A Change..
So, today I wrote my application for university, still got a few things to do, but I did the main part.
I'm really glad that I could finally do it, but on the other hand it makes me really anxious what to expect.
Going back to a school is kinda cool, because it was always okay for me, but I'm afraid that it'll change. It just makes me wonder if I can handle it. I've never done anyhing for school. I have learnt stuff for my oral examination, but that's it. I think I'm too lazy to actually do something, and probably to arrogant to think that I can do it without.
I'm afraid that I'm going to be really bad at this, because I don't wanna be bad.
The funny things is that i've always been pretty good at school, but they never let me do any competitions, ebcause they thought I've had no inetrested in it at all. Wrong. I always listened to them ramble about their subject, even though I was half asleep. I wasn't even really tired, my blood pressure is just that low, that I'm exhausted most of the time.
I'm happy to get to know a few more people, because in the past year I foudn out that some of my friends really suck. OR maybe I'm just too emotional about things lately.
Everyone asks me why I have no boyfriend. Well, I've have no room in mind for myself, how should a boyfriend fit in? We'll see.
Anyways, after doing this application I kinda feel free. Not really free, but more free than I felt during the past year.
I hope it'll continue to get better, since I know people can tell that sometimes my smile isn't real. I don't even know why, I sometimes look sad, even though I'm happy.
But I'm happy about this week. It's going to be so cool.
Friday I'm going to my mom's friend, it's her b-day. That's not fucking amazing I know, but I spent the most time of my childhood with her daughter, and her as well. It's kinda cool to go back in time.
Saturday is my friend's birthday party. I hope the weather is nice. That will be exhausting, since I'm going to meet up with bree on Sunday and we're going to see BEN KWELLER! Excited about that, but I think the train journey will be about drinking coffee.