I'm not sure about anything anymore. Two months ago I was sure I was going to move to Rhode Island, all part of some silly dream I fed myself to miss her less. One month ago I was sure I was going to move by the beginning of the year and live oh so happily somewhere that wasnt Ohio, but also not near enough to her to see her often. Two weeks ago I ( Read more... )

So...Not much to say. I dont write ever because I dont ever have a word to say any more. Everything I last wrote...its all crap. And everything I'm thinking now doesnt fit on here. Its just random filler in my own head. I'm learning to knit. And I am working a lot. And I'm seeming to lose all my friends I had before this job. It's a girl. She's ( Read more... )

I have caused and experienced some painful times, but none as bad as the ones she lives with. She deals with so much. No matter how badly things went, I still love her. I still want whats best for her ( Read more... )

Bye Man.

I thought I was through crying over this. Over you. But at least these aren't those painful tears. Not the you-fucking-bitch-how-could-you-do-that-to-me tears. They are a little bit softer. A little bit more welcome. And you're right when you say we connected. And it was the happiest I've been in so long. I forgot what it felt like. And if only for ( Read more... )

It's more than just being drained. It's sitting here barely able to breath because I'm fighting back the tears that hard. Two nights in a row. I could read this time and time again, and I think this tightening in my chest would happen every time. It's not just being unable to breath, it's a pain in my heart like something that makes it work has ( Read more... )

Why am I so unsure

Sell the accumulation of better times.

It's amazing how you dont really understand something until you are in the middle of living it. Maybe that's why I read so much poetry, because I can't write about my own experiances, I have poets experiances to narrate my life.

Sometimes I just dont know what my brain is doing.

But when they're out for blood I always give...

Look out at the world, we don’t belong in this place.

I know that I keep pretending like everything is fine, but it’s not. Nothing is. Nothing ever will be it seems. Not if things keep going like this. Not if I keep falling.

I’m a fuck up yet again. I’ve been your little screw up kid all my life, ( Read more... )