So this is it?

[thezerosystem]

Hospice. We went all the way downtown (which was so painful) for the doc to tell me its all over. "Weeks to months." I have too many tumors, in too many different places, doing too much damage for further chemo to be feasable. I feel so helpless. So afraid. I didn't think it would get to this point so quickly. We'll get a second opinion, but

Comments

[spiritonparole]

Your life has been worthwhile indeed, and as such you deserve far better than a life of pain and incapacitation. You deserve freedom from the prison that your body has become; you deserve a different life, outside of that prison. Nonetheless, I am sorry that the time between now and your release from your cancer must be filled with such pain and suffering. Death should be peaceful, not torturous. If I were part of your treatment team, I would be making sure that you were comfortable and relaxed during the last weeks of your life, and fully ready to make the transition from this world to whatever comes after it. Make sure that you attend to your emotional well-being; your body may be compromised, but you can still nurture your spirit.

[zdamiana]

Your situation makes me think of a This American Life radio show (episode #164) in which a guy who cleans up crime scenes for a living is asked if he has thought about how he would prefer to die. He gives a surprising answer. Though most people generally wish to have a quick, painless death, he says he would rather die slowly, even if it means having a lot of pain. He would prefer to have the time to say goodbye to the people close to him. I hope that, in spite of your pain, grief, and anger at your circumstances, you can find peace of mind, and can be glad for the opportunity that you have to say goodbye. I hope that your friends and family can find the courage and strength to tell you how much you have meant in their lives, and I hope that you can find peace and satisfaction in the knowledge that you have made a positive difference in the lives of the people you have known and loved

[cosmashiva]

We are still praying for you over here in California. You are in our thoughts, never lose hope.

[argentina]

I don't really know what to say. Nothing seems appropriate.
I hope that something can still be done about the pain, so that you can make every day count, like someone said above.
*hugs*

[ariedana]

Like most of the people before me, I have no idea what to say. You have no idea how much your writing has touched me, and that will never change - even if your mortal body isn't here anymore, your soul will stay through your words. I wish that this was all easier for you. I will continue sending my love and support, and thank you for all that you've given us.