kiss, miss, mistake; trois
kiss, miss, mistake; trois
→ Changmin/Yoona
→ 1,844 words
→ he often asks himself why can't he find the person who would love him back. he wonders a lot, if he can really find the one who's destined to be with him. and maybe he just failed to notice that she's just right before his eyes the entire time.
Yoona sighs while making her coffee. She doesn’t know where to laugh or cry. “Just great, you know you’re not supposed to fall in love.”
She sits down on an old cold metal stool and it reminds her vaguely of how she never knew the reason why her mother married her skinny penniless father. She puts her cup down and a few seconds later, long skinny worn out fingers echoes her movements and vaguely, she is reminded too, that sometimes love just does that to people.
Two days after Juhyun is born, her father’s blood dirties the same floor in the bank he used to clean. Yoona’s mother cried every single day after that, and Yoona swore love wouldn’t make her do something as idiotic as that.
But maybe she spoke too soon.
*
Kyujong approaches her just as she step foot outside her house. “Hey, Im Yoona, some fat kid in the neighborhood told me that you’re getting richer by the day.”
“If by richer he means, I can buy coffee then yea, we have a stack at home. But oh wait, it’s only because I stole it so stop kidding around, Kyujong, I still have work to do.” Yoona wishes that he would keep his nose away from where it didn’t belong.
“Why don’t you work again for me, Yoona?” He wears his usual smirk so proudly. Suddenly, Yoona felt the need to vomit.
“You’re still such an ass.” She stomps off, fuming with anger that showed all over her face.
“Wow, come on, Yoona. I know you like it.”
Resorting to violence would only prove her to be the weaker person, so Yoona pretends not to hear the last part. It’s not like it’s true anyway. While walking away, Yoona murmurs to herself. "Thank you for reminding me why I hate you. It makes me feel like I'm better off without you."
She smirks upon realization, "And I am."
*
Changmin hands her a sandwich but he just earns a disgusted face in reply. He slumps down on the sofa next to her. “What’s wrong?”
“What if partially it’s you?”
“Uhm okay. What did I do?” Changmin holds back on eating his sandwich because he feels this could be one of those really serious and important conversations and spitting out food in shock is not appropriate at all.
“You, sir, are wearing a hideous shirt. I swear if you wear that on summer, there will be armpit stains because of sweat.”
“Okay…” He stands up. “Sheesh, it’s not even summer. Would you be less of a mean person if I change into a white shirt?”
“That’s not even the problem. Sit back down.” Yoona drags Changmin’s arm down until they’re in eye level.
“The problem is?”
“What if I tell you that I might have fallen in love with you?”
Changmin waits for the punch line of the joke but there came none so he tries to make his own. “I guess you can’t help but fall into my charms. I should’ve known, Im Yoona.”
“I’m serious.”
“Then I don’t see it as a problem.”
She turns away from Changmin instinctively. Because Yoona hates it when he permits her to love him as easily as that, without even slipping away details if he feels the same way about her. It’s like a one-sided type of love; she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“It’s not a problem if I loved you too, right?” He asks timidly.
“It’s a big mistake.”
*
Changmin takes out a stack of cassette tapes his father had given him. His father had liked listening to old love songs back in the day and perhaps his mother liked it, too, so maybe he has taken the same liking from them. He takes one out of its case and inserts it in his cassette player-slash-radio-slash-cd player.
The intro plays softly and only a few seconds into the Carpenters’ ‘Top of the World,’ the player gives off a crackle and a familiar winding sound. He takes the cassette out and it is reduced to a cartridge and a bunch of jumbled thin black strip of tape. Changmin inserts his pinky in the hole and winds it back in place.
“You can just play the radio or buy a cd version of the same album.”
Yoona presses play on his radio. He doesn’t mind or care, but it gradually hits him how they both seem to be in the verge of breaking. Changmin doesn’t say anything; because he’s afraid he’ll crack piece by piece. He doesn’t want to cry in front of her. That would be the last thing he would want. The DJ introduces the song but his ears miss it by a second and a voice is singing the lyrics that better says what he really wants to say - “Don’t leave me, don’t forget me.”
He grabs hold of her hand, but Changmin isn’t entirely sure of what to do next.
“Okay, sure I agreed to do whatever strikes your fancy, but this is getting old.” Despite having said that, Yoona just lets it stay that way.
Changmin wraps his arms around her waist and quietly she gives in and leans her head on his shoulder. In a split second, it feels terribly wrong and the next completely comforting. And maybe it’s how they are, two different things that one can’t possibly imagine to match nicely.
Pathetically, they both look at somewhere distant. Somewhere - or something beyond the bare walls of his apartment, beyond the thoughts that accumulate and confuse them. The song comes into an abrupt stop and radio gives off a crackle of static. They remain unmoved, unfazed by the turn out of things. The static just goes on without pause and the dullness fills the room.
“Why are you scared?”
Her reply is a mix between a snort and a laugh. “You’re just too good for me,”
“Why is that?”
“Or maybe it’s not about you. Maybe it’s just me and it’s just all in my head b-but… I want to be a better person. I want to be more than this. You deserve someone more than this.” She moves away and looks at him in the eyes fearlessly. He knows he’ll just have to agree to it.
“Then do it. Go away for a while, make your dreams and chase after them but promise me that you’ll go back to me first. Promise me that I’ll be the person you return to.”
The radio crackles with static again and it fills the air between them. Yoona doesn’t answer. And Changmin just pulls her into another hug before a song plays on the radio again.
*
Yoona boards a train to the province her father grew up in. Her aunt only says the nicest things and she welcomes her in her house like her own. Juhyun sends her mails and drawings and Yoona shares stories about how nice the people are and how incredibly beautiful the sea is, in reply. On most days, her aunt is the only one to talk to. They chat a lot about different things, about food, the weather, her mother and her heart aches a bit when it happens so she distracts herself with work in the household and out in the sea.
The sea is big and blue and it’s a tad comforting to know that it stretches to the ocean, so sometimes Yoona dives in and thinks that Changmin isn’t that far away.
Then there isn’t much to it. They both live through busy and difficult days.
In a few years span of time, everything is back to how it should be. Changmin has his head buried between paper works and he’s constantly killing himself over business meetings, talks and presentations. Occasionally, he goes to dinner meetings, only to be reminded of how long it has been since Yoona has gone.
She rides the train back to Seoul. Twisting and scrambling a lot in her seat on her way back home. Yoona knows exactly where she wants to be. Without a doubt, she wants to see him but her heart drumming wildly in her chest doesn’t help ease away the fear of being forgotten or perhaps, replaced. It has been six years after all.
Changmin is by the doorway after a knock. He blinks, unfazed by her presence. Yoona smiles and waves “Hello, I’m not your imagination.”
“Oh, you cut your hair,” He blurts out and without thinking, Changmin leans closer to give Yoona a crushing hug. “I miss you. And for the record, you’re not allowed to leave me again.”
She laughs and it’s the first time he hears it again it’s almost immaculate. “You grew yours. Well, a bit. It suits you.”
“How are you?”
“Good. I know how to cook now.”
“I guess you owe me breakfast, lunch and dinner for a lifetime now.”
“Well, you… you owe me a kiss.”
“We have lots of time for that,” Changmin replies, pulling Yoona into his apartment. Halfway into his room, Yoona grabs his face and pulls him for a kiss and he thinks that yea, six years is a terribly long time so when she pulled apart, Changmin leans down for another one. He doesn’t care about work now or how badly wrinkled his tux is from all the hugging, pulling and kissing.
“Were you practicing when I was gone?” Yoona pushes his shoulder away and frowns at the possibility.
“No no no no no, definitely not, but we can practice now. Like I said we have lots of time for that.”
”I like the sound of that,”
Strange, that even after a long time, it feels like there were no years that became a gap between them. Changmin would be lying if he said that he didn’t see other women, because he did. There were many of them. Some, he could say, have beauties that could even rival Yoona’s. But none of them struck him like she did. He doesn’t want to sound overly dramatic, nor does he want to give a cheap dynamic of love or whatever mutual they share at the moment, but Changmin thinks that he might as well notice every other woman in the world but none would still match up to the effect she has on him.
Yoona doesn’t kiss him again. They have loads of time for that and loads of time to make up for the years they missed. She cooks crab for lunch and he compliments the big change between this and the burnt ham and egg she cooked on their first morning together.
They talk and laugh about things they’ve missed out for a while. When Changmin smiles at her with that uneven smile of his, she recognizes the feeling in her heart and spirit as happiness, and then Yoona knows that this is part of her dream too. She dreams not only of a different life, but a life with someone she knows cares for her just as much as her mother did to her father.
Yoona smiles at him and reaches out to hold his hand. She knows she’s happy now and she knows she will be, just as long as Changmin is there for her.
I send hearts and you kick me. It's okay :( I know I suck at updating anyway.
→ Changmin/Yoona
→ 1,844 words
→ he often asks himself why can't he find the person who would love him back. he wonders a lot, if he can really find the one who's destined to be with him. and maybe he just failed to notice that she's just right before his eyes the entire time.
Yoona sighs while making her coffee. She doesn’t know where to laugh or cry. “Just great, you know you’re not supposed to fall in love.”
She sits down on an old cold metal stool and it reminds her vaguely of how she never knew the reason why her mother married her skinny penniless father. She puts her cup down and a few seconds later, long skinny worn out fingers echoes her movements and vaguely, she is reminded too, that sometimes love just does that to people.
Two days after Juhyun is born, her father’s blood dirties the same floor in the bank he used to clean. Yoona’s mother cried every single day after that, and Yoona swore love wouldn’t make her do something as idiotic as that.
But maybe she spoke too soon.
*
Kyujong approaches her just as she step foot outside her house. “Hey, Im Yoona, some fat kid in the neighborhood told me that you’re getting richer by the day.”
“If by richer he means, I can buy coffee then yea, we have a stack at home. But oh wait, it’s only because I stole it so stop kidding around, Kyujong, I still have work to do.” Yoona wishes that he would keep his nose away from where it didn’t belong.
“Why don’t you work again for me, Yoona?” He wears his usual smirk so proudly. Suddenly, Yoona felt the need to vomit.
“You’re still such an ass.” She stomps off, fuming with anger that showed all over her face.
“Wow, come on, Yoona. I know you like it.”
Resorting to violence would only prove her to be the weaker person, so Yoona pretends not to hear the last part. It’s not like it’s true anyway. While walking away, Yoona murmurs to herself. "Thank you for reminding me why I hate you. It makes me feel like I'm better off without you."
She smirks upon realization, "And I am."
*
Changmin hands her a sandwich but he just earns a disgusted face in reply. He slumps down on the sofa next to her. “What’s wrong?”
“What if partially it’s you?”
“Uhm okay. What did I do?” Changmin holds back on eating his sandwich because he feels this could be one of those really serious and important conversations and spitting out food in shock is not appropriate at all.
“You, sir, are wearing a hideous shirt. I swear if you wear that on summer, there will be armpit stains because of sweat.”
“Okay…” He stands up. “Sheesh, it’s not even summer. Would you be less of a mean person if I change into a white shirt?”
“That’s not even the problem. Sit back down.” Yoona drags Changmin’s arm down until they’re in eye level.
“The problem is?”
“What if I tell you that I might have fallen in love with you?”
Changmin waits for the punch line of the joke but there came none so he tries to make his own. “I guess you can’t help but fall into my charms. I should’ve known, Im Yoona.”
“I’m serious.”
“Then I don’t see it as a problem.”
She turns away from Changmin instinctively. Because Yoona hates it when he permits her to love him as easily as that, without even slipping away details if he feels the same way about her. It’s like a one-sided type of love; she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“It’s not a problem if I loved you too, right?” He asks timidly.
“It’s a big mistake.”
*
Changmin takes out a stack of cassette tapes his father had given him. His father had liked listening to old love songs back in the day and perhaps his mother liked it, too, so maybe he has taken the same liking from them. He takes one out of its case and inserts it in his cassette player-slash-radio-slash-cd player.
The intro plays softly and only a few seconds into the Carpenters’ ‘Top of the World,’ the player gives off a crackle and a familiar winding sound. He takes the cassette out and it is reduced to a cartridge and a bunch of jumbled thin black strip of tape. Changmin inserts his pinky in the hole and winds it back in place.
“You can just play the radio or buy a cd version of the same album.”
Yoona presses play on his radio. He doesn’t mind or care, but it gradually hits him how they both seem to be in the verge of breaking. Changmin doesn’t say anything; because he’s afraid he’ll crack piece by piece. He doesn’t want to cry in front of her. That would be the last thing he would want. The DJ introduces the song but his ears miss it by a second and a voice is singing the lyrics that better says what he really wants to say - “Don’t leave me, don’t forget me.”
He grabs hold of her hand, but Changmin isn’t entirely sure of what to do next.
“Okay, sure I agreed to do whatever strikes your fancy, but this is getting old.” Despite having said that, Yoona just lets it stay that way.
Changmin wraps his arms around her waist and quietly she gives in and leans her head on his shoulder. In a split second, it feels terribly wrong and the next completely comforting. And maybe it’s how they are, two different things that one can’t possibly imagine to match nicely.
Pathetically, they both look at somewhere distant. Somewhere - or something beyond the bare walls of his apartment, beyond the thoughts that accumulate and confuse them. The song comes into an abrupt stop and radio gives off a crackle of static. They remain unmoved, unfazed by the turn out of things. The static just goes on without pause and the dullness fills the room.
“Why are you scared?”
Her reply is a mix between a snort and a laugh. “You’re just too good for me,”
“Why is that?”
“Or maybe it’s not about you. Maybe it’s just me and it’s just all in my head b-but… I want to be a better person. I want to be more than this. You deserve someone more than this.” She moves away and looks at him in the eyes fearlessly. He knows he’ll just have to agree to it.
“Then do it. Go away for a while, make your dreams and chase after them but promise me that you’ll go back to me first. Promise me that I’ll be the person you return to.”
The radio crackles with static again and it fills the air between them. Yoona doesn’t answer. And Changmin just pulls her into another hug before a song plays on the radio again.
*
Yoona boards a train to the province her father grew up in. Her aunt only says the nicest things and she welcomes her in her house like her own. Juhyun sends her mails and drawings and Yoona shares stories about how nice the people are and how incredibly beautiful the sea is, in reply. On most days, her aunt is the only one to talk to. They chat a lot about different things, about food, the weather, her mother and her heart aches a bit when it happens so she distracts herself with work in the household and out in the sea.
The sea is big and blue and it’s a tad comforting to know that it stretches to the ocean, so sometimes Yoona dives in and thinks that Changmin isn’t that far away.
Then there isn’t much to it. They both live through busy and difficult days.
In a few years span of time, everything is back to how it should be. Changmin has his head buried between paper works and he’s constantly killing himself over business meetings, talks and presentations. Occasionally, he goes to dinner meetings, only to be reminded of how long it has been since Yoona has gone.
She rides the train back to Seoul. Twisting and scrambling a lot in her seat on her way back home. Yoona knows exactly where she wants to be. Without a doubt, she wants to see him but her heart drumming wildly in her chest doesn’t help ease away the fear of being forgotten or perhaps, replaced. It has been six years after all.
Changmin is by the doorway after a knock. He blinks, unfazed by her presence. Yoona smiles and waves “Hello, I’m not your imagination.”
“Oh, you cut your hair,” He blurts out and without thinking, Changmin leans closer to give Yoona a crushing hug. “I miss you. And for the record, you’re not allowed to leave me again.”
She laughs and it’s the first time he hears it again it’s almost immaculate. “You grew yours. Well, a bit. It suits you.”
“How are you?”
“Good. I know how to cook now.”
“I guess you owe me breakfast, lunch and dinner for a lifetime now.”
“Well, you… you owe me a kiss.”
“We have lots of time for that,” Changmin replies, pulling Yoona into his apartment. Halfway into his room, Yoona grabs his face and pulls him for a kiss and he thinks that yea, six years is a terribly long time so when she pulled apart, Changmin leans down for another one. He doesn’t care about work now or how badly wrinkled his tux is from all the hugging, pulling and kissing.
“Were you practicing when I was gone?” Yoona pushes his shoulder away and frowns at the possibility.
“No no no no no, definitely not, but we can practice now. Like I said we have lots of time for that.”
”I like the sound of that,”
Strange, that even after a long time, it feels like there were no years that became a gap between them. Changmin would be lying if he said that he didn’t see other women, because he did. There were many of them. Some, he could say, have beauties that could even rival Yoona’s. But none of them struck him like she did. He doesn’t want to sound overly dramatic, nor does he want to give a cheap dynamic of love or whatever mutual they share at the moment, but Changmin thinks that he might as well notice every other woman in the world but none would still match up to the effect she has on him.
Yoona doesn’t kiss him again. They have loads of time for that and loads of time to make up for the years they missed. She cooks crab for lunch and he compliments the big change between this and the burnt ham and egg she cooked on their first morning together.
They talk and laugh about things they’ve missed out for a while. When Changmin smiles at her with that uneven smile of his, she recognizes the feeling in her heart and spirit as happiness, and then Yoona knows that this is part of her dream too. She dreams not only of a different life, but a life with someone she knows cares for her just as much as her mother did to her father.
Yoona smiles at him and reaches out to hold his hand. She knows she’s happy now and she knows she will be, just as long as Changmin is there for her.
I send hearts and you kick me. It's okay :( I know I suck at updating anyway.