Ambivalent

[thistles]

Ah Livejournal, where else can I unburden my soul in relative anonymity?

Tomorrow is my birthday. 43. Why do I still feel as lost about my life as I did at 23? Does that ever end?

I am starting a business. Sorta.

The thing is, I am really conflcted about the business. I am really conflicted about working a job.

On the one hand, my mind needs

Comments

[trope]

Happy birthday, sweetie.

[phoenixprime]

Happy birthday!

And yes, all working moms feel scattered. Even when they are making money.

I feel like I work two shifts - go to work, then come home and go to the 2nd job. I am *so* grateful for the start of high school and the knowledge that it's only 4 more years...

...and at the same time, my heart goes "but there are only four more years left!"

It's not an easy balancing act.

[tanyalita]

I go through this from time to time. It is hard. I'm not sure feeling lost about your life ever ends completely for some of us.

[caravanserai]

I feel like this every day. There are a lot of SAHMs in my community. Kids at school all day, but they don't 'work'. I don't begrudge them time at the gym and lunch at Panera... ok, yes I do!

What has surprised me is that I thought it would be OK now that the kids are in school, but it's MUCH worse than when they are small. I feel they need me more, but I'm less available. I'm lucky to work part-time, but it's still a more crazy life than I would choose, and my house looks like crap ALL THE TIME.