ever since 4:30 pm yesterday i have been genuinely happy.
the few important people in my life know exactly how to make me smile
&i thank you all so much for that.

there you were like you always were ( Read more... )

it is 4:53
i have not slept at all except for a slight nap from about 6am to 10am in a pool of sweat spooning with emily,
it is christmas and in exactly 7 minutes i can go wake up the rest of my family,
&&i can honestly say i am so excited.

approxiamately a week ago i was convinced everything i had found during the year that had made me completely happy in the simplest sense was falling apart ( Read more... )

and it is funny how something that never was can be missed so much,
i sit on the edge of my bed feeling something strange,
people ask what's wrong just out of common courtesy,
and all i can do is wiggle my toes and giggle a little
"yesterday my 'imaginary boyfriend' died,
i stabbed him to death"

i just cried over sal calandra for the first time in months, and hopefully the last time ever. It wasn't a sad cry, or even a determined cry. It was just a "gee, isn't it funny how the world works" sort of cry. A "hey we never happened but the world kept spinning" sort of cry. It is funny though, the fact that someone i spent 2 years which is ( Read more... )

he is on his way over,
for the first time ever to just see me,
this is of epic porportions comparable to the end of slavery,
or the signing of the constitution,
or some major even like that.
although the only lives being affected in the least are of 2 people.
me and him. us.
and i can't say i'm so nervous that my heart is in my throat
because it's ( Read more... )

we are a mess.
we are pure dysfunction. we mean so much to eachother and show it simply by sitting next to eachother in cheesy movies starring usher. i wouldn't call that PDA ( Read more... )

this is our time to shine,
this is our time to make changes and be innovative,
but what are we doing with our lives?
sitting around taking myspace pictures.
there have been generations before us that have done things, changed things, taken the world by surprise,
but all we are is a generation that spends all their time straightening naturally ( Read more... )

and now i feel like i finally know what friendship is in the strongest sense ( Read more... )