"Heavens' gates come crashing down, slamming me into more darkness."

[thirdlaw]

I saw her again today, we were going to have coffee together, suddenly I realized I was on the virge of a full blown panic attack, I don't get these often but now just trying to talk to her sends be crashing further down into my own private hell, I love her more than anything and all I have to do is sit like a good boy, not able to protest if a guy

Comments

No

[darkangeltrip]

I highly doubt the pain you feel now is even close to what you did to me. I hid it very well untill I could take no more, but you killed me inside, and no matter what you say, you can never feel what I felt all that time we spent together when you were mean. You have no idea how much I loved you and how absolutelly devoted I was to you, but you couldn't care and you didn't even try to pretend to care. You deserve all the pain you feel now, and I know I'm a bitch for saying that, but I wouldn't if I didn't feel that way. You were a Jerk, flat out. and I don't really care anymore.... at least I shouldn't. but I still want you to be my friend. If thats not possible, if you can't just be my friend for now and prove to me and the world that you have changed, then I guess this is goodbye. I don't want to put you through torture when you see me and have to be my friend, and I don't want to ground you from me, but I will disappear from your life if you can't either get over me or really change into a good and nice person and be my friend

Re: No

[thirdlaw]

Im so afraid that you will hook up with someone else, I freak out when I think of that, And mabey I don't hurt as much as you did but I do now, it might not be the same kind of hurt but I work diferently its the only real pain I know, most things dont get to me but this does, its not fair of me to say forget all of it but please don't leave me alone, I need you, My friends, at least the ones I hang with know i've changed, They feel bad about the situation but they all say the same thing, tough it out, you two are to good to give up, so I try but even though I never showed it, I adored you so much, mabey we can twist this friendship into something I can work with to, Im not trying to trick you into coming right back, its just that you call all the shots but if I could be with you time to time, if you could just act a little like it would be when you trust me, it would be easier for me to relax and act like things would be with us when you believe me, i wasen't trying to say anything bad earlier, Im sorry if it came out that way. but

Re: No

[darkangeltrip]

What the fuck?! .....I might just be really tired right now, and I know I didn't understand a bunch of that so I'll re-read it in the morning... but what the fuck?! I am not going to act like we are a couple, I'm sorry, but we are broken up. I don't care how much you think we will work out, its not working now, so I'm not going to pretend that it is.

I had more to say, but I am so tired and confused that I forgot.. so I'll be back here in the later morning to see if there is more I can say.

Re: No

[thirdlaw]

I wasn't saying we should act like a couple, just a little less stiff around each other, if its to hard for you to try for our sake mabey this wont work but at least I tried, if being a little nicer to me is so hard than I guess you dont care anymore. you say I trated you so horible and you loved me, I know I was bad but now it looks like things are reversed., just an observation, or a thought dont get mad, thats not how any of this was meant to come out, I just needed an outlet. I'll check back later