(no subject)
so i'm running for secretary. vote fo me. catchy campaign slogan coming later.
so i staunchly defended IS symposium. ok, not staunchly defended or even espoused in any particular way. it just bothered me how much people were complaining. dont like it? don't come. yeah its mandatory, and we get a break from class and still get credit for coming.
i didn't realize how long it was.
it wasn't the seniors fault in no way. in fact, a lot of their topics were interesting. but listening to presentations all day can make people so restless its ridiculous. by the last block, even the seniors were restless and like, skipped through their presentations. it was just long. not bad. just long.
monday was banquet. as i looked back later, i reaized i was pretty much if not the only girl not wearing a skirt. i'm cool with that. i'm a rebel. but i did put on makeup for once. figured out the whole two tone eyeshadow thing. not particularly difficut just never gave it the effort i guess.
when i walked in and we only had half of the room, i realized how small our club had become. we were once this power force that took up the whole room and two buses and a significant row of seats. at phillipsburg, we were a mere two rows. yeah, we're still chock full of talent, but that fact that five freshmen came was discouraging. we thought we were a small class, at nine. but five is cutting it too close for comfort, past that. how can we go back to the 70 person team we were? recruit recruit i guess. although people have said that there usually never people that stick with this club for years, and that there are a lot of people that join late and become great. hopefully that's the case. i dont want us to be 14 senior year.
i also find it discouraging and/or sad, if that's the right word, is that the only connection the seniors feel they have to me is the inability to spell my name, proven true by the funny slideshow. personally, i think Atrunelashvili is a lot harder to spell that Priyanka, but what can ya do. guess i just have to make more of an impression next year then. be wild and crazy.
"we're not sure who wears the pants in this relationship.."
"HA-"
"SHUTUP she's sitting right next to you!"
student government is a popularity contest, isn't it? how many of the 600 kids in our class care about who leads them? the few who know that student government exists, and the few who want to not have prom in a dumpster i guess. oh well. popularity's never been my thing.
why does our school not care about dances? when did our youth start not to care about school functions? some major plot points in nineties and eighties and even seventies sitcoms if i remember were about school dances and who was going to go and who wasn't. man, in grease, one of the most iconic movies, a school dance was a major plot point. when did people become so blase about it? thinking it tacky, god forbid they go to something school sponsored! i guess its part of our indie culture, where mainstream is taboo, indie is worshipped, and the more obscure the better. whatever. a little bit of me is a disappointed that i will never witness saved by the bell-esque drama about whose going to the dance with who(m) and whose been shunned.
i feel like going up in english class and saying "hello. block scheduling is good. bring it up sometime. the end." because more research and works cited and memorization will kill me.
i'm having a so-called identity crisis, if you will, about what categories to do next year.
when did i become a toxic friend? when did i become the person who just keeps wanting to make sure i'm still friends with people? i could whine and say that its my friends don't show their appreciation for me but that's far from true. its childhood scars making their way back. i thought i was closer to someone than i was. i once asked this girl when her birthday party was, because i had invited her and thought we were friends. she replied "why do you care? it already passed." safe to say the fourth grade me was pretty hurt. probably why i shut down around my friends a lot, because i feel like at any second they can turn on you, especially when you really need them. but i know, i know that's not true. old habits are hard to break. i guess, if equating this to a fear of heights, i need to jump out of an airplane. i just don't really know what airplane to jump out of, or if i even get an airplane. or a parachute. ah, mrs. o'neill would be proud, deep extended metaphors. sometimes i guess i need a little reassurance. but i cant let the burden of proof that we're still friends always fall on them. that's just unfair.
i can't wait til xmen 3 comes out. i take comfort in comic book movies. world domination, potential extermination, and saving the world definitely trumps student government elections.
i want to watch pride and prejudice again.
i liked my fourth grade isolationist self better. although i had nothing to do on friday nights then.
i feel like livejournal can be cowardice. why can't i just tell people how i feel about them to their face? people always espouse honesty, but if you think about it, if people aren't ready, open, or prepared to recieve, it falls on deaf ears and ruins everything. and makes you look like a bitch when you're really just trying to get yourself heard. "truth has meaning, as a direction." sure it has direction, but there's always a constant brick wall like the one in diagon alley, and no one knows which bricks to press.
wow i'm just full of metaphors today, aren't i?
so i guess everybody, keep your ears open.
so i staunchly defended IS symposium. ok, not staunchly defended or even espoused in any particular way. it just bothered me how much people were complaining. dont like it? don't come. yeah its mandatory, and we get a break from class and still get credit for coming.
i didn't realize how long it was.
it wasn't the seniors fault in no way. in fact, a lot of their topics were interesting. but listening to presentations all day can make people so restless its ridiculous. by the last block, even the seniors were restless and like, skipped through their presentations. it was just long. not bad. just long.
monday was banquet. as i looked back later, i reaized i was pretty much if not the only girl not wearing a skirt. i'm cool with that. i'm a rebel. but i did put on makeup for once. figured out the whole two tone eyeshadow thing. not particularly difficut just never gave it the effort i guess.
when i walked in and we only had half of the room, i realized how small our club had become. we were once this power force that took up the whole room and two buses and a significant row of seats. at phillipsburg, we were a mere two rows. yeah, we're still chock full of talent, but that fact that five freshmen came was discouraging. we thought we were a small class, at nine. but five is cutting it too close for comfort, past that. how can we go back to the 70 person team we were? recruit recruit i guess. although people have said that there usually never people that stick with this club for years, and that there are a lot of people that join late and become great. hopefully that's the case. i dont want us to be 14 senior year.
i also find it discouraging and/or sad, if that's the right word, is that the only connection the seniors feel they have to me is the inability to spell my name, proven true by the funny slideshow. personally, i think Atrunelashvili is a lot harder to spell that Priyanka, but what can ya do. guess i just have to make more of an impression next year then. be wild and crazy.
"we're not sure who wears the pants in this relationship.."
"HA-"
"SHUTUP she's sitting right next to you!"
student government is a popularity contest, isn't it? how many of the 600 kids in our class care about who leads them? the few who know that student government exists, and the few who want to not have prom in a dumpster i guess. oh well. popularity's never been my thing.
why does our school not care about dances? when did our youth start not to care about school functions? some major plot points in nineties and eighties and even seventies sitcoms if i remember were about school dances and who was going to go and who wasn't. man, in grease, one of the most iconic movies, a school dance was a major plot point. when did people become so blase about it? thinking it tacky, god forbid they go to something school sponsored! i guess its part of our indie culture, where mainstream is taboo, indie is worshipped, and the more obscure the better. whatever. a little bit of me is a disappointed that i will never witness saved by the bell-esque drama about whose going to the dance with who(m) and whose been shunned.
i feel like going up in english class and saying "hello. block scheduling is good. bring it up sometime. the end." because more research and works cited and memorization will kill me.
i'm having a so-called identity crisis, if you will, about what categories to do next year.
when did i become a toxic friend? when did i become the person who just keeps wanting to make sure i'm still friends with people? i could whine and say that its my friends don't show their appreciation for me but that's far from true. its childhood scars making their way back. i thought i was closer to someone than i was. i once asked this girl when her birthday party was, because i had invited her and thought we were friends. she replied "why do you care? it already passed." safe to say the fourth grade me was pretty hurt. probably why i shut down around my friends a lot, because i feel like at any second they can turn on you, especially when you really need them. but i know, i know that's not true. old habits are hard to break. i guess, if equating this to a fear of heights, i need to jump out of an airplane. i just don't really know what airplane to jump out of, or if i even get an airplane. or a parachute. ah, mrs. o'neill would be proud, deep extended metaphors. sometimes i guess i need a little reassurance. but i cant let the burden of proof that we're still friends always fall on them. that's just unfair.
i can't wait til xmen 3 comes out. i take comfort in comic book movies. world domination, potential extermination, and saving the world definitely trumps student government elections.
i want to watch pride and prejudice again.
i liked my fourth grade isolationist self better. although i had nothing to do on friday nights then.
i feel like livejournal can be cowardice. why can't i just tell people how i feel about them to their face? people always espouse honesty, but if you think about it, if people aren't ready, open, or prepared to recieve, it falls on deaf ears and ruins everything. and makes you look like a bitch when you're really just trying to get yourself heard. "truth has meaning, as a direction." sure it has direction, but there's always a constant brick wall like the one in diagon alley, and no one knows which bricks to press.
wow i'm just full of metaphors today, aren't i?
so i guess everybody, keep your ears open.