and I want you here by my heart and my head / I can't start til I'm dead
Summary of my approx. state of mind right now: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Summary of Karen's present financial status (after the adventures of the last three nights): 0
Was it worth it: totally
What the hell was in those cocktails: what the HELL was in those cocktails???
Why were you drinking cocktails anyway: I can drink anything I goddamn like
Do you like cocktails: sometimes
Maia-hii: maia-huu
HOW much of a lightweight are you, Karen Lee: really a very light lightweight
Are you optimistic about your prospects: yes
What prospects, particularly: everything
Why: that's what 'drowning your sorrows' is supposed to be all about
REALISTICALLY are you optimistic about your prospects: no I'm fucked
History H3: is kicking my ass and
Nobody: loves me
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I did enjoy my stint of continuous drinking and dinnering. It has been kind of surreal but nice, the sordid details of which are will be of little interest to you (or else of embarrassment to me, so let's move on). Printably, Friday night in CHIJMES with Nic and Saturday night with Seema drinking an exceptionally large margarita (followed by a number of slightly nasty-tasting but very potent drinks). I am doubly doomed by my lightweightery as well as my financial destitution, two factors that combine deliciously to doom me: forgoing dinner to save money for alcohol; drinking said alcohol faster than advisable so as to get on to subsequent drink before end of happy hour; general nondrinker status, really I think all that keeps me walking upright is ... strength of mind and ... willpower! acknowledgements also to whomever is propping me up at the time. No I'm exaggerating!!! my money ran out before that. But my sorrows were good and drowned.
... Events of my academic life! I say studiously. PSC fair on Saturday, ELDDFS exco interviews Saturday and Monday. Attended both only faintly hungover (but glowing with health). Actually I am lying, I never get hungover, to which end the latter half of Saturday night found me in Seema's bedroom methodically drinking glassful after glassful of water so as to be in a fit state to go home. So, just glowing with health! And both events were unexceptionable - PSC fair notable mainly for the free stationery (which will keep me supplied til the end of the year, I think!) and the many exciting miscellaneous freebies and ELDDFS exco interviews for the ... actually I think we should all be locked up, we are a menace.
Friday afternoon I went to the orthodontist and got weird stuff added to my braces, major implication, I can no longer happily eat real food. Help! I am subsisting on a diet of porridge, jelly and yoghurt. By the time I get my braces off (morning of the 19th) I will be so gaunt/waiflike I will be doubly glamorous. Oh the places you'll go! I am counting the days.
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Woke up on Sunday morning and bravely turned my attention to the huge stack of foreign policy documents from the 1970s - 80s that are my primary sources for History H3. I am such a moron! I have this stack of research that is an inch thick and breaks every copyright law there is, a 3500 maximum word limit, undone interviews, and a grim sense of foreboding. Also the beginnings of alcoholism, and no money. GREAT. I am all set for university. ASSUMING I SURVIVE THAT LONG. (first-tier major assumption) ASSUMING THEY'LL HAVE ME (second-tier major assumption) SHIT
My History H3 really is some kind of nightmare. Change and continuity, factors shaping Singapore's foreign policy towards Russia, 1970 - 2000. Just to understand what the hell is going on I have so far referred to my class notes on the Cold War (Vietnam War); Southeast Asian Nation-Building (Indonesia); the UN (the Suez Crisis) and I am beginning to face up to the reality of my own ... no! I persevere! By Sunday I will have finished not only my History H3 (sans interviews) but my KI IS, tarararara, IT SHALL BE DONE! I haven't even looked at my KI IS. Gruesome! But I continue undaunted! Sleep is for the weak! I am pure of heart! I have enough free stationery from the PSC to accommodate ten research papers! I have potentially consumed more alcohol in the past week than I have in all the previous years of my life! My liver may fail BUT MY QUEST SHALL NOT!!! Onward!
PSA: Today during Lit class for poetry comparison, the word I was carefully avoiding was 'masturbatory'. ADMIT IT YOU WERE THINKING THE SAME THING