(no subject)
The Fair idea fell thru. ::hangs head:: And i'd love to know y ppl think me and tiff dont get along. We dont even talk! i dont think we've said more than "hey/bye" to eachother. Does she not like me or sumn? =o\ pleh. i have no problem with the chica. err, 'scept she's got vin by the balls apparently. but wtvr.
I wanted to see hobbles =o( ::sings:: Rather wasteeeee some timeeee with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ::voice cracks:: *ahem* =oD he wanted to go to silver lake so i picked him up sooner than he thought and we went there. its err...a bit creepy at first. i never ewnt to a park at nite b4. but eh. the scary/creepeh-ness died quickly. i think it had sumn to do with walking into a wall of spider webs..definitly had nthing to do with him being there ::ponders:: ::shakes head:: definitly not. Well we walked a ways. he talked a bit. i jsut listend. he called over sum duckies and they came and went. I noticed all the ducks were swimming/flying in two's. ::shrug:: we sat on a bench for a while. he talked. sometimes i prefer to not have anything to think about or say. i'd rather just listen. cuz i know there are times when i dont want someone else's input. i just want to be heard. and there really wasnt anything for me to say, really. i understood even b4 he told me anything. i knew the sitch for a while b4 it was even brought up. b4 he "spilled" so to say. ::smile:: why do u think i never asked about it? i mean, john yells at me all the time to ask whats going on. and i must admit it drives me a bit up the wall to not know how to answer the ever looming question of "so...are u two goin out?" cuz...we;re not. but uh, its not like we're jsut friends either. and the friends with benefits thing isnt my thing and it would hurt to even think that. so thats out...um..hopefully. so yeah. i thought about asking wtf is going on. but then again i'd rather it stay like this. so eh, no worries. let shit happen as it wants to. i'm done grabbing away at things too quickly. it got me nowhere in the past. look at me and lauren for fucks sake. how much did me n her fight over getting together in the beginning. how much did i try to make her see i wouldnt hurt her. how much did she refuse. in the end i didnt hurt her anyway...but eh. fuckit. thats over n done with now. point is i'm not going to try proving myself to anyone. or prove that this just might prove them wrong...but in that good way. not my place to. lately i've been letting time take over with a lot. not jsut with him. but with things at home. with lauren. with friends and with myself. u cant control what goes on. if sumns supposed to happen then by god it will. trying to quicken it does nothing but make it all short-lived. [[So lauren, stop pushing shit. let things be as they are for now. its better this way.]]
PLEH! i'm rambling about absolutly nothing!!!! forgive me i tend to do such things ::hangs head::
i wish i didnt have to be home when i had to be. i wanted to stay there a bit longer. if u look at the moon long enuff at a certain angle it begins to blur and haze and it looks like beams of light begin to slowly come out of it, wavering ever so slightly b/c ur eyes twitch in staring at such an odd angle. and there was one star to the right of it. keeping it company =o) and there was a slight breeze that started to get a lil stronger at one point. got chills. but it was all good. i was laying down on my back with my head on his thigh lookin into the tree behind the bench we were sitting on. there were a few stars peeking thru the breaks in the leaves. i thought it was beautiful.in the shadows the leaves against the sky looked as if its cut out - opening into a completely unknown place. the sky wasnt all that dark. it had a whitish haze to it. so it looked all the more like a whole in the sky. a little behind me there was this one star that shined a little bit brighter than the few otehrs that were around. i wonder who else was looking at it at that exact time. do people even loko at the stars anymore? to just admire the fact that its simply a burning ball of gas...but so incredibly beautiful in all its simplicity. or just watch the moon rising from behind a tree-lines horizon. watching it move slowly across the sky. do we ever stop to think that we're moving as well? do we take for granted this small yet important fact. we move in our stillness. stand still all day and u will get a 360 degree view of a universe we'll never truely comprehend. makes me feel small. i don't mind feeling small. i'm part of something too great to understand. and i'm fine with that. i can stay still and enjoy it while it lasts...and yet...still be part of some greater chaos that looms all around me. ::blush:: i'll stop now...
theme of the nite was fear and singing!!!! =o) :;sigh:: he was talking and singing....im mean no! he wasnt singing! =oX ::smile:: i wanted to sit in his lap and cling to him. get all snuggified right there in the park. ::lowers eyes:: i dont think he's ready for my uber-affectionary tendancies just yet ::lil smile:: its a mighty sweet thought tho... mighty sweet.
i started playing with leaves and flowers and branches and shit. so now with all that + the spider webs ::scratches like mad:: IM ALL ITCHY!!!! ::whine::scratch::falls over::scratch:: make it stoppppppppppp !
definitly need a shower. my hair is so filthy right now too. >_<
i think i'm done for the nite. maybe i'll finish lestat...i'm almost done! im so excited! ::wiggle:: i'm up to the part about Louis and Claudia!!!!!! ::bites lip in anticipation!::
I wanted to see hobbles =o( ::sings:: Rather wasteeeee some timeeee with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ::voice cracks:: *ahem* =oD he wanted to go to silver lake so i picked him up sooner than he thought and we went there. its err...a bit creepy at first. i never ewnt to a park at nite b4. but eh. the scary/creepeh-ness died quickly. i think it had sumn to do with walking into a wall of spider webs..definitly had nthing to do with him being there ::ponders:: ::shakes head:: definitly not. Well we walked a ways. he talked a bit. i jsut listend. he called over sum duckies and they came and went. I noticed all the ducks were swimming/flying in two's. ::shrug:: we sat on a bench for a while. he talked. sometimes i prefer to not have anything to think about or say. i'd rather just listen. cuz i know there are times when i dont want someone else's input. i just want to be heard. and there really wasnt anything for me to say, really. i understood even b4 he told me anything. i knew the sitch for a while b4 it was even brought up. b4 he "spilled" so to say. ::smile:: why do u think i never asked about it? i mean, john yells at me all the time to ask whats going on. and i must admit it drives me a bit up the wall to not know how to answer the ever looming question of "so...are u two goin out?" cuz...we;re not. but uh, its not like we're jsut friends either. and the friends with benefits thing isnt my thing and it would hurt to even think that. so thats out...um..hopefully. so yeah. i thought about asking wtf is going on. but then again i'd rather it stay like this. so eh, no worries. let shit happen as it wants to. i'm done grabbing away at things too quickly. it got me nowhere in the past. look at me and lauren for fucks sake. how much did me n her fight over getting together in the beginning. how much did i try to make her see i wouldnt hurt her. how much did she refuse. in the end i didnt hurt her anyway...but eh. fuckit. thats over n done with now. point is i'm not going to try proving myself to anyone. or prove that this just might prove them wrong...but in that good way. not my place to. lately i've been letting time take over with a lot. not jsut with him. but with things at home. with lauren. with friends and with myself. u cant control what goes on. if sumns supposed to happen then by god it will. trying to quicken it does nothing but make it all short-lived. [[So lauren, stop pushing shit. let things be as they are for now. its better this way.]]
PLEH! i'm rambling about absolutly nothing!!!! forgive me i tend to do such things ::hangs head::
i wish i didnt have to be home when i had to be. i wanted to stay there a bit longer. if u look at the moon long enuff at a certain angle it begins to blur and haze and it looks like beams of light begin to slowly come out of it, wavering ever so slightly b/c ur eyes twitch in staring at such an odd angle. and there was one star to the right of it. keeping it company =o) and there was a slight breeze that started to get a lil stronger at one point. got chills. but it was all good. i was laying down on my back with my head on his thigh lookin into the tree behind the bench we were sitting on. there were a few stars peeking thru the breaks in the leaves. i thought it was beautiful.in the shadows the leaves against the sky looked as if its cut out - opening into a completely unknown place. the sky wasnt all that dark. it had a whitish haze to it. so it looked all the more like a whole in the sky. a little behind me there was this one star that shined a little bit brighter than the few otehrs that were around. i wonder who else was looking at it at that exact time. do people even loko at the stars anymore? to just admire the fact that its simply a burning ball of gas...but so incredibly beautiful in all its simplicity. or just watch the moon rising from behind a tree-lines horizon. watching it move slowly across the sky. do we ever stop to think that we're moving as well? do we take for granted this small yet important fact. we move in our stillness. stand still all day and u will get a 360 degree view of a universe we'll never truely comprehend. makes me feel small. i don't mind feeling small. i'm part of something too great to understand. and i'm fine with that. i can stay still and enjoy it while it lasts...and yet...still be part of some greater chaos that looms all around me. ::blush:: i'll stop now...
theme of the nite was fear and singing!!!! =o) :;sigh:: he was talking and singing....im mean no! he wasnt singing! =oX ::smile:: i wanted to sit in his lap and cling to him. get all snuggified right there in the park. ::lowers eyes:: i dont think he's ready for my uber-affectionary tendancies just yet ::lil smile:: its a mighty sweet thought tho... mighty sweet.
i started playing with leaves and flowers and branches and shit. so now with all that + the spider webs ::scratches like mad:: IM ALL ITCHY!!!! ::whine::scratch::falls over::scratch:: make it stoppppppppppp !
definitly need a shower. my hair is so filthy right now too. >_<
i think i'm done for the nite. maybe i'll finish lestat...i'm almost done! im so excited! ::wiggle:: i'm up to the part about Louis and Claudia!!!!!! ::bites lip in anticipation!::