the good-faith thing and i... we aren't so much friends right now

[thicknwild]

this summer is teaching me the very valuable lesson of: DON'T TRUST ANYONE

Comments

[ingridsummers]

If I might suggest. Instead of the lesson being "don't trust anyone", it seems instead you are learning that you are NOT a doormat, that you can speak up for yourself AND you can trust yourself. As part of that journey you are also learning WHO you can trust. There are many of us out here, who are trust-worthy, but in journey's where you break personal new ground you sometimes have to first experience the "hell no".

Congratulations on your explorations. I love you.

[thicknwild]

thanks for this. it's nice to hear a "congrats" when you're feeling shitty about something because someone thinks that lessons learned are valuable. no, i'm not being sarcastic. :)

and you're right, i'm learning WHO i can trust on this journey of mine. but right now, it seems the odds are agin me. i guess i'll also have to go through a period of mistrust as i journey along till i can figure out who i trust and when to trust.

[lapiswitch]

You are trying to make a change at your core. It's hard. And it's going to be a rough road -- A VERY WORTHWHILE ROAD! People are going to have a hard realizing and accepting that you are acting differently and that you are communicating differently than before

[thicknwild]

yes, i believe the road i'm on is worthwhile. i think i'm gonna make a bunch of enemies (or at least lose friends) before this is over. and i think that is a big lesson of mine. how to lose friends outright and be ok with it.

i have never lost a friend outright. i've drifted away. they've drifted away. but not since before high school (you know, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) have i lost a friend to and out and out row that came up because i opened my mouth about MY feelings and MY anger and MY hurt.

maybe as i get older, my soul is telling me that the doormat me is not the true me and i need to get over it and move into uncharted waters. no matter if i piss people off or not.

also, believe me, i now have a huge list of questions to ask people who want to enter into business ventures with me. never again will i be snookered by sweet words. if i don't get things straightened out before hand, the answer will be an unequivocal NO!!!

[hypanebliss]

Love ya. I can identify with many of the emotions in this post.

[faedaughter]

Yay! Love you sweetie, and love most of all to hear you roar. It's going to be long road, but at least it won't be so littered with the tattered remains of relationships you thought you could rely on.