if I knew what I read - I'll send it half ways
Good stuff that happened on holiday in Langkawi:
- Reassured myself that I was, in fact, usefully engaged in work (instead of uselessly lolling about on the beach unsuccessfully trying to get a tan) by sketching ISLM and AS/AD diagrams on the beach (equilibrium points marked with shells) and then taking copious photos. This delusion that I am in fact a conscientious and worthwhile student with a bright future persisted about as long as my tan did (approx. 3 hours)
- MANGO CHUTNEY
- Swam approx. forty million laps in the hotel pool. Have no tan but at least sock mark is mostly eradicated
- Opened hotel door late one night to find a binturong sitting outside in the corridor!! We were staying in the Datai, which is nice, all open corridors and stonework and wood, and it is in the middle of the freaking jungle. HENCE THE WILDLIFE. The binturong chuckled at me and jumped off the railing to scale the (third-storey!) wall outside, then sat on the roof waving its long tail and scratching. I LOVE BINTURONGS they are so daft and snouty with their long black tails and silly faces and chuckles. Matthew was of course very pleased, which is also a good thing.
- What became my staple food: dark chocolate digestive biscuits. ummmmngh
- Bowl of fruits in hotel room stocked with tangerines, which I ate while running my bath in the evenings. I LOVE TANGERINES. oranges are not the only fruit!!! ha ha ha
- Spent some time with Mum tossing shorea seeds off the balcony until we tired of this whimsical (though admittedly imbecilic) pastime and went for a walk through the jungle. Also the beach! where we unsuccessfully tried to locate the message Matthew had left for me ("HI SIS!") earlier that morning
- Long elegant dressing gown/kimono/bathrobe thing in the hotel room (what was it made of! not flannel or terrycloth. AN ALTOGETHER MYSTERIOUS FABRIC!) that I took to wearing all the time in the room, over my clothes (which I think defeats the purpose), billowing majestically
- binturong!!!
Unfortunate aspects of my holiday in Langkawi:
- jellyjellyjellyjellyjellyfishfishfishfishfish
- Forgot to bring my hairbrush ._. whatever okay I was like I'm cultivating a bedhead Mum was like don't go out in public then (but lent me her hairbrush in the end, so that was okay)
- Frogs EVERYWHERE they like stick themselves to the walls like lizards, I was like hey Matthew watch out, he's like what where and this frog jumps onto his leg and he screams like a girl. I did warn you
- Ate so much moussaka I nearly died, it was awesome
- Read We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver, excellent, now I will never reproduce
- By the very nature of holidaytaking, did no work, have just thrown away my bright future, may as well stop reading Sloman and resign myself to my life career of being a bum, scrounging for change, etc.
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Yesterday I had an orthodontist appointment in town (my best excuse for "dropping by" the shops, reasonably guilt-free) and I am freaking getting my braces off by the third week of July, thank god, I've been whining for this day to come for months now, it is gratifying to see that my ... diplomatic pressure has paid off. Now I will be able to masquerade as an adult with greater conviction! Nothing like toothbraces to reveal you as a tormented adolescent rather than a useful member of society. I forsee a future in which I am very happy, my activities unfettered by ridiculous toothbraces, my smile unmarred by the hilarious apparatus of orthodontic treatment, flossing once more a viable option, a future in which acey and I have a control variable (viz. y.h.n.) for our "braces as chastity belt" hypothesis, ha ha, also, I must confess, what has been the most trying aspect of this orthodontic treatment, viz. having to piously refuse chewing gum whenever it is offered (and it is always offered, for some reason) for fear it will rend my braces from my molars and necessitate an extra few months wearing the damn things. yay!
And I have been back for two days now!! No work has been done! I have been lounging about eating seedless grapes, consumed with guilt. If there were a food chain of consumption I suppose it would look like, Guilt <-- Karen <-- seedless grapes. shit no is that right? I can't even remember which way the food chain arrows are supposed to go. Well anyway guilt is at the top of the food chain (consuming me) and seedless grapes are at the bottom, occupying plankton's usual space (whilom, when I did biology, I used to think plankton got a sort of raw deal. don't they ever eat anything?) Okay, to stave off my guilt:
Stuff I have done:
- BOTH my Othello and my Pride and Prejudice Lit essays. a magnificent feat!!!
- ISLM and AS/AD analysis
THAT'S ABOUT IT REALLY
Stuff to do by the end of the week:
- Go over ISLM and AS/AD analysis again, as they have fallen out of my head faster than I put them in
- Type out UN notes and start mugging for SBQ, as it may be the only thing that rescues my History grade
- Finish my Docherty economic history notes, as everyone else has, except ... actually, which no one else has, but I'm sick of doing them and want them over with
- Start mugging Unemployment (ha ha! a grim harbinger!) or Inflation (or Terms of Trade? god I'm hopeful)
- ha ha oh god I'm never going to do my History H3 am I!
Stuff I am leaving, dangerously, til after the holidays:
- Literature: as Mr B frighteningly points out to me (drawing I suppose a backhandedly complimentary contrast to Economics, ha ha, which as we all know is not exactly the light of my academic life) I possibly don't even need to study for Lit, just go in and take the paper (this isn't strictly correct, but um in spirit it is accurate!) (whereas, of course, for Economics I'm fucked) Having said this however he didn't change the block test schedule, which in retrospect is good, as I now have four days free before the Lit block test, which is, I say with uncommon and baseless bravado, more than enough. How long does one need to highlight a few quotations and read a few critical essays? I laugh in the face of danger! ... I hold highlighter party with my friend Amanda Chong, then everything will be okay. even if we do spend most of these marathon highlighter parties shooting the shit (ha! an unfortunate metaphor in this context) and discussing our worldviews more than the texts at hand.
- KI IS, which I won't start on til after the block tests! I have all my research collated but I also have my History H3 to do! If I could go back in time to last year, when I stood balanced on the precipice of academic sanity, I would pull myself back from the edge (before I fell into the abyss of "perpetual work backlog and no sleep for the whole first term") and point out the foolishness of even considering 2 H3s on top of taking KI considering my many and varied and incompatible Other Commitments, e.g. Litwing, Sleep, Actually Having a Life. And then I would strangle myself, just to be sure.
If ever anyone needed supporting evidence for the maxim that hope springs eternal in the human breast, or simply for the capacity for eternal optimism of mankind, one need look no further than y.h.n., or indeed no further than the above to-do list. rational expectations theory is plainly nonsense, or at least it is where I am concerned - I don't think I have within recent memory met a deadline I've set for myself, which either bespeaks extremely high standards (I like to think) or plain insanity. or ETERNAL OPTIMISM!!! yet I continue to write hopeful little to-do lists! you should see the other eternally optimistic to-do lists I have, heh heh, oh god, anyway. anyway man I think I should get a medal or something, there is something rather endearing in my doomed optimism, it moves me to tears and poetry, - which may be why I never get any work done. SHIT
Unrelated: I have no money with which to fund my activities. WHY? HOW MAY I OBTAIN SOME? Please advise. I went to Kinokuniya the other day and the sight of all these plump, juicy books that I cannot afford made me weep bitter tears. I had to stand at the window with my face pressed against the glass, all blue with cold, gazing upon the tender succulence of this book of playscripts of which I am MOST desirous. to no avail!! fiddlesticks!!! I will never be hungry again! tomorrow is another day! feh, in sum, I am a) broke and b) academically worthless but on the upside I am c) getting my teeth back and d) I saw a binturong while I was on holiday. THE END