Comments | thewindforest: Brigit's Flame February Entry #3: Witch Hole (Pt 2)

thewindforest

Brigit's Flame February Entry #3: Witch Hole (Pt 2)

Feb 21, 2010 15:13

Brigits Flame February 2010 Entry #3

Prompt: If It Ain't Broke . . .

Genre: Fantasy

Word Count: 2,262

Teaser: Continued from last week- Four children await their fate, trapped on the edge of a haunted forest as night falls.

( In which is revealed the truth of Maislin's hatred of the weirdlings, and the darkness Adelle nurtures in her own heart. . . )

Comments 6

rephen February 22 2010, 11:14:28 UTC

AAH. Next week conclusion! AAah. Nice cliffhanger, there. Hahah.

I like how the two sides really came to blow in this piece. Can feel the conflict running within Maislin, in particular, but really in all of the characters. Adelle and Maristat and Ashton, really intriguing development! Didn't that earth opening up undernearh them coming at all. Great pace, and the dialog had a snappy rhythm to it. I look forward to the conclusion!!

thewindforest February 24 2010, 18:04:35 UTC

Thank you very much for your continued support! I am glad that you enjoyed the action, and that the conflict within Maislin came across well. I definitely want to write him a bit more complex than the flat "bully" stereotype. I am also glad that the revelation of how the kids got in the pit is a surprise :D Even if I don't make it into the final round I will definitely write the conclusion as a JFF entry. Thank you once again for all your wonderful comments and continued interest!

vyvyan_wilde February 23 2010, 14:12:53 UTC

Witch Hole is such a cool title :3

I didn't expect the earth to open up either; that was very creative, and rather scary.
This is my favortie line- "I drink in the intimacy of you three like the wine of envy." The poetic resentment there is so powerful.. nicely done.

thewindforest February 24 2010, 18:11:16 UTC

I'm glad you like the title, and very pleased that the wolf snare continues to surprise :D Adelle has a rather dark, poetic soul, much beyond her years; I am happy that you enjoyed that line, as it is probably one of the most telling statements of her character. Thank you very much for your comments!

missflyer February 24 2010, 15:48:47 UTC

Nice(?) surprise that Maislin was looking for the traps' trigger, and was not as fully under Adelle's spell as first thought. The dialog was interesting, with the back and forth between Adelle and the triplets. And I really like the "sturdy wisteria" -- it's a nice touch; most others would just say "ivy" or allude to some sort of rope.
-wants to know who the figure is-

thewindforest February 24 2010, 18:21:19 UTC

Thank you for your comments! I'm really happy to see that all my surprises regarding the "witch hole" itself went off as I'd hoped, and also glad that the dialog was enjoyable and hope that it enhanced readers' understanding of the "weirdlings" and their characters. *grin* I have a powerful wisteria vine growing on one of my larger trees, which was the inspiration for that choice. And you will definitely find out the identity of the figure in the concluding piece, as he is very important to the larger story :D