I rock too fast for love, I'm footloose in my velcro shoes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day. That stupid excuse for a holiday. But actually I'm not as bitter as I usually am, or as I thought I would be this year...
I'm kind of in an interesting situation. This quarter I'm learning a lot about relationships and my point of view on them is changing dramatically... When I was in high school, I thought that every single kiss or mutual feeling of attraction would automatically lead to a full-fledged relationship. Boyfriend/girlfriend type of thing. That's all I ever knew. In my first two "relationships," we called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend before we even had our first kiss. So imagine my surprise and semi-heartbreak when I had my first "fling" and realized this guy wasn't going to be my boyfriend.
Anyway, two years later, I'm learning a lot about attraction and sexuality and the concept of a relationship. And I've realized what exactly that word entails, and that OH MY GOD I don't want that! I'm barely 20! Why would I want to be in some commitment that will eventually a)end up in one/both of us getting hurt and the relationship ending, or b)marriage (which will mean I'm with this person for the rest of my life starting now, or we'll get a divorce... both options sound kind of shitty to me). Eventually I will want that, oh God will I want that, with a family and everything, but for now I want to enjoy being young and free and single and lalalala.
I think this new outlook has been influenced by my Psych of Human Sexuality class, and the fact I watched Shortbus for the first time yesterday... hahah. :-\
-shrug- Meh. Whatever.
I'm currently eating the biggest grapefruit I have ever seen... It is literally the size of a small child's head. INSANE. I could only eat half... I feel kind of bad though because it was really cute and now it's all naked and broken and I feel like I killed something. I think Kellen's veganism is rubbing off on me. Which I know does not make sense because it is a fruit. But I wanted to draw a face on it and everything... :(
Geez, what is wrong with me today?
Hopefully tonight I'll be seeing The Senate (a really neat acoustic Seattle-based band...check them out!) perform for free at one of the dorm buildings. Then the girls and I are going to get ice cream. We're going to drown our singleness sorrows with vanilla and chocolate and sprinkles. But maybe I'll just get some bubble tea because of my new philosophy. hahah.
You know what? Screw the philosophy. I want a valentine. Just today. Please. (I even know who I want it to be...)
I'm kind of in an interesting situation. This quarter I'm learning a lot about relationships and my point of view on them is changing dramatically... When I was in high school, I thought that every single kiss or mutual feeling of attraction would automatically lead to a full-fledged relationship. Boyfriend/girlfriend type of thing. That's all I ever knew. In my first two "relationships," we called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend before we even had our first kiss. So imagine my surprise and semi-heartbreak when I had my first "fling" and realized this guy wasn't going to be my boyfriend.
Anyway, two years later, I'm learning a lot about attraction and sexuality and the concept of a relationship. And I've realized what exactly that word entails, and that OH MY GOD I don't want that! I'm barely 20! Why would I want to be in some commitment that will eventually a)end up in one/both of us getting hurt and the relationship ending, or b)marriage (which will mean I'm with this person for the rest of my life starting now, or we'll get a divorce... both options sound kind of shitty to me). Eventually I will want that, oh God will I want that, with a family and everything, but for now I want to enjoy being young and free and single and lalalala.
I think this new outlook has been influenced by my Psych of Human Sexuality class, and the fact I watched Shortbus for the first time yesterday... hahah. :-\
-shrug- Meh. Whatever.
I'm currently eating the biggest grapefruit I have ever seen... It is literally the size of a small child's head. INSANE. I could only eat half... I feel kind of bad though because it was really cute and now it's all naked and broken and I feel like I killed something. I think Kellen's veganism is rubbing off on me. Which I know does not make sense because it is a fruit. But I wanted to draw a face on it and everything... :(
Geez, what is wrong with me today?
Hopefully tonight I'll be seeing The Senate (a really neat acoustic Seattle-based band...check them out!) perform for free at one of the dorm buildings. Then the girls and I are going to get ice cream. We're going to drown our singleness sorrows with vanilla and chocolate and sprinkles. But maybe I'll just get some bubble tea because of my new philosophy. hahah.
You know what? Screw the philosophy. I want a valentine. Just today. Please. (I even know who I want it to be...)