I AM SO DOING THIS MEME
Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Day 2 - Your Crush
Day 3 - Your parents
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 - Your dreams
Day 6 - A stranger
Day 7 - Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 - A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 - Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind-good or bad
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror
Day 1.
Dear best friend,
You were a good guy. An awesome guy. A sweet guy. But I moreso loved what we were together. It seemed like we had known each other forever, and we could do the same things over and over and still give them new, good memories each time. I still remember those every day, because as over dramatic as it seems, I consider those six months to be the best months so far. You were my mirror. You told me what was good about me and I started to believe in myself. You helped me love myself by magnifying my pros and dismissing my cons. I can honestly say that some of my best memories are with you and will always be somewhere in my heart.
I can also say that some of my very worst memories are with you. Or rather, the times I knew I was losing you. I'm going to say that the night I realized you were shifting your focus from me to her was one of my worst memories. I won't go into it, but I'm sure you remember me crying on the phone and raising my voice (which I had never done to you) and then, hearing how much you didn't care, crying until I nearly threw up. Back then I couldn't imagine my life without you.
You aren't a different person now. You haven't changed. I know that because of Kortney. I am now in the same position she was when I became your best friend. I know you're still you when you're with Brianne. But I also know that you will stay with her until you move on, and I will never have you back. I don't want you back. You hurt me so, so much. You were the only one who could hurt me that much simply by not caring anymore. You used to care so much, but I can hardly remember those days now.
So I pulled myself out of the bullshit. Oh, what bullshit it all was. Me texting you, just staring at the phone like all those times before. The times I was so pathetic and clingy, while your girlfriend snickered at the thought of me, feeling proud she'd won you over. She acted like the queen of the fucking world. And you know what? I gave up. I'm NOT pathetic. I'm a wonderful person, and I'm sure as hell strong enough to know I don't need someone who hurts me as much as you do. I endured it all because I loved you, but I've figured out how strong I can be without you. Maybe it'll be a really long time before I find another friendship as true as yours, but that's fine with me. Because I know that that, too, would eventually end horribly. Everything ends; this is what I'm learning. I'm learning goodbyes.
Goodbyes suck. Why couldn't you give me a proper goodbye? It was the fucking least you could do. But no, you run away from your problems. You don't confront anyone you don't WAAAAANNA, because you're immature. You are one of the most immature people I've ever been close to. To me, this is one of your only flaws, and it came back to bite me in the end. You're too much of a pussy to even talk to me, and who gets made fun of for it? Me. I get snarked about. Fuck that noise.
Right now I just feel blah, but I'll move on, and I'll go places without you. I don't need any of this.
Thanks for the good times, although they were nearly outweighed by the bad. (not even)
I love you so much
- Jasmin