[Why did he feel like talking? Up until recently he'd been concerned with secrecy--he'd finally let himself be honest with Issei, but he wasn't eager to let anything about himself or the Holy Grail War become common knowledge
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[The fact remained that Lancer didn't like Kiritsugu. How could he? But much of what bothered him now was bitterness and anger he didn't wish to have at all. It wouldn't have suited a knight to be cruel to even those he disliked, so of course he would at least be civil.]
...I know. That doesn't change the fact that it's what I want regardless.
[Though he would never admit it himself, Kiritsugu is, in a way, similar to Lancer. He lived for the benefit of others, and paid dearly for it.]
[However, he has now recognized that. Whereas the former assassin painfully fights off his desire to help others day after day, Lancer still seems to revel in it.]
[Truthfully, Emiya Kiritsugu would like to know how such an ideal can survive in one's mind.]
[Lancer didn't reply immediately, idly turning the folded pair of glasses over in his hand as he thought. That was a question far easier to ask than it was to answer. Never mind that it was asked by someone associated with the anger Lancer was struggling to discard. But he had to think for a moment, and provide an honest answer with all the composure he could manage.]
Because...even if all I should do is suffer pain of death and failure a thousand times over, it would be worth it if I could make even just one person happy.
If I could have even one individual think of me favorably as one who has improved their life, then I would gladly accept any suffering I would need to endure for that purpose.
[Ah... didn't he hear something like this before?]
[Right. A long time ago, when he still knew the people who composed his childhood. This sounds like something he would have said back then. Then again, upon further consideration, that belief lasted even until that fateful speech in the warehouse where he proclaimed his dedication to saving the world. It's ironic that he would contemplate that moment in front of Lancer, of all people.]
[What... happened? How could things go so wrong that the flame of that desire almost died?]
[It took conscious effort to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but he managed. Could humans honestly disrespect the honor of knights as easily as they had done in Fuyuki?]
[Kiritsugu's tone does have the slightest trace of resentment, although it's mainly stained with an amazing amount of wariness. This event may be making him more talkative, but that doesn't change his history with Lancer.]
Interesting. I've taken part in that way of thinking.
[...Okay, no, that was definitely way more than he should have said.]
Is that right? I'd kind of assumed most from your time didn't.
[...That seemed oddly talkative. Lancer obviously didn't know Kiritsugu well at all, but that didn't quite match up with the impression he'd gotten. Add in his own strange desire to speak so honestly, and he had to wonder.]
...tell me, are you also feeling oddly compelled to speak more than usual?
['Also'. If the fact that he's starting to consider talking to Saber didn't confirm it, that does. Could this be some sort of magecraft? If so, it's simply a matter of closing the video, but he'll have to do more than that if he wants to get to the bottom of this.]
I can't say I have too many answers this time. It's not like anything that's happened so far in my experience, but I can't speak for everyone. And I don't believe I would put anything unusual past a city like this.
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...I know. That doesn't change the fact that it's what I want regardless.
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[Though he would never admit it himself, Kiritsugu is, in a way, similar to Lancer. He lived for the benefit of others, and paid dearly for it.]
[However, he has now recognized that. Whereas the former assassin painfully fights off his desire to help others day after day, Lancer still seems to revel in it.]
[Truthfully, Emiya Kiritsugu would like to know how such an ideal can survive in one's mind.]
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Because...even if all I should do is suffer pain of death and failure a thousand times over, it would be worth it if I could make even just one person happy.
If I could have even one individual think of me favorably as one who has improved their life, then I would gladly accept any suffering I would need to endure for that purpose.
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[Right. A long time ago, when he still knew the people who composed his childhood. This sounds like something he would have said back then. Then again, upon further consideration, that belief lasted even until that fateful speech in the warehouse where he proclaimed his dedication to saving the world. It's ironic that he would contemplate that moment in front of Lancer, of all people.]
[What... happened? How could things go so wrong that the flame of that desire almost died?]
I see...
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[It took conscious effort to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but he managed. Could humans honestly disrespect the honor of knights as easily as they had done in Fuyuki?]
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[Kiritsugu's tone does have the slightest trace of resentment, although it's mainly stained with an amazing amount of wariness. This event may be making him more talkative, but that doesn't change his history with Lancer.]
Interesting. I've taken part in that way of thinking.
[...Okay, no, that was definitely way more than he should have said.]
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[...That seemed oddly talkative. Lancer obviously didn't know Kiritsugu well at all, but that didn't quite match up with the impression he'd gotten. Add in his own strange desire to speak so honestly, and he had to wonder.]
...tell me, are you also feeling oddly compelled to speak more than usual?
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I am. Has anything like this happened before?
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['Agreed' is still a little too strong a word to use with the Servant you helped kill.]
I won't be able to record them during the Dark Hour, so I'll see if I can use a vantage point to scout.
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