I mean, I sent you like four, but whatever
I’ve been thinking a lot of my uncle’s suicide.
I wonder if he was able to have children. I don’t know that I am or not, but it seems to me that 8 years without birth control and no children is obviously a sign.
Hayley just had number 3, a girl, Basil. I am feeling extremely inadequate. Most days I spend indifferent to life. I don’t necessarily want to end it, but I picture my death everywhere. Falling down stairs, car crash, random accidents. I wonder if I die, do I start over? And if I don’t, I’m definitely going to hell.
I’ve always thought that the problem with reincarnation is that there weren’t always this many people. If we are reincarnated, how do new people come about? Maybe we are split in order to fulfill all of the new bodies. Maybe that’s why I am sad, maybe I’m missing a part of me that made me whole.