30th June

ate 235 calories
burned 451 calories

lost only .90 of a pound

today so far
ate 45 calories
burned 546

all I can say is DON"T EAT DON"T EAT

I had better lose in the morning god damn it

well fuck me
I did exactly what i said I would do
I ate I tried to stick to the good stuff rice paper rolls etc
I thought it would be ok
but no 3 1/2 pounds heavier
HEAVIER
I just lost 3 ths week not much but I was about to break through
I HATE ME I HATE MEEEEEE

you're a stupid fuck who needs to get her fucking shit together

and yet again I sit at that point of which I can not break through
Have a party to go to tonight
god when I drink I eat...and eat
I will regret it tomorrow
it's fully catered cocktail party
if I eat tonight I definately won't be waking up lighter
all I have to do is lose half a kilo/pound and I've done it
so why do I sabotage myself
EVERY SINGLE

I'm feeling very deflated and a little down I have had a few weeks of eating ( Read more... )

I feel like such a mess today ( Read more... )

I feel like the devil is on my back and he knows my name.......

I binged yesterday well technically it wasn't a binge my total was 1053 cals but I had done so well all day 138 cals till 7.00p.m then I have a glass of wine then another and then what do you know out comes the cheese platter out goes my self control. Wine is my killer but I love a ( Read more... )

Strange day I having today feeling strong content and happy within myself but.... and there's the but I wanted so bad to say fuck it and eat what ever and however much.When did this start will I ever have a bloody normal relationship with food again so sick of avoiding social occassions so I can keep my calories under control. THIS IS NOT FREAKING ( Read more... )

a very productive day I must say....so far I have eaten 57 calories and burned 515 at the gym so I'm on a roll baby....mind of matter mind over matter lets see what happens tonight ( Read more... )

what a fucked week end had a great night out with friends out till late etc drinks food more drinks....then more food god I hate myself.
I will start afresh on Monday work butt off at gym drink heaps green tea,water and coffee
I don't need food

my week end has not started so well I had every intention of not eating today because I have a dinner party to go to tonight I will have to eat someting there it would just look strange otherwise. Well I was out with the family and they needed lunch I have a rule that I need to eat in front of the kids every once in a while so I thought I would ( Read more... )