Psychobabble
Title: Psychobabble
Author: theyaoiwildcard
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jongyu (Jonghyun/Jinki)
Genre: Psychological, Romance
Word Count: 1791
Disclaimer: I don't own these boys, lucky for them too.
Summary: In which Jinki may have lost it.
-
Vol. I
-
As Jonghyun opened the door to the apartment he shared with his fellow band mates he quickly became confused. The entire apartment was pitch black - which was strange because Jinki and Taemin always insisted on leaving at least one light one - save for the thin stream of white light passing through a crack from the bathroom door. Jonghyun slowly entered the darkness, carefully closing the door behind him as he groped for the light switch, maybe he was the only one here - well him and whoever was in the bathroom, if someone was there. When Jonghyun thought about it, the darkness was something Taemin and Kibum just plain avoided while Minho wouldn't care and Jinki would opt to avoid it if he was not trying to sleep, the elder would say things along the lines of the darkness causing people to injure themselves - that was true on its own - or it making everything move from where it was and other things Jonghyun knew Jinki had just made up on the spot because Jonghyun had asked for a reason as to why they should leave a light on and everyone looked to Jinki for an answer. It was a rather pointless conversation really, but it was still there.
It was how Jonghyun could guess something was off with this entire scenario.
Jonghyun’s fingers finally hit the switch and light flooded the area. The brunet dropped his bag at the foot of a couch he passed as he made his way to the bathroom. As he got closer, he could hear sobbing and sound of something hitting a hard surface. Jonghyun wanted to remain calm, but he couldn't help it and he began rushing towards the sound. Perhaps he had watched one too many horror movies - even if what he should be doing according to those stories was running as far away from the strange sound as possible - but lately everyone has been tired and on edge, especially Jinki, he wouldn't be surprised if someone had been in there showering or something and they fell asleep and the shower head was now dangling and hitting against the wall or something and - Jonghyun slowed his footsteps a little and willed himself to calm down. He was being unreasonable, he thought as he pushed the ajar door wide open, he needed sleep.
The sight Jonghyun was met with only made him believe his earlier assumption even more - Kim Jonghyun needed sleep. He needed sleep because, surely, that wasn't Jinki leaning against the mirror, his pale face pressed against the emotionless glass as those tired eyes of his stared intently at his fist repeatedly hitting the slightly cracked surface - he almost looked like a ghost. Jinki's eyes shifted in the reflection and he saw Jonghyun standing at the doorway looking positively surprised. For a moment, Jinki's hair had completely blocked his face - Jinki's hair grew quickly, it had gotten pretty long - before it whipped to the side as he turned to look at Jonghyun, the younger seeing slight red streaks on Jinki's face as he cautiously approached the other, as if he were afraid Jinki would run away at any moment. Jinki just stared at Jonghyun as he slowly smiled at the other male, it was a strained, empty smile and Jonghyun didn't like it at all as he decided Jinki definitely needed sleep as well. As Jonghyun drew closer Jinki outstretched his arms, inviting the other to hold him, but Jonghyun was stopped as Jinki had suddenly grabbed his hands instead.
“Hyung?” Jonghyun questioned though, in all fairness and honesty, he had no right to. Jinki probably found some kind of solace in the gesture and Jonghyun was just being cruel by questioning it. They were together, weren't they? Why couldn't Jinki hold his hands?
“Jonghyun ah,” Jinki sounded detached from the world, calling Jonghyun's name with a vaporous intonation, the strange smile still on his lips, even those eyes that Jonghyun loved so much were beginning to look empty, “It's been a while since I was able to even stand this close to you. How's everything going?” Jinki walked a bit closer, stopping abruptly almost as if he had been told to remain where he was, unmoving, and when Jonghyun thought about it, Jinki was right, Jonghyun had mostly been out and about and if they were performing together as a group he wasn't interacting with Jinki - hell Taemin had been interacting with Jinki more than he had been recently and Taemin would usually rather focus on pulling off his dance moves flawlessly. The fact pierced Jonghyun like a bullet and he wanted to deny it - he wasn't there for Jinki for the longest while. Jonghyun remained silent, he couldn't think of anything to say, what could he say? Jinki just kept staring at Jonghyun, his grip on the other's hands tightening slowly, painfully, until Jinki's knuckles were white and Jonghyun felt a slight pain spark in his hands, he tried not to cringe.
“Hyung, you're-”
“Jonghyun ah,” Jinki interjected, “You know that I miss you too, right?” Jinki didn't sound as faraway as he had before, his voice was wavering and he was trembling slightly but his eyes seemed to be looking right through Jonghyun. Jinki's grip tightened and Jonghyun became worried again, surely the force Jinki was using was hurting him too. Jinki looked down at their hands - at his hands gripping Jonghyun's. “You know that, I love you too... right?”
“Of course I do...” Jonghyun tried to move his hands - just to touch his hyung in some way to reassure him - but Jinki wouldn't let him, he held the younger's hands firmly in place. “Don't be like this...” Jonghyun kept wriggling his hands, little by little, and eventually Jinki eased his grip before completely letting go of Jonghyun's now pained hands. Jinki looked away. Jonghyun gripped Jinki's shoulders, lightly shaking him. “Hyung, you're acting strange, let's try to calm down, alright?”
Jonghyun wasn't sure what he had done, honestly, but Jinki suddenly looked up at him - wide eyed, an offended look lining his features - and Jinki shoved him, sending Jonghyun reeling backwards.
“What?” Jinki rasped, “I'm not acting strange... I miss you, is that so hard to understand?” Jonghyun was still trying to regain his footing, he didn't expect Jinki to lash out at him, not yet any way. When Jonghyun was finally able to stand again he looked at Jinki who was wearing one of the most effective scowls Jonghyun had ever seen in his life - hostility was just dripping off of Jinki now and Jonghyun had never thought that this Jinki could exist.
“Can't you show me attention too?” Jinki asked slowly, dejectedly as his scowl melted into a look of hopelessness, “Show me attention like you show Taemin and Kibum- like you show everyone else.” Jinki was walking towards Jonghyun - slow, languid steps, almost as if he was just waiting for Jonghyun to try to run away just so he could chase him.
“Jinki...” And the addressed male suddenly smiled - seemingly pleased with the use of his name - yet the smile didn't reach his eyes, but Jonghyun continued, “...You know I like you the best.” Jinki seemed to consider his words for a mere fraction of a second before he was scowling at the younger again.
“Now you're lying...” Jinki growled, walking towards Jonghyun so suddenly that the latter took a few steps back and he was now in the corridor. Jonghyun held his arms up in defence, Jinki wasn't listening to him.
“No, Jinki, honest-”
“Liar!” Jinki yelled and he ran to Jonghyun who dashed up the corridor only to be met with a dead end. Jonghyun stopped and quickly turned around and Jinki didn't move from in front of the open door, he just looked in Jonghyun's direction, letting his sore eyes adjust to the darkness as he called to Jonghyun, “Jonghyun ah, you shouldn't run from the person who's trying to tell you something.”
“Jinki ah, you can tell me whatever you want.” Jonghyun replied, walking forward while Jinki inched towards him, a hollow chuckle escaping the elder's lips. Jonghyun's eyes adjusted and he saw that Jinki was still angry, he wasn't scowling any more but he was still on edge and Jonghyun could feel it. “Calm down a little...”
Jinki twitched, irritated, and he lunged at Jonghyun, the other stepping back a little before Jinki fell onto him, locking his arms around the other's neck, and Jonghyun's back collided with the wall, both him and Jinki quickly sliding to the floor. Jonghyun hissed in pain and Jinki shifted his body slightly off of Jonghyun's. When Jonghyun managed to catch a glimpse of Jinki's face from the slight light from the bathroom and the living area he saw that the elder had tears in the corners of his eyes, he would probably cry - emotional as he was - perhaps for the second time that night.
“Jonghyun ah, why are you like this?” Jinki then buried his face into the crook of Jonghyun's neck, Jinki's warmth and tears mingling with and seeping into Jonghyun's clothing, and he mumbled, a desperate, far gone plea, “Why can't you just love me..?” And then, all that Jinki had said - all that he had implied - came crashing down onto Jonghyun, and it was so much. Jinki was fragile, so fragile that he broke to this extent and Jonghyun had carelessly forgotten that.
What had Jonghyun done?
“Jinki... I do love you,” He felt Jinki's grip tighten, “I do love you, I was a complete idiot and I didn't show it enough... I'm sorry.” And it was almost as if those were the magic words as they had Jinki sobbing into Jonghyun's clothing, mumbling incoherent sentences and apologies, but Jonghyun couldn't bring himself to hold any of this against Jinki. A moment of weakness, a slight flaw, it was alright because they were only human.
Jonghyun wrapped his arms around the elder, telling him everything was fine and slowly willing Jinki away from insanity. Time passed them like that and slowly Jinki's sobs diminished into soft snores and Jonghyun realized he had fallen asleep. Jonghyun thought that this was fine, they could sleep here and when they woke up in the morning they could talk and sort everything out, they would be able to take away that much stress from their already tiring lives and go back to their happy little relationship.
It was with these thoughts that Jonghyun fell asleep.
-
omigosh fail drabble/fic omigosh So... LOLOL how do I justify this~ Written for thpeekaboo Please forgive me for the fail, I'll go crawl under a rock now.
Author: theyaoiwildcard
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jongyu (Jonghyun/Jinki)
Genre: Psychological, Romance
Word Count: 1791
Disclaimer: I don't own these boys, lucky for them too.
Summary: In which Jinki may have lost it.
-
Vol. I
-
As Jonghyun opened the door to the apartment he shared with his fellow band mates he quickly became confused. The entire apartment was pitch black - which was strange because Jinki and Taemin always insisted on leaving at least one light one - save for the thin stream of white light passing through a crack from the bathroom door. Jonghyun slowly entered the darkness, carefully closing the door behind him as he groped for the light switch, maybe he was the only one here - well him and whoever was in the bathroom, if someone was there. When Jonghyun thought about it, the darkness was something Taemin and Kibum just plain avoided while Minho wouldn't care and Jinki would opt to avoid it if he was not trying to sleep, the elder would say things along the lines of the darkness causing people to injure themselves - that was true on its own - or it making everything move from where it was and other things Jonghyun knew Jinki had just made up on the spot because Jonghyun had asked for a reason as to why they should leave a light on and everyone looked to Jinki for an answer. It was a rather pointless conversation really, but it was still there.
It was how Jonghyun could guess something was off with this entire scenario.
Jonghyun’s fingers finally hit the switch and light flooded the area. The brunet dropped his bag at the foot of a couch he passed as he made his way to the bathroom. As he got closer, he could hear sobbing and sound of something hitting a hard surface. Jonghyun wanted to remain calm, but he couldn't help it and he began rushing towards the sound. Perhaps he had watched one too many horror movies - even if what he should be doing according to those stories was running as far away from the strange sound as possible - but lately everyone has been tired and on edge, especially Jinki, he wouldn't be surprised if someone had been in there showering or something and they fell asleep and the shower head was now dangling and hitting against the wall or something and - Jonghyun slowed his footsteps a little and willed himself to calm down. He was being unreasonable, he thought as he pushed the ajar door wide open, he needed sleep.
The sight Jonghyun was met with only made him believe his earlier assumption even more - Kim Jonghyun needed sleep. He needed sleep because, surely, that wasn't Jinki leaning against the mirror, his pale face pressed against the emotionless glass as those tired eyes of his stared intently at his fist repeatedly hitting the slightly cracked surface - he almost looked like a ghost. Jinki's eyes shifted in the reflection and he saw Jonghyun standing at the doorway looking positively surprised. For a moment, Jinki's hair had completely blocked his face - Jinki's hair grew quickly, it had gotten pretty long - before it whipped to the side as he turned to look at Jonghyun, the younger seeing slight red streaks on Jinki's face as he cautiously approached the other, as if he were afraid Jinki would run away at any moment. Jinki just stared at Jonghyun as he slowly smiled at the other male, it was a strained, empty smile and Jonghyun didn't like it at all as he decided Jinki definitely needed sleep as well. As Jonghyun drew closer Jinki outstretched his arms, inviting the other to hold him, but Jonghyun was stopped as Jinki had suddenly grabbed his hands instead.
“Hyung?” Jonghyun questioned though, in all fairness and honesty, he had no right to. Jinki probably found some kind of solace in the gesture and Jonghyun was just being cruel by questioning it. They were together, weren't they? Why couldn't Jinki hold his hands?
“Jonghyun ah,” Jinki sounded detached from the world, calling Jonghyun's name with a vaporous intonation, the strange smile still on his lips, even those eyes that Jonghyun loved so much were beginning to look empty, “It's been a while since I was able to even stand this close to you. How's everything going?” Jinki walked a bit closer, stopping abruptly almost as if he had been told to remain where he was, unmoving, and when Jonghyun thought about it, Jinki was right, Jonghyun had mostly been out and about and if they were performing together as a group he wasn't interacting with Jinki - hell Taemin had been interacting with Jinki more than he had been recently and Taemin would usually rather focus on pulling off his dance moves flawlessly. The fact pierced Jonghyun like a bullet and he wanted to deny it - he wasn't there for Jinki for the longest while. Jonghyun remained silent, he couldn't think of anything to say, what could he say? Jinki just kept staring at Jonghyun, his grip on the other's hands tightening slowly, painfully, until Jinki's knuckles were white and Jonghyun felt a slight pain spark in his hands, he tried not to cringe.
“Hyung, you're-”
“Jonghyun ah,” Jinki interjected, “You know that I miss you too, right?” Jinki didn't sound as faraway as he had before, his voice was wavering and he was trembling slightly but his eyes seemed to be looking right through Jonghyun. Jinki's grip tightened and Jonghyun became worried again, surely the force Jinki was using was hurting him too. Jinki looked down at their hands - at his hands gripping Jonghyun's. “You know that, I love you too... right?”
“Of course I do...” Jonghyun tried to move his hands - just to touch his hyung in some way to reassure him - but Jinki wouldn't let him, he held the younger's hands firmly in place. “Don't be like this...” Jonghyun kept wriggling his hands, little by little, and eventually Jinki eased his grip before completely letting go of Jonghyun's now pained hands. Jinki looked away. Jonghyun gripped Jinki's shoulders, lightly shaking him. “Hyung, you're acting strange, let's try to calm down, alright?”
Jonghyun wasn't sure what he had done, honestly, but Jinki suddenly looked up at him - wide eyed, an offended look lining his features - and Jinki shoved him, sending Jonghyun reeling backwards.
“What?” Jinki rasped, “I'm not acting strange... I miss you, is that so hard to understand?” Jonghyun was still trying to regain his footing, he didn't expect Jinki to lash out at him, not yet any way. When Jonghyun was finally able to stand again he looked at Jinki who was wearing one of the most effective scowls Jonghyun had ever seen in his life - hostility was just dripping off of Jinki now and Jonghyun had never thought that this Jinki could exist.
“Can't you show me attention too?” Jinki asked slowly, dejectedly as his scowl melted into a look of hopelessness, “Show me attention like you show Taemin and Kibum- like you show everyone else.” Jinki was walking towards Jonghyun - slow, languid steps, almost as if he was just waiting for Jonghyun to try to run away just so he could chase him.
“Jinki...” And the addressed male suddenly smiled - seemingly pleased with the use of his name - yet the smile didn't reach his eyes, but Jonghyun continued, “...You know I like you the best.” Jinki seemed to consider his words for a mere fraction of a second before he was scowling at the younger again.
“Now you're lying...” Jinki growled, walking towards Jonghyun so suddenly that the latter took a few steps back and he was now in the corridor. Jonghyun held his arms up in defence, Jinki wasn't listening to him.
“No, Jinki, honest-”
“Liar!” Jinki yelled and he ran to Jonghyun who dashed up the corridor only to be met with a dead end. Jonghyun stopped and quickly turned around and Jinki didn't move from in front of the open door, he just looked in Jonghyun's direction, letting his sore eyes adjust to the darkness as he called to Jonghyun, “Jonghyun ah, you shouldn't run from the person who's trying to tell you something.”
“Jinki ah, you can tell me whatever you want.” Jonghyun replied, walking forward while Jinki inched towards him, a hollow chuckle escaping the elder's lips. Jonghyun's eyes adjusted and he saw that Jinki was still angry, he wasn't scowling any more but he was still on edge and Jonghyun could feel it. “Calm down a little...”
Jinki twitched, irritated, and he lunged at Jonghyun, the other stepping back a little before Jinki fell onto him, locking his arms around the other's neck, and Jonghyun's back collided with the wall, both him and Jinki quickly sliding to the floor. Jonghyun hissed in pain and Jinki shifted his body slightly off of Jonghyun's. When Jonghyun managed to catch a glimpse of Jinki's face from the slight light from the bathroom and the living area he saw that the elder had tears in the corners of his eyes, he would probably cry - emotional as he was - perhaps for the second time that night.
“Jonghyun ah, why are you like this?” Jinki then buried his face into the crook of Jonghyun's neck, Jinki's warmth and tears mingling with and seeping into Jonghyun's clothing, and he mumbled, a desperate, far gone plea, “Why can't you just love me..?” And then, all that Jinki had said - all that he had implied - came crashing down onto Jonghyun, and it was so much. Jinki was fragile, so fragile that he broke to this extent and Jonghyun had carelessly forgotten that.
What had Jonghyun done?
“Jinki... I do love you,” He felt Jinki's grip tighten, “I do love you, I was a complete idiot and I didn't show it enough... I'm sorry.” And it was almost as if those were the magic words as they had Jinki sobbing into Jonghyun's clothing, mumbling incoherent sentences and apologies, but Jonghyun couldn't bring himself to hold any of this against Jinki. A moment of weakness, a slight flaw, it was alright because they were only human.
Jonghyun wrapped his arms around the elder, telling him everything was fine and slowly willing Jinki away from insanity. Time passed them like that and slowly Jinki's sobs diminished into soft snores and Jonghyun realized he had fallen asleep. Jonghyun thought that this was fine, they could sleep here and when they woke up in the morning they could talk and sort everything out, they would be able to take away that much stress from their already tiring lives and go back to their happy little relationship.
It was with these thoughts that Jonghyun fell asleep.
-
omigosh fail drabble/fic omigosh So... LOLOL how do I justify this~ Written for thpeekaboo Please forgive me for the fail, I'll go crawl under a rock now.