OOoh, this one is lovely. It almost feels like the first stanza and those two lines right after it are from a different poem.... I think the "as I get up and pace the room" all the way to the end is enough to stand alone, maybe.
I absolutely love the idea of the clouds as "lovers", and "they are gentle lovers for things much larger"..... I feel like I have always thought that, but I would never have figured out a way to put it so eloquently and beautiflly.
thank you very much :D I know exactly what you mean about the poem feeling kinda.. split. I should try working with that and possibly splitting it into two poems at some point.
Oh I'm sure you could write something quite beautiful. The key, I think is to not try or figure out how to. Just write, instead. Try some free-writing, that is, you just keep on writing, no matter what you're writing. Try not to let the pen/pencil stop. If you get stuck just repeat a phrase, or a word, or start writing about how you're stuck even. Free writes may not have anything worthwhile in them, but they can be the root of something greater, and they help you to let your writing become YOUR natural style, rather than something forced.
Poetry and writing shouldn't be forced, and when it is, you can tell. Just let it flow. Or at least, you should, if you want to. :)
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I absolutely love the idea of the clouds as "lovers", and "they are gentle lovers for things much larger"..... I feel like I have always thought that, but I would never have figured out a way to put it so eloquently and beautiflly.
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Oh I'm sure you could write something quite beautiful. The key, I think is to not try or figure out how to. Just write, instead. Try some free-writing, that is, you just keep on writing, no matter what you're writing. Try not to let the pen/pencil stop. If you get stuck just repeat a phrase, or a word, or start writing about how you're stuck even. Free writes may not have anything worthwhile in them, but they can be the root of something greater, and they help you to let your writing become YOUR natural style, rather than something forced.
Poetry and writing shouldn't be forced, and when it is, you can tell. Just let it flow. Or at least, you should, if you want to. :)
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