Tough wake ups.

[thingsfalnapart]

I can't explain why but every time I wake up from a long sleep I feel a form of psychosis. It's like everything from my past that put me where I am today rushes to me. It makes me feel like going back to sleep for hours everyday and I feel dazed and confused.

My ife isn't so bad. I don't understand why this is a problem.

Comments

[en_nova]

i can't say i know exactly how you feel, but i can certainly relate. i have a lot of panic attacks in the mornings, soon after waking up, all the stress and anxiety and hopelessness of everything just hits me all at once; and i have to fight the ostrich reaction :/

we all just have to remember to take life one step at a time, one day at a time, as long as you aren't stagnating, your making progress.

[thingsfalnapart]

I try my hardest to life one step at a time, but I feel so limited. Deep down inside I have a great inner restlessness; a desire to do more. To do something helpful, to make change for others and myself. When I go out into the real world I come across busy people and people who wear masks who don't have time for feelings or anything of that nature.

I went to a real life depression meetup ground yesterday and I stressed the importance of routine. I like routine but sometimes I feel like I get *too locked in.* I will get used to a "depression" routine and not do anything at all and stay stagnant.

What's really stupid is with my mood disorder I can set goals or dreams, but the next day I wake up nothing from the day before is important to me.

The only thing I find hopeless in life is the lack of consistency my mind and existence can seem to conjure up.

[en_nova]

maybe you should think about counseling for young kids, maybe kids who face the same kind of depressions and anxieties you face? it could be really rewarding to help young people fight a path through their darkness, and help you learn a lot about coping skills for your own..

[thingsfalnapart]

There is a program out and around called Big Brothers Big Sisters that place you in volunteering situations with youth with no family. I'd have to seriously look into it, but a few things that really concern me....Like I hope they don't disqualify me for having hospital stays on record. I dont have a criminal record, but you know how overly protective sometimes services and jobs can be...No tolerance for possible lawsuit situations.