(no subject)
spring break. or lack thereof.
so its over.
it went by too fast.
but i am oddly glad its over.
i get to see everyone i guess.
i like being busy, just not how busy i was throughout march with the play and fauxrensiks [thanks al] and stuff. but busy with school and work, it feels good. keeps my mind off the oncoming end of the world. and i'm being totally serious, the world is going to end soon. i'm just trying to live it up as much as i can before it does.
i went to arizona. most relaxing state. everything's slow. there are never clouds in the sky. the views are gorgeous. they have pink jeeps there. they have amazing mexican food. i love the state, and want to go back a lot a lot a lot. its nice not to have to deal with people...same feeling as when i went to india. being away from civilization. oh, and cable is nice. mad about you is a fun show. a good pillow can change everything.
i'm sad i didn't get to see anyone. seeing as i'm a hermit from now until may ninth, besides al's, it would have been nice to see people. even though i see they everyday, somehow out of school seeing my friends would have been nicer. we're always deeper and less stressed out of school. plus, so many people outside of school i haven't seen either. stina's house was a bust because i was sick again.
i hate being sick.
i have this unavoidable tendency of letting a lot of other people's joy make me feel aobut thisbig. i mean, i'm very happy for them, and that feeling dominates, but a small part of me starts to feel very small. i'm not sure where this originated.
i heard the ice cream man today. it means summers coming. time for thighs caked against the school chairs and bus seats, not wearing makeup because we will sweat it all off, and being so glad for once that we have chemistry because it is air conditioned. time to see that slick on everyone's face and the restlessness that everyone feels because summer is so tantalizingly close.
am i the only one that doesn't look forward to summer? well, that's the wrong word. i don't not look forward to it...but it seems that everyone else has so much more fun in the summer than i do. this time i'll be staying home most of the time, and feel like i wont see anyone because they will all be off working. it seems like everyone has experiences to remember in summer; there are books written about amazing summers. i never seem to have those. i mean i dont want anything lifechanging in a bad way, but it seems that everyone else is off experiencing while i am left at home. of course, i do get to catch up on my young and the restless. but still, everyone's at the beach. it depresses me so much that i did not get to go to the beach once last year. not once. i read jen windel's entry and it made me want to go to the beach so so bad. i love the beach. i always have, i was in a pool in arizona and i love water. its devastating but so much fun. i want to go so terribly.
wicked little girls, kiss the boys and make them cry.
why does it always seem to be the other way around? not me of course,but other girls. i have nothing to cry about because thing seem to be stagnant. ball's in his court now.
i had a terrible dream where a bunch of people were performing their forensics pieces for yastremski and gormley and all these other head honchos and important people in what looked like a grander version of our little theater,but was in a different school because we took a bus to get there.i was second to last, and when my turn came up, everyone had started to leave, and then i got up there to do my dec and blanked. just blanked. and i started to have a panic attack, and kept telling yastremski that i'd remember, i'd remember, i really would..and after a while the panic took over, and i ran around looking for a computer and enlisted jeff sherwood to help me find my speech and help me remember because for the love of god i couldn't. i've never been so panicked in my life apparently, i could feel it even as i slept. and finally,as yastremski looked disgruntled and was about to leave and i was on the verge of tears and jeff was shaking his head and i saw ramy and alanna and sam sighing because they really wanted to leave to go to mcdonald's when i blurted out
"i'd like to thank the mills college class of 1983..."
i really wonder what it symbolized.
i love airports. i really do. i have since i was little. i dont know why. they are so clean. and there are so many opportunities. and i love how they want to give you little slices of everything, all in one place, a little piece of a restaurant, a piece of a shop. and i love how they have every magazine ever. i love airports. i've never minded seven hour layovers as long as the airport is interesting.
i like my new icons. =]
i have a new appreciation for seinfeld. i saw the puffy shirt episode.
i am not a sinner just because i don't like total eclipse of the heart.
so its over.
it went by too fast.
but i am oddly glad its over.
i get to see everyone i guess.
i like being busy, just not how busy i was throughout march with the play and fauxrensiks [thanks al] and stuff. but busy with school and work, it feels good. keeps my mind off the oncoming end of the world. and i'm being totally serious, the world is going to end soon. i'm just trying to live it up as much as i can before it does.
i went to arizona. most relaxing state. everything's slow. there are never clouds in the sky. the views are gorgeous. they have pink jeeps there. they have amazing mexican food. i love the state, and want to go back a lot a lot a lot. its nice not to have to deal with people...same feeling as when i went to india. being away from civilization. oh, and cable is nice. mad about you is a fun show. a good pillow can change everything.
i'm sad i didn't get to see anyone. seeing as i'm a hermit from now until may ninth, besides al's, it would have been nice to see people. even though i see they everyday, somehow out of school seeing my friends would have been nicer. we're always deeper and less stressed out of school. plus, so many people outside of school i haven't seen either. stina's house was a bust because i was sick again.
i hate being sick.
i have this unavoidable tendency of letting a lot of other people's joy make me feel aobut thisbig. i mean, i'm very happy for them, and that feeling dominates, but a small part of me starts to feel very small. i'm not sure where this originated.
i heard the ice cream man today. it means summers coming. time for thighs caked against the school chairs and bus seats, not wearing makeup because we will sweat it all off, and being so glad for once that we have chemistry because it is air conditioned. time to see that slick on everyone's face and the restlessness that everyone feels because summer is so tantalizingly close.
am i the only one that doesn't look forward to summer? well, that's the wrong word. i don't not look forward to it...but it seems that everyone else has so much more fun in the summer than i do. this time i'll be staying home most of the time, and feel like i wont see anyone because they will all be off working. it seems like everyone has experiences to remember in summer; there are books written about amazing summers. i never seem to have those. i mean i dont want anything lifechanging in a bad way, but it seems that everyone else is off experiencing while i am left at home. of course, i do get to catch up on my young and the restless. but still, everyone's at the beach. it depresses me so much that i did not get to go to the beach once last year. not once. i read jen windel's entry and it made me want to go to the beach so so bad. i love the beach. i always have, i was in a pool in arizona and i love water. its devastating but so much fun. i want to go so terribly.
wicked little girls, kiss the boys and make them cry.
why does it always seem to be the other way around? not me of course,but other girls. i have nothing to cry about because thing seem to be stagnant. ball's in his court now.
i had a terrible dream where a bunch of people were performing their forensics pieces for yastremski and gormley and all these other head honchos and important people in what looked like a grander version of our little theater,but was in a different school because we took a bus to get there.i was second to last, and when my turn came up, everyone had started to leave, and then i got up there to do my dec and blanked. just blanked. and i started to have a panic attack, and kept telling yastremski that i'd remember, i'd remember, i really would..and after a while the panic took over, and i ran around looking for a computer and enlisted jeff sherwood to help me find my speech and help me remember because for the love of god i couldn't. i've never been so panicked in my life apparently, i could feel it even as i slept. and finally,as yastremski looked disgruntled and was about to leave and i was on the verge of tears and jeff was shaking his head and i saw ramy and alanna and sam sighing because they really wanted to leave to go to mcdonald's when i blurted out
"i'd like to thank the mills college class of 1983..."
i really wonder what it symbolized.
i love airports. i really do. i have since i was little. i dont know why. they are so clean. and there are so many opportunities. and i love how they want to give you little slices of everything, all in one place, a little piece of a restaurant, a piece of a shop. and i love how they have every magazine ever. i love airports. i've never minded seven hour layovers as long as the airport is interesting.
i like my new icons. =]
i have a new appreciation for seinfeld. i saw the puffy shirt episode.
i am not a sinner just because i don't like total eclipse of the heart.