get involved in the ministry there, and I will. I was nervous for awhile. But I realized that I could do it. I am strong in my faith, stonger than I have been my whole life. God has been working in my life so much this summer, enough to show me that He indeed has in hand in everything and that His presence is in me. I am strong enough to support my faith, but not just my faith. That of my brothers and sisters in Christ as well. I am probably going to have to face temptation face to face in Auburn, but I am prepared for it.
Nothing really bothers me anymore. I am armed with the knowledge I am following God's path for my life. That he is with me, and that he has plans for my life. I am made stong through Him. Isaiah 41:10.
I have surrendered it all to Him.
And I would encourage everyone reading this who hasn't to do as well. I know, I know. I used to read this stuff in other people's journal and wanted to vomit. I've been there. I've been down that road. It doesn't end well. But I have changed, and am that much better for it.
I am planing on talking to a friend sometime soon about his faith, and I can only pray for God's guidance, as I have prayed for this friend for most of the summer. I've seen people come to Christ and turn their backs on their old friends, but I wont do that. That's precisely when they need you the most. And I will not abandon a friend.
I know this has all been random, but I am going to tie it all up soon. But I had a moment when I was on my way to a campsite yesterday. Scott and I were driving to Oak Mountain. It was blazing as it has been for awhile, and we had the windows rolled down. But the sun was slowly falling in the sky. It made me so humble and yet so grateful, because at that point I realized how blessed in my life I was, and I thanked God quietly.
And here I am. I never said that I wasn't going to post again, but I was considering it. I haven't much use for this thing anymore, and I will probably be deleting it soon. The only reason why I am not going to yet is that I have a few more things to say that I hope to reach someone. Just a few more posts now, I guess.
I am not being led by my own hand these days, anyhow.
Romans 8:38