in other news my voice is still gone; this is the product of my fevered delirium
Necessarily under a cut-tag:
BEING AN ACCOUNT OF THE ADVENTURES OF AMANDA CHONG AND KAREN LEE
OR, WHY WE HAVEN'T FINISHED TYPING OUT OUR HISTORY LECTURE NOTES
OR, A LITTLE PUBLIC HEALTH EDUCATION GOES A LONG WAY
OR, WHY JIAN YANG'S ONLY OPTION NOW IS HOMOSEXUALITY
Amanda: (omg my boob hurts)
Amanda:(like i have a small biting pain from the core of my boob)
Amanda:(like there's some sort of animal in there. gnawing away at the insides)
Amanda:(it sort of throbs)
Amanda:(and bites)
Amanda: if i wake up tmr with half a boob you know what happened)
Karen: oh man. shit!
Karen: IS IT LUMPY
Karen: check if your boob is lumpy
Amanda: SHIT MAYBE I HAVE BREAST CANCER
Amanda: WHAT DO YOU MEAN LUMPY
Karen: PALPATE THE BOOB
Karen: do you feel any like IRREGULAR LUMPS
Amanda: what do you mean
Amanda: like
Amanda: squish it FLAT
Amanda: like DOWNWARD
Karen: NO
Amanda: sideways?
Amanda goes to look this up.
Amanda: eew
Amanda: your boob sort of has this CORE OF HARD MUSCLE
Amanda: "The lower half of your breast can feel like a sandy or pebbly beach. The area under the nipple can feel like a collection of large grains. Another part might feel like a lumpy bowl of oatmeal."
Amanda: ROFLLLL
Karen: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Karen: WHAT KIND OF BOOBS DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE
Amanda:I HAVE NO IDEA. THIS IS DAMN FUNNY
Amanda: "What's important is that you get to know the look and feel of YOUR breasts' various neighborhoods. Does something stand out as different from the rest (like a rock on a sandy beach)? Has anything changed? "
Karen feels the need to verify these bizarre claims.
Karen: hey are your boobs porous like a sandy beach
Karen: I'm a bit perturbed
Jian Yang: WHAT THE FUCK
Jian Yang: THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING
Jian Yang: SHUT UP
Karen: all I want to know is
Karen: are your boobs porous like a sandy beach
Karen: or grainy like a sack of rice
Karen: or like a lumpy bowl of oatmeal
Jian Yang: shut up
Jian Yang: that
Jian Yang: is fucking disgusting
Jian Yang: what the FUCK
Jian Yang: is wrong
Jian Yang: with you
Jian Yang: FUCK
Jian Yang: FUCK YOU
Jian Yang: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr
Amanda: both of my boobs feel the same, sort of like a porous pumice stone. and only the right one hurts so i guess it isnt a lump.
Karen: this is such a screwed up conversation
Karen: I'm sure my boob doesn't feel like a porous pumice stone
Amanda: what does it feel like!
Amanda: a sandy beach!
Amanda: a bag of long-grained rice?
Karen: no man why is everyone's boob so bizarre
Karen: my boobs are like
Karen: pleasantly
Karen: this is such a screwed up conversation
----------
Karen: I should totally LJ this conversation
Karen: I am going to LJ this conversation
Amanda: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Karen: this will totally
Karen: avenge the time
Karen: you called my womb
Karen: a "cheap motel"
Amanda: IT WOULD RUIN MY REPUTATION
Amanda: AS A PARAGON OF VIRTUE
Amanda: are you currently
Amanda: insidiously
Amanda: ljing
Amanda: behind my back
BEING AN ACCOUNT OF THE ADVENTURES OF AMANDA CHONG AND KAREN LEE
OR, WHY WE HAVEN'T FINISHED TYPING OUT OUR HISTORY LECTURE NOTES
OR, A LITTLE PUBLIC HEALTH EDUCATION GOES A LONG WAY
OR, WHY JIAN YANG'S ONLY OPTION NOW IS HOMOSEXUALITY
Amanda: (omg my boob hurts)
Amanda:(like i have a small biting pain from the core of my boob)
Amanda:(like there's some sort of animal in there. gnawing away at the insides)
Amanda:(it sort of throbs)
Amanda:(and bites)
Amanda: if i wake up tmr with half a boob you know what happened)
Karen: oh man. shit!
Karen: IS IT LUMPY
Karen: check if your boob is lumpy
Amanda: SHIT MAYBE I HAVE BREAST CANCER
Amanda: WHAT DO YOU MEAN LUMPY
Karen: PALPATE THE BOOB
Karen: do you feel any like IRREGULAR LUMPS
Amanda: what do you mean
Amanda: like
Amanda: squish it FLAT
Amanda: like DOWNWARD
Karen: NO
Amanda: sideways?
Amanda goes to look this up.
Amanda: eew
Amanda: your boob sort of has this CORE OF HARD MUSCLE
Amanda: "The lower half of your breast can feel like a sandy or pebbly beach. The area under the nipple can feel like a collection of large grains. Another part might feel like a lumpy bowl of oatmeal."
Amanda: ROFLLLL
Karen: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Karen: WHAT KIND OF BOOBS DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE
Amanda:I HAVE NO IDEA. THIS IS DAMN FUNNY
Amanda: "What's important is that you get to know the look and feel of YOUR breasts' various neighborhoods. Does something stand out as different from the rest (like a rock on a sandy beach)? Has anything changed? "
Karen feels the need to verify these bizarre claims.
Karen: hey are your boobs porous like a sandy beach
Karen: I'm a bit perturbed
Jian Yang: WHAT THE FUCK
Jian Yang: THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING
Jian Yang: SHUT UP
Karen: all I want to know is
Karen: are your boobs porous like a sandy beach
Karen: or grainy like a sack of rice
Karen: or like a lumpy bowl of oatmeal
Jian Yang: shut up
Jian Yang: that
Jian Yang: is fucking disgusting
Jian Yang: what the FUCK
Jian Yang: is wrong
Jian Yang: with you
Jian Yang: FUCK
Jian Yang: FUCK YOU
Jian Yang: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr
Amanda: both of my boobs feel the same, sort of like a porous pumice stone. and only the right one hurts so i guess it isnt a lump.
Karen: this is such a screwed up conversation
Karen: I'm sure my boob doesn't feel like a porous pumice stone
Amanda: what does it feel like!
Amanda: a sandy beach!
Amanda: a bag of long-grained rice?
Karen: no man why is everyone's boob so bizarre
Karen: my boobs are like
Karen: pleasantly
Karen: this is such a screwed up conversation
----------
Karen: I should totally LJ this conversation
Karen: I am going to LJ this conversation
Amanda: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Karen: this will totally
Karen: avenge the time
Karen: you called my womb
Karen: a "cheap motel"
Amanda: IT WOULD RUIN MY REPUTATION
Amanda: AS A PARAGON OF VIRTUE
Amanda: are you currently
Amanda: insidiously
Amanda: ljing
Amanda: behind my back