BUT I LIKE THAT SHOW!
"Hey Ba-kuuuuuurrrr-a."
Any time Marik dragged that second syllable out in his name, Bakura could depend on nothing intelligent following. Dropping his dog-eared copy of The Shining onto his duvet, he looked down at his roommate from his top bunk. "I am not your bloody babysitter," he announced. "Don't count on me for entertainment. I'm trying to read."
"But Bakuuurra, look at this." Marik held up his MacBook for Bakura to survey. "These people keep track online of the animated Japanese television programs they watch! And then they give their impressions, without any room for argument! They even yell at people in the comments if anyone reading their posts dissents! It's really very amusing. I approve of it!"
"Yes, Marik, it's an anime blog," agreed Bakura tersely. "They're made by idiots with nothing better to do who like putting their opinions on public forums because it makes them feel intelligent, and also because they think that will somehow make them famous. As clearly, being a total wanker on the World Wide Web is the only feasible way of accomplishing that feat anymore." He lay back down and picked up his book. "Now if you don't mind, I've a murderous hotel to return to."
"So it....doesn't look like fun to you?" Marik, sitting backwards in his desk chair, crossed his ankles. "You wouldn't....want to write one with me? At all?"
Bakura let go of the book again; it fell onto his face, and he sighed. "You made one already, didn't you?" he asked around the pages.
"Come on, Bakura," wheedled Marik. "Just a show or two a week? It should be fun, and very diabolical. Think of all the people we could antagonize with just a few sentences! If we detest their favorite show, we can make them have conniptions just sitting at their computers! And then, when they take hours to sculpt meticulous tirades about our opinions--" He sniggered. "We can ban them! Won't that be friggin awesome?! Oh, and then we'll get fans who enjoy our belligerent mannerisms. Flame wars will start on our forums, which we will leave completely unmoderated! Imagine the chaos! Anguish will spread across the globe!"
"Yes," Bakura replied, more out of a desire to get Marik to stop talking than to actually agree with him, "but if we can't actually see it happening that takes a bit of the thrill out of the sadism angle, don't you think?" He sat up, book sliding neatly into his lap; he tossed it aside, as clearly he wouldn't be returning to it anytime soon. "Look, Marik, if you want to babble on at no one about your own opinions you don't need me tagging along. I can say with certainty you'd be able to handle that just fine yourself. Though I remain dubious about the whole project."
"Awwwwwww, shoot me out of the sky, why don't you?" Marik pouted, then grinned defiantly up at his roommate. "Then again, that attitude would make you perfect for an anime blog, Bakura! You'll get to complain about everything you hate and there's nothing anyone could do to stop you!"
"No one's stopping me as I am," Bakura replied.
"It means more on the Internet," insisted Marik. "Everything does."
"Yes. Well. Look, Marik." Bakura could feel a headache coming on. "Whilst I appreciate your attempt to at least try to spread chaos across the planet, I just don't think this is the proper medium-"
"Why not?" interjected Marik sharply; taken aback for a moment, Bakura set his jaw and thought. "Heh?" Marik asked. "You don't know, do you? You just like to disagree with me. That's not very sporting, Kitty. That's not sporting at all. You're not sporty."
"That's not what that means, Marik." Bakura's eyes rolled up in their sockets. "Is it really so blasted important that I participate?"
"It is crucial."
"Might I inquire as to why?"
Marik's mouth twitched in a nervous smile, and when he next spoke, the words came quickly and quietly. "I purchased the bandwidth with your credit card?"
Bakura nearly fell out of the bunk bed, lunging for Marik, whose triumphant laughter carried down the hall. Not an hour later, a bulletin appeared on the Evil Council of Doom mailing list, and Bakura had re-shelved his book. Revisiting classic horror would have to wait. New horrors, it seemed, were in store for him instead.
---
"Greetings, my Evil Council of Doom! If any of you even have computer access now that our series has been canceled, that is.
"Despite our unfortunate circumstances, Bakura and I have not abandoned our sworn determination to vanquish Yugi Moto and utterly ruin all he holds dear. FAR FROM IT! We shall rise from this difficulty stronger than before, with more willpower than before! Our willpower will power our goals to victory! Get it? Will. Power. It is a pun. I am clever. Acknowledge me!
"ANYWAY! As the first stage of an elaborate and breathtaking evil plot, the rest of which I believe Bakura shall work out in his free time as my schedule's rather busy at present, he and I -- for we are still together, though not in THAT WAY, Pegasus, I know you're looking at the screen funny now and the situation isn't what you're thinking, we're only sharing a room so stop overreacting -- have founded a groundbreaking new anime blog! I command you all to read it weekly and laugh at our posts! For we shall be clever and cunning in our assessments of other people's creative property.
"To make this effort, which ultimately should pay off in the destruction of Yugi Moto provided Bakura holds up his end of the deal and comes up with a plan, more of a group endeavor, we have decided that you, the Evil Council of Doom, will select one show from the currently airing options for our viewing and commenting pleasure! But CHOOSE WISELY, for if it ends up pissing me off there will be distinct consequences. Simply select one of the options in the poll below and DO YOUR PART for the establishment of the NEW WORLD ORDER! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!
"So therefore, my Evil Council of Doom, I, mastermind extraordinaire Marik Ishtar, command you to tell me....."
Poll WHAT ANIME SHOULD WE BLOG?
"Marik has informed me that we're definitely watching something on Sundays with the ungodly title of "Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitte Iru", which I believe must translate to "No matter how much you try, that trenchcoat will never make you appear masculine" if the character designs are any indication. So yes. Have at it, you kooky collective. Subject me to whatever your cruel whims desire. Everybody else does. Just remember -- I've a habit of reappearing places I shouldn't physically be able to. So if you think you're safe, keep that in mind. Have fun!
--Bakura"