13 Random Facts of Life
Title: 13 Random Facts of Life.
Series: X/1999
Rating: T
Pairing: ...hard to say, but here is the good thing, I'll list them.
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst - Mostly in poetry or thoughts, maybe a bit of romance, friendship, allusions and tragedy, but yeah. These shorts are in stanzas. The lines for the stanzas here are 4, 5, 6, 5, 5. The main reason I’m angsting, it’s because I’m a bit tired, have a slight cold, and to add to the mood, I’m listening to music that are alternative, sad, romantic, and so on. Here is the song list I’m listening to.
Status: Complete
Comments/Warnings: Spoilers from the manga and anime, maybe a bit of OOCness of the characters themselves, and allusions to well some things, suggest as being insanity and other stuff I don't want to bother. Some of them don't feel like poems, rather it feel like thoughts, and I've honestly tried to keep the words short in each poem or thoughts, but my imagination doesn't agree with me. I don't own X/1999, they belonged to CLAMP.
Kotori/Kamui/Fuuma - Sharing
Kotori loves the sky, so does Fuuma.
She loves the nature very much, so does Fuuma.
She loves her parents, even though there are rifts, so does Fuuma.
They share the same ideas, same opinions from their own views.
Then Kotori meet a boy with pretty violet eyes,
The boy helped Kotori, and Kotori fallen in love with him.
The boy in turn, loves Kotori.
Kotori brings the boy to meet her family,
And at the same time, Fuuma unconsciously loves the boy.
This feeling, Fuuma, didn't say it out loud as he watched.
Seeing his younger sister and the boy with each other happy,
Gave him mixed feelings about all of this.
He wasn't sure which emotion is the most dominant one,
Happy? Sad? Hurt? Love? Jealously? Wistful?
He'll never know, but there is one thing he does know.
He and his sister, cannot share the boy.
Kotori muses at this, looks at Fuuma, and knows,
They can never share the boy,
But it didn't mean that they can't continue to love that boy.
So when Kotori passed away, leaving the boy alone.
Fuuma decides to show his own affections for the boy,
Forcing that emotion called love on to him,
He has to keep his act up as the boy’s enemy, pushing the boy to grow.
And promised himself that he'll never share the boy,
With anyone else that are here today.
Kamui/Fuuma - Time
Bitterness left from the coffee,
It was hard to comprehend that his best friend isn't there.
Time is constantly moving, fast, slow, or stopping,
Those things happened once or twice, but never often.
Time itself move to fast for his own taste,
But it's not within his own power to control.
Time, Fate, and Death went hand in hand,
Deciding, betting, and reaping the souls of the Earth,
From each grain of sand that falls in the hourglass.
He still remembers those happy moments as if they were yesterdays,
Engraved in his heart, soul, and mind with a hot knife.
The betrayal of his best friend, left a wound that won't close.
Killing his own sister in front of him, made him want to hate.
Saying that he was next, made him want to hurt him and cry.
Hurting his friend in front of him, made his anger boil.
And the irony of this whole thing,
He can't hate, he can't be angry at his best friend forever.
Discovering that he doesn't hate, but loves his best friend,
Made him feel disgusted at himself at this twisted romance.
It didn't make sense as to why he loves someone for hurting him.
They say in time, wounds will heal.
That they close up the wounds, leaving scars to heal.
They were wrong, time wouldn't heal his own wounds,
Not when it is moving fast towards that day,
And that day itself, will tell the time of which Kamui has to leave.
Keiichi/Kamui - Smile
Hearing a new student coming to class all of a sudden,
Sent confusion to the whole classroom,
The feeling itself is mutual as there has to be a reason why,
Keiichi watch the new student comes in.
He never smiles, a sad look in his eyes,
But a person has to smile before, right?
So Keiichi made it his goal to make Kamui smile.
Absently, Keiichi felt the whole earthquakes is odd.
Too frequent, too man made after studying Geography.
He was puzzled, but then the only connection to this,
Was never there, and now the new student seems lonely.
As if he had lost someone in the earthquake, just like Keiichi.
Well they do say, talking helps more often,
Making an individual feel lighter, less heavier then before.
So to make that goal into reality, he befriends with Kamui.
Okay, maybe he forced him to be friends with him,
Leaving Kamui no other choice but to agree,
But hey he was trying to helpful and funny.
No wait, funny wasn't the word he was looking for.
After a few days of being friends with Kamui, he realized.
He loves him, the reason Keiichi wants to see Kamui smile,
Was because he loved Kamui, a rare case of love at first sight.
What he had tried to do when he first met him,
Was for Kamui to be comfortable around him,
And if Kamui were to smile for him, that'll make his world feel lighter.
Keiichi/Kamui/Fuuma; Keiichi/Fuuma; Hint of Subaru/Kamui - Crumble
It started off as to tell the other one to back off,
To tell the murderer of his friend to go away,
But Keiichi, after fully knowing the whole story,
Held his breath and listen to the fallen man side.
The young teen, his own age, was manipulated,
By someone or something, Keiichi didn’t care,
He wants to blame it on someone for the death of Kamui.
Keiichi realized too late that he had fallen for Kamui,
Just like how Fuuma had fallen for Kamui.
And Fuuma realized too late what he had done, and crumbled.
Gritting his teeth in frustration, he grabbed Fuuma’s arm,
And pulled him up, staring at him with his own chocolate eyes,
Golden eyes stare back at him, lost and confused,
Keiichi looked away, grip on Fuuma’s arm to make him stay in place,
Gathered his thoughts, he rather not think of what Kamui would have done.
Or rather, he didn’t want to think what the omnyoji and the Sakurazukamori,
Would have done in his position, Kamui’s friend loved Kamui.
To the point of Kamui not noticing, and kept on walking without him,
Regret and guilt filled the man, and Keiichi watched as man’s world crumbled to the ground,
Like how his own crumbled once he gotten the word of Kamui’s death.
Blaming on someone was practically easy,
Blaming on someone who is manipulated, by Fate,
Into killing someone he wanted to protect, wasn’t easy.
Having enough of seeing his own and Subaru’s world crumbling,
Keiichi decided to pull Fuuma out of his fallen world and be his pillar to hold him up.
Kamui/Subaru/Seishirou - Bystander
Bystander is the term when an individual is present at an event,
But does not participate in it, and yet it wasn’t a crime, but it felt like a sin.
A sin that weighed down on Kamui and couldn’t get rid off,
As he watches the Subaru he knows of, fades away slowly into someone he doesn’t know of.
Nails digging into his own palms,
This was the second time he let someone he cares of, down,
Kamui felt like he was a bystander,
Watching some twisted part of drama in real life,
He didn’t do anything to help Subaru out since he said it was his wish.
That didn’t help the fact he felt like he is a bystander.
Thinking this over, Kamui couldn’t help but muses at the irony,
Subaru is also a bystander as well,
He watched his own twin murdered in front of him,
By someone he cares deeply about through a dream,
Becoming isolated from the people that care for him to grow strong.
Strong enough to face the Sakurazukamori,
But Kamui knew better, even if Subaru said he wanted to kill him,
It ranged deeper, and Kamui couldn’t help but feel jealous and helpless as this,
Watching Subaru fall in love with that man all over again,
Being played slowly into the Fate’s hands like a puppet, it made Kamui feel worse.
Inhaling a breath, he opens the door to Subaru’s room,
And forced himself not to chase Subaru in despair and anger,
Subaru had left them, left him behind, becoming the current Sakurazukamori,
Kamui already knows what Subaru is going to do, but he didn’t want to believe,
The sin of being bystander, weighed heavier as Kamui cried silently.
Kamui/Subaru - Never
It was never there, those words,
Just silence, just stares,
Just watching each other movements, body languages, emotions.
They prefer the silence over the noises of the outside world.
Kamui was never close to Subaru,
But Subaru is close to Kamui because of their connection,
It never went beyond their understanding of each other,
Understanding the pains because of similar backgrounds,
Similar stories, similar relations, similar tragedies.
It never went beyond that wall,
Never went to beyond the wall of trust they built,
Never went over that boundaries because of fear,
The fear of getting hurt again, and again,
Their scars are always there,
Never physically, but mentally as they never close up.
The need for each other is there, asking for comfort.
But there were never the words of ‘I Love You’ between them,
Only silent comfort, silently offering each other touches,
Those kisses, those needs, the pleasure and pain,
They never needed those words as actions speak louder.
Kamui never knew Subaru fully,
Then again, Subaru never knew the Sakurazukamori until too late,
And Subaru never fully know Kamui either, but they never blamed each other
They never know what happiness is like, since it was never there to begin with,
Then again, they never experience a happy ending, since reality is never a fairytale.
Seishirou/Subaru - Gravity
Subaru is always tied to Seishirou, dead or not,
He is tied to his twin star, like gravity.
Like how all those people are tied to gravity on earth,
But gravity itself doesn’t compare to space.
Space, is just space, full of nothing,
Empty like a vacuum, he could barely breathe, just like now,
There are so many things he could list to how much he hated that man,
But there are also so many things he could list to how much he loved him.
Seishirou must be laughing and shaking his head in amusement up there.
In a way, Subaru is chained to gravity by Seishirou,
He is chained to that ancient cherry blossom tree,
The one that the Sakurazukamori clan always looked after.
But Subaru is also chained to space by Seishirou,
The emptiness he currently feeling,
There is also dissatisfaction in his heart for the space that Seishirou left.
He stares at his own mirror in disgust,
There were a couple of times he broke it with his fist leaving it bloody,
He hated how he became like this,
How he hated that Fate is cruel to him and other people,
How gravity had tied him to this cruel world.
Gravity itself, chained many people he knows to Fate,
Making them stay there until death picks them up,
He is one of them, so then why?
Subaru could feel tears trailing from his remaining green eye,
Blood drip from his hand, why didn’t gravity chain Seishirou down to him?
Seishirou/Kamui/Subaru; hints of Kamui/Fuuma - Replacements
In a way, those two found a replacement in a teen.
And Kamui felt like he is a replacement for both of them,
Going back and forth, they are practically dancing around him,
And he wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or amused.
To Seishirou, Kamui is a replacement for Subaru,
But he already knew that Kamui isn’t Subaru,
Those quiet moans that Kamui tried to hold back,
Trying to hold back his body from responding, it wouldn’t make any difference,
Since Kamui is as beautiful as Subaru for being a replacement.
To Subaru, Kamui is a replacement to his own innocence,
That innocence that was lost to Seishirou’s betrayal,
That pain that grew, and being soothed by their tentative kisses,
Hesitated touches from Subaru, understanding acceptance from Kamui.
Truthfully, it’s almost like a cycle as from his memory,
Those tentative touches from when he was a teen in Seishirou’s arms.
To Kamui, Subaru is not a replacement for Fuuma,
But perhaps a replacement for to fill those lingering emotions,
Longing for someone to be there, wanting a form of comfort of something,
And yet, Kamui also knows that Seishirou isn’t a replacement and that he isn’t Fuuma,
But Kamui needed someone to rip his own wings from his back and keep him there.
Seishirou, reminds him painfully of the reality he is living now,
Subaru, reminds him of what he has lost and his own wish,
Kamui, reminds them of each other and being used as a replacement,
And when neither thought that Kamui didn’t use them as replacements,
They were wrong, in true reality they were each other replacements already.
Nokoru/Kamui/Subaru - Not Leaving
Kamui, as Nokoru observed behind his fan,
Those that are very close to him, had left.
Those people are his pillars, his protection,
His support, and they left him more vulnerable.
Like how he has and still has Suoh and Akira,
As his support, his confidence, and still there.
Nokoru never thought that Kamui would be this fragile,
Like a broken glass from a stained glass window,
Then again, he never thought the teen to be such a beautiful disaster.
Kamui walks on a rough road,
Filled with sharp edges and rocks,
Every time he falls, new wounds come,
And when he gets up, some of the small wounds heal,
But never the larger ones, those that are created in the past,
His mother, aunt, the boy name Fuuma, a girl name Kotori…
Nokoru closes his eyes, and regrets,
He regrets to say the last name,
Regrets that he ever respected for the 13th head of Sumeragi clan,
But he didn’t blame him, that man left,
But that create a bigger emptiness within Kamui.
Kamui needs reassurance that no one he knows,
Is going to leave him alone, Subaru offered a temporary one,
But it still stung Kamui, Nokoru opens his eyes and whispers to Kamui,
“I’m not leaving.”, Kamui looks at him, “I know.”, but Kamui doesn’t believe him,
If Nokoru wants to prove he’s not leaving, he has to show the teen he isn’t.
Seishirou/Kamui; Seishirou/Subaru - Link
Seishirou stares at the last survivor of the Promised Day,
How the mighty have fallen, but Kamui was already broken,
Broken but not beyond repair, broken but can still be used,
Kamui held onto the memories, hope, they were his link to his own world.
There were a couple of times Kamui spaced out,
A broken toy, only seeing ghosts of the dead,
A broken legacy, left by a broken mentor,
Like student, like teacher,
Seishirou muses as he watches Kamui.
Kamui knows that someone is watching him,
Predator or a person out of curiosity,
He rather not know, caused Subaru have left another link,
One that kept him awake in anxiety, cautiousness, and curiosity,
But curiosity kills the cat, and Subaru was that cat,
And Kamui knows who is watching him from the petals left behind.
Seishirou’s amusement peaks when he sees Kamui,
He is waiting at the park, underneath his beloved tree,
With a curved charming smile, he greets,
Nonchalantly he was greeted back, a word echoes from him,
“Why?”, the million dollar question leading to many questions.
But most of all, it was why he didn’t kill him now,
There was nothing, nothing to feel or anything if he struck his hand,
There wasn’t any pleasure or relief of killing off the last link to Subaru,
When Seishirou is the link to Kamui for the harsh reality,
“Cause you amuse me.” Truthfully, Kamui is his only link left, but he left that unsaid.
Subaru/Kamui/Fuuma - Game
Subaru watched as Fuuma forced Kamui to play a game with him,
A dangerous game of chess,
If Dark Kamui wins, humanity will perished but Earth will survive,
If Kamui wins, Fuuma returns and humanity will survive with Earth.
So he wonders why the game itself unsettles him,
Maybe it's the fact that too many things were on stake,
Maybe it’s the fact that who is on Dark Kamui’s side,
Maybe it’s the fact that this game is too delicate or dangerous,
Or maybe it’s the fact that Kamui might die in this whole game.
Subaru closes his eyes and tries not to think,
Not to think of what would happen if Kamui ends up dead,
Dead the very next day, or dead on the Promised Day,
Since Kamui is the one of the anchors to this reality,
Since Kamui is the only one who can understand him,
And if Kamui is gone, then what would become of him?
But Subaru knows Kamui, and it left him conflicted.
Kamui knows of his feelings for Fuuma, and wants to save him,
He knows of the risks that comes with playing this game,
And when Subaru confronted him about it,
There was a knowing smile, a sad glint in his eyes.
“It’s the only way.” That was Kamui’s answer,
If Kamui’s death finally brings out the Fuuma he knows back,
Subaru knows it’s almost like a replay of that Rainbow Bridge,
Making his final decision, he walks to the window and out of it, if he wants Kamui to stay alive,
He has to talk to the game master about his rules of that game, and interfere it.
*Bonus* Kamui/Yuuto? - Unpredictable
Humans are unpredictable, Yuuto mused, and that is a fact,
Humans having predictable habits that make them predictable, that’s also a fact,
In a way, humans are similar to nature itself,
Being unpredictable like the blue ocean itself.
So how is that one human, makes it so difficult to manipulate,
And yet also easy to manipulate to see his own side of views,
Was it prior to the war or during it, he wouldn’t know,
But the leader of the other side, out of the blue,
Decides to ask his opinions and share it with him.
That, Yuuto sees, adds the point to humans being unpredictable,
He could very well easily lie to the teen,
Easily as to manipulate him to their side,
But then his Kamui, or rather Fuuma as the teen called him,
Wouldn’t be so pleased to this,
As to see his twin star being taken away by a member of his side.
He could easily lie to the co-workers at his office,
He could easily manipulate Kanoe and Satsuki to their pleasure and needs,
He could easily kill Satsuki’s computer and stop the earthquakes altogether,
Ending their plans and becoming a traitor at the same time,
But he couldn’t easily manipulate, lie, kill, or betray Kamui.
He never experienced love either, since it’s unpredictable,
Untraceable, too wild to be tamed like the rough waves in the ocean,
But he did experience love from his late sister, but that was a different kind of love.
So when Kamui rescued him from dying by BEAST’s wires, he realized in the teen’s eyes,
That he had fallen for the teen, as the teen is the living proof of why humans should stay alive.
*Bonus 2* Aoki/Kusanagi? - On Neutral Grounds
By coincidental, they met on neutral grounds,
Or maybe it’s not coincidental, rather fate,
But that ruins the mood, as they rather not think of it,
It’s a wonder that they shared similar views.
And yet, neither of them knew,
That they would meet again during the war,
They were once acquaintances,
Perhaps friends with similar interests,
But then they already knew that it had to happen.
But it conflicts their views,
That if humanity were to perished,
Would Earth still be alive later on?
That had also lead to thousand of questions over their heads,
And they met on neutral grounds once again,
One of them invites to a café, the other agrees.
It’s been awhile, as they caught up on each other lives,
One of them already has a family, that hurt the other,
The other has someone to protect, that hurt the other as well,
By some twist of fate, they realized that they are too similar,
And they wished each other good luck on neutral grounds.
On battle, they played as if they don’t know each other,
That hurts each other, but they already accepted it that,
They knew it will happen, but one element can’t live without the other,
The wind cools the earth down on the hot summer sky,
And the earth, through a process, helps the wind; that is what it felt to be on neutral grounds.
♠→♥→♣→♦→Owari←♦←♣←♥←♠
Read and Review, Critiques are acceptable.
Here is it's sequel.
Series: X/1999
Rating: T
Pairing: ...hard to say, but here is the good thing, I'll list them.
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst - Mostly in poetry or thoughts, maybe a bit of romance, friendship, allusions and tragedy, but yeah. These shorts are in stanzas. The lines for the stanzas here are 4, 5, 6, 5, 5. The main reason I’m angsting, it’s because I’m a bit tired, have a slight cold, and to add to the mood, I’m listening to music that are alternative, sad, romantic, and so on. Here is the song list I’m listening to.
Status: Complete
Comments/Warnings: Spoilers from the manga and anime, maybe a bit of OOCness of the characters themselves, and allusions to well some things, suggest as being insanity and other stuff I don't want to bother. Some of them don't feel like poems, rather it feel like thoughts, and I've honestly tried to keep the words short in each poem or thoughts, but my imagination doesn't agree with me. I don't own X/1999, they belonged to CLAMP.
Kotori/Kamui/Fuuma - Sharing
Kotori loves the sky, so does Fuuma.
She loves the nature very much, so does Fuuma.
She loves her parents, even though there are rifts, so does Fuuma.
They share the same ideas, same opinions from their own views.
Then Kotori meet a boy with pretty violet eyes,
The boy helped Kotori, and Kotori fallen in love with him.
The boy in turn, loves Kotori.
Kotori brings the boy to meet her family,
And at the same time, Fuuma unconsciously loves the boy.
This feeling, Fuuma, didn't say it out loud as he watched.
Seeing his younger sister and the boy with each other happy,
Gave him mixed feelings about all of this.
He wasn't sure which emotion is the most dominant one,
Happy? Sad? Hurt? Love? Jealously? Wistful?
He'll never know, but there is one thing he does know.
He and his sister, cannot share the boy.
Kotori muses at this, looks at Fuuma, and knows,
They can never share the boy,
But it didn't mean that they can't continue to love that boy.
So when Kotori passed away, leaving the boy alone.
Fuuma decides to show his own affections for the boy,
Forcing that emotion called love on to him,
He has to keep his act up as the boy’s enemy, pushing the boy to grow.
And promised himself that he'll never share the boy,
With anyone else that are here today.
Kamui/Fuuma - Time
Bitterness left from the coffee,
It was hard to comprehend that his best friend isn't there.
Time is constantly moving, fast, slow, or stopping,
Those things happened once or twice, but never often.
Time itself move to fast for his own taste,
But it's not within his own power to control.
Time, Fate, and Death went hand in hand,
Deciding, betting, and reaping the souls of the Earth,
From each grain of sand that falls in the hourglass.
He still remembers those happy moments as if they were yesterdays,
Engraved in his heart, soul, and mind with a hot knife.
The betrayal of his best friend, left a wound that won't close.
Killing his own sister in front of him, made him want to hate.
Saying that he was next, made him want to hurt him and cry.
Hurting his friend in front of him, made his anger boil.
And the irony of this whole thing,
He can't hate, he can't be angry at his best friend forever.
Discovering that he doesn't hate, but loves his best friend,
Made him feel disgusted at himself at this twisted romance.
It didn't make sense as to why he loves someone for hurting him.
They say in time, wounds will heal.
That they close up the wounds, leaving scars to heal.
They were wrong, time wouldn't heal his own wounds,
Not when it is moving fast towards that day,
And that day itself, will tell the time of which Kamui has to leave.
Keiichi/Kamui - Smile
Hearing a new student coming to class all of a sudden,
Sent confusion to the whole classroom,
The feeling itself is mutual as there has to be a reason why,
Keiichi watch the new student comes in.
He never smiles, a sad look in his eyes,
But a person has to smile before, right?
So Keiichi made it his goal to make Kamui smile.
Absently, Keiichi felt the whole earthquakes is odd.
Too frequent, too man made after studying Geography.
He was puzzled, but then the only connection to this,
Was never there, and now the new student seems lonely.
As if he had lost someone in the earthquake, just like Keiichi.
Well they do say, talking helps more often,
Making an individual feel lighter, less heavier then before.
So to make that goal into reality, he befriends with Kamui.
Okay, maybe he forced him to be friends with him,
Leaving Kamui no other choice but to agree,
But hey he was trying to helpful and funny.
No wait, funny wasn't the word he was looking for.
After a few days of being friends with Kamui, he realized.
He loves him, the reason Keiichi wants to see Kamui smile,
Was because he loved Kamui, a rare case of love at first sight.
What he had tried to do when he first met him,
Was for Kamui to be comfortable around him,
And if Kamui were to smile for him, that'll make his world feel lighter.
Keiichi/Kamui/Fuuma; Keiichi/Fuuma; Hint of Subaru/Kamui - Crumble
It started off as to tell the other one to back off,
To tell the murderer of his friend to go away,
But Keiichi, after fully knowing the whole story,
Held his breath and listen to the fallen man side.
The young teen, his own age, was manipulated,
By someone or something, Keiichi didn’t care,
He wants to blame it on someone for the death of Kamui.
Keiichi realized too late that he had fallen for Kamui,
Just like how Fuuma had fallen for Kamui.
And Fuuma realized too late what he had done, and crumbled.
Gritting his teeth in frustration, he grabbed Fuuma’s arm,
And pulled him up, staring at him with his own chocolate eyes,
Golden eyes stare back at him, lost and confused,
Keiichi looked away, grip on Fuuma’s arm to make him stay in place,
Gathered his thoughts, he rather not think of what Kamui would have done.
Or rather, he didn’t want to think what the omnyoji and the Sakurazukamori,
Would have done in his position, Kamui’s friend loved Kamui.
To the point of Kamui not noticing, and kept on walking without him,
Regret and guilt filled the man, and Keiichi watched as man’s world crumbled to the ground,
Like how his own crumbled once he gotten the word of Kamui’s death.
Blaming on someone was practically easy,
Blaming on someone who is manipulated, by Fate,
Into killing someone he wanted to protect, wasn’t easy.
Having enough of seeing his own and Subaru’s world crumbling,
Keiichi decided to pull Fuuma out of his fallen world and be his pillar to hold him up.
Kamui/Subaru/Seishirou - Bystander
Bystander is the term when an individual is present at an event,
But does not participate in it, and yet it wasn’t a crime, but it felt like a sin.
A sin that weighed down on Kamui and couldn’t get rid off,
As he watches the Subaru he knows of, fades away slowly into someone he doesn’t know of.
Nails digging into his own palms,
This was the second time he let someone he cares of, down,
Kamui felt like he was a bystander,
Watching some twisted part of drama in real life,
He didn’t do anything to help Subaru out since he said it was his wish.
That didn’t help the fact he felt like he is a bystander.
Thinking this over, Kamui couldn’t help but muses at the irony,
Subaru is also a bystander as well,
He watched his own twin murdered in front of him,
By someone he cares deeply about through a dream,
Becoming isolated from the people that care for him to grow strong.
Strong enough to face the Sakurazukamori,
But Kamui knew better, even if Subaru said he wanted to kill him,
It ranged deeper, and Kamui couldn’t help but feel jealous and helpless as this,
Watching Subaru fall in love with that man all over again,
Being played slowly into the Fate’s hands like a puppet, it made Kamui feel worse.
Inhaling a breath, he opens the door to Subaru’s room,
And forced himself not to chase Subaru in despair and anger,
Subaru had left them, left him behind, becoming the current Sakurazukamori,
Kamui already knows what Subaru is going to do, but he didn’t want to believe,
The sin of being bystander, weighed heavier as Kamui cried silently.
Kamui/Subaru - Never
It was never there, those words,
Just silence, just stares,
Just watching each other movements, body languages, emotions.
They prefer the silence over the noises of the outside world.
Kamui was never close to Subaru,
But Subaru is close to Kamui because of their connection,
It never went beyond their understanding of each other,
Understanding the pains because of similar backgrounds,
Similar stories, similar relations, similar tragedies.
It never went beyond that wall,
Never went to beyond the wall of trust they built,
Never went over that boundaries because of fear,
The fear of getting hurt again, and again,
Their scars are always there,
Never physically, but mentally as they never close up.
The need for each other is there, asking for comfort.
But there were never the words of ‘I Love You’ between them,
Only silent comfort, silently offering each other touches,
Those kisses, those needs, the pleasure and pain,
They never needed those words as actions speak louder.
Kamui never knew Subaru fully,
Then again, Subaru never knew the Sakurazukamori until too late,
And Subaru never fully know Kamui either, but they never blamed each other
They never know what happiness is like, since it was never there to begin with,
Then again, they never experience a happy ending, since reality is never a fairytale.
Seishirou/Subaru - Gravity
Subaru is always tied to Seishirou, dead or not,
He is tied to his twin star, like gravity.
Like how all those people are tied to gravity on earth,
But gravity itself doesn’t compare to space.
Space, is just space, full of nothing,
Empty like a vacuum, he could barely breathe, just like now,
There are so many things he could list to how much he hated that man,
But there are also so many things he could list to how much he loved him.
Seishirou must be laughing and shaking his head in amusement up there.
In a way, Subaru is chained to gravity by Seishirou,
He is chained to that ancient cherry blossom tree,
The one that the Sakurazukamori clan always looked after.
But Subaru is also chained to space by Seishirou,
The emptiness he currently feeling,
There is also dissatisfaction in his heart for the space that Seishirou left.
He stares at his own mirror in disgust,
There were a couple of times he broke it with his fist leaving it bloody,
He hated how he became like this,
How he hated that Fate is cruel to him and other people,
How gravity had tied him to this cruel world.
Gravity itself, chained many people he knows to Fate,
Making them stay there until death picks them up,
He is one of them, so then why?
Subaru could feel tears trailing from his remaining green eye,
Blood drip from his hand, why didn’t gravity chain Seishirou down to him?
Seishirou/Kamui/Subaru; hints of Kamui/Fuuma - Replacements
In a way, those two found a replacement in a teen.
And Kamui felt like he is a replacement for both of them,
Going back and forth, they are practically dancing around him,
And he wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or amused.
To Seishirou, Kamui is a replacement for Subaru,
But he already knew that Kamui isn’t Subaru,
Those quiet moans that Kamui tried to hold back,
Trying to hold back his body from responding, it wouldn’t make any difference,
Since Kamui is as beautiful as Subaru for being a replacement.
To Subaru, Kamui is a replacement to his own innocence,
That innocence that was lost to Seishirou’s betrayal,
That pain that grew, and being soothed by their tentative kisses,
Hesitated touches from Subaru, understanding acceptance from Kamui.
Truthfully, it’s almost like a cycle as from his memory,
Those tentative touches from when he was a teen in Seishirou’s arms.
To Kamui, Subaru is not a replacement for Fuuma,
But perhaps a replacement for to fill those lingering emotions,
Longing for someone to be there, wanting a form of comfort of something,
And yet, Kamui also knows that Seishirou isn’t a replacement and that he isn’t Fuuma,
But Kamui needed someone to rip his own wings from his back and keep him there.
Seishirou, reminds him painfully of the reality he is living now,
Subaru, reminds him of what he has lost and his own wish,
Kamui, reminds them of each other and being used as a replacement,
And when neither thought that Kamui didn’t use them as replacements,
They were wrong, in true reality they were each other replacements already.
Nokoru/Kamui/Subaru - Not Leaving
Kamui, as Nokoru observed behind his fan,
Those that are very close to him, had left.
Those people are his pillars, his protection,
His support, and they left him more vulnerable.
Like how he has and still has Suoh and Akira,
As his support, his confidence, and still there.
Nokoru never thought that Kamui would be this fragile,
Like a broken glass from a stained glass window,
Then again, he never thought the teen to be such a beautiful disaster.
Kamui walks on a rough road,
Filled with sharp edges and rocks,
Every time he falls, new wounds come,
And when he gets up, some of the small wounds heal,
But never the larger ones, those that are created in the past,
His mother, aunt, the boy name Fuuma, a girl name Kotori…
Nokoru closes his eyes, and regrets,
He regrets to say the last name,
Regrets that he ever respected for the 13th head of Sumeragi clan,
But he didn’t blame him, that man left,
But that create a bigger emptiness within Kamui.
Kamui needs reassurance that no one he knows,
Is going to leave him alone, Subaru offered a temporary one,
But it still stung Kamui, Nokoru opens his eyes and whispers to Kamui,
“I’m not leaving.”, Kamui looks at him, “I know.”, but Kamui doesn’t believe him,
If Nokoru wants to prove he’s not leaving, he has to show the teen he isn’t.
Seishirou/Kamui; Seishirou/Subaru - Link
Seishirou stares at the last survivor of the Promised Day,
How the mighty have fallen, but Kamui was already broken,
Broken but not beyond repair, broken but can still be used,
Kamui held onto the memories, hope, they were his link to his own world.
There were a couple of times Kamui spaced out,
A broken toy, only seeing ghosts of the dead,
A broken legacy, left by a broken mentor,
Like student, like teacher,
Seishirou muses as he watches Kamui.
Kamui knows that someone is watching him,
Predator or a person out of curiosity,
He rather not know, caused Subaru have left another link,
One that kept him awake in anxiety, cautiousness, and curiosity,
But curiosity kills the cat, and Subaru was that cat,
And Kamui knows who is watching him from the petals left behind.
Seishirou’s amusement peaks when he sees Kamui,
He is waiting at the park, underneath his beloved tree,
With a curved charming smile, he greets,
Nonchalantly he was greeted back, a word echoes from him,
“Why?”, the million dollar question leading to many questions.
But most of all, it was why he didn’t kill him now,
There was nothing, nothing to feel or anything if he struck his hand,
There wasn’t any pleasure or relief of killing off the last link to Subaru,
When Seishirou is the link to Kamui for the harsh reality,
“Cause you amuse me.” Truthfully, Kamui is his only link left, but he left that unsaid.
Subaru/Kamui/Fuuma - Game
Subaru watched as Fuuma forced Kamui to play a game with him,
A dangerous game of chess,
If Dark Kamui wins, humanity will perished but Earth will survive,
If Kamui wins, Fuuma returns and humanity will survive with Earth.
So he wonders why the game itself unsettles him,
Maybe it's the fact that too many things were on stake,
Maybe it’s the fact that who is on Dark Kamui’s side,
Maybe it’s the fact that this game is too delicate or dangerous,
Or maybe it’s the fact that Kamui might die in this whole game.
Subaru closes his eyes and tries not to think,
Not to think of what would happen if Kamui ends up dead,
Dead the very next day, or dead on the Promised Day,
Since Kamui is the one of the anchors to this reality,
Since Kamui is the only one who can understand him,
And if Kamui is gone, then what would become of him?
But Subaru knows Kamui, and it left him conflicted.
Kamui knows of his feelings for Fuuma, and wants to save him,
He knows of the risks that comes with playing this game,
And when Subaru confronted him about it,
There was a knowing smile, a sad glint in his eyes.
“It’s the only way.” That was Kamui’s answer,
If Kamui’s death finally brings out the Fuuma he knows back,
Subaru knows it’s almost like a replay of that Rainbow Bridge,
Making his final decision, he walks to the window and out of it, if he wants Kamui to stay alive,
He has to talk to the game master about his rules of that game, and interfere it.
*Bonus* Kamui/Yuuto? - Unpredictable
Humans are unpredictable, Yuuto mused, and that is a fact,
Humans having predictable habits that make them predictable, that’s also a fact,
In a way, humans are similar to nature itself,
Being unpredictable like the blue ocean itself.
So how is that one human, makes it so difficult to manipulate,
And yet also easy to manipulate to see his own side of views,
Was it prior to the war or during it, he wouldn’t know,
But the leader of the other side, out of the blue,
Decides to ask his opinions and share it with him.
That, Yuuto sees, adds the point to humans being unpredictable,
He could very well easily lie to the teen,
Easily as to manipulate him to their side,
But then his Kamui, or rather Fuuma as the teen called him,
Wouldn’t be so pleased to this,
As to see his twin star being taken away by a member of his side.
He could easily lie to the co-workers at his office,
He could easily manipulate Kanoe and Satsuki to their pleasure and needs,
He could easily kill Satsuki’s computer and stop the earthquakes altogether,
Ending their plans and becoming a traitor at the same time,
But he couldn’t easily manipulate, lie, kill, or betray Kamui.
He never experienced love either, since it’s unpredictable,
Untraceable, too wild to be tamed like the rough waves in the ocean,
But he did experience love from his late sister, but that was a different kind of love.
So when Kamui rescued him from dying by BEAST’s wires, he realized in the teen’s eyes,
That he had fallen for the teen, as the teen is the living proof of why humans should stay alive.
*Bonus 2* Aoki/Kusanagi? - On Neutral Grounds
By coincidental, they met on neutral grounds,
Or maybe it’s not coincidental, rather fate,
But that ruins the mood, as they rather not think of it,
It’s a wonder that they shared similar views.
And yet, neither of them knew,
That they would meet again during the war,
They were once acquaintances,
Perhaps friends with similar interests,
But then they already knew that it had to happen.
But it conflicts their views,
That if humanity were to perished,
Would Earth still be alive later on?
That had also lead to thousand of questions over their heads,
And they met on neutral grounds once again,
One of them invites to a café, the other agrees.
It’s been awhile, as they caught up on each other lives,
One of them already has a family, that hurt the other,
The other has someone to protect, that hurt the other as well,
By some twist of fate, they realized that they are too similar,
And they wished each other good luck on neutral grounds.
On battle, they played as if they don’t know each other,
That hurts each other, but they already accepted it that,
They knew it will happen, but one element can’t live without the other,
The wind cools the earth down on the hot summer sky,
And the earth, through a process, helps the wind; that is what it felt to be on neutral grounds.
♠→♥→♣→♦→Owari←♦←♣←♥←♠
Read and Review, Critiques are acceptable.
Here is it's sequel.