(no subject)
Ok, I'm going to bold the ones that do here...
You Might Be A Hockey Nut If......You find your self saying "don't worry, life too short" October will be here before you know it....
...You find stitches and broken noses very attractive...
...if "Holy Mother of Gretzky" is one of your most common phrases... I don't do this, but something similar with my minor league guys "I'm gonna go Bothie on him!"
...if you speak fluent Canadian, even though you've never been within 1000 miles of the border...
...If you buy Canada Dry ginger ale just because it says Canada on the label...
...If you know who Tretiak is...
...if your excuse for falling asleep at lunch has been "the game went into double overtime" more than twice... well ok not exactly. but it is my excuse for being sleepy.
...if you only watch the hockey parts in Happy Gilmore...
...if you've ever stopped on a "Cooking with Helga" television show because you heard the word "icing..."
...if every time you see a first-grader with a missing front tooth, Theo Fleury immediately comes to mind...
...you no longer think of Darcy as a girl's name...
...if you waste Oreos to play Oreo hockey. It is harder with m&ms...
...if you hear "Welcome To The Jungle" every time a song comes on, no matter what it is... it just makes me think of the first face-off
...if you think there are 3 periods in basketball... i really know better, but i often forget that and the fact that they're QUARTERS in football cause there's four of them.
...if you send your kid to the penalty box instead of the corner when he/she gets in trouble... if i had kids, i would
...if you can incorporate "Holy Mother of Gretzky" and "He shoots, he scores" into any conversation...
...if your first car was a zamboni...
...if you show up for games 3 hours early... if they opened the GEC that early, i'd be there.
...if every time you play with a slinky or use Master Card, you think of Dominik Hasek
...If you're imaginary friend was (or is) Wayne Gretzky...
...If you spell "Hell": H-E-double hockey sticks... it makes me giggle cause its so juvenile.
...If you cried when Wayne Gretzky retired...
...you have June, July, August, September, and October counted down on ALL your calendars... not literally, but i think about it every day, how the months are slowly creeping by.
...wear out your search engines looking for hockey websites...
...if you are listening to the radio and a song that is played at the hockey games comes on, you crank it up and go absolutely nuts... yeah and um my bro made a cd that i love and um have to add to it.
...if you see a bumper sticker that says "Jesus Saves" and immediately think, "Satan picks up the rebound, he shoots and scores!!!!"... actually i think "gretzky scores. the workers slave the rich get moreeeeeeee" which has little to do with hockey other than the gretzky part.
...If all of your clothes are named after teams and not brand names (including your underwear)...
...if you think crooked noses and missing teeth are SEXY... but only a little. and only if the player has got a good personality. as if i know them. hah.
...if you buy season tickets when you can't afford them... but htey were half off, dude!
...if you stand up at the games and hope the puck hits you...
no, but i did have a dream that i got hit by a puck and some snooty girl tried to take the puck from me. the ref made her give it back to me, and then gave me another puck.
...If every time you hear any song on the radio with a driving beat, you think it'll make a great song in warm ups next season...
...If you name the balls on the pool table after players, by the number on the ball... well not really. but very similar. my phone number is hamhuis/hall-york/arkhipov
...If you give your six month old niece a hockey puck to use as a teething ring...
...If you can't hear Rob Zombie, Kiss, or Van Halen, without thinking of warm-ups... ummm you left out AC/DC
...If you can name every song in the warm-ups, and know what drill goes on for that song... there's one drill where leggy is the puck passer. he passes it to all of his teammates and they shoot it. they're all in a line, along the blue line. meanwhile, mckenzie is slapping tootoo on the back of the knees with his stick and pushing him into the glass.
...If you refer to every player on the roster by their nickname, and know every pre game ritual...
...You start shortening your friends name, or ending them in "y" like the hockey players do with theirs...
...You name your dog Kolzig... not exactly, but i wouldn't NOT name my dog vokey or marty or marek h ahah
...When someone tells you to look on the top shelf and you immediately look for a hockey goal somewhere...
...You are referred to as "Hockey Mary" at work...
...You use a hockey puck as a paperweight...
...You keep a hockey stick in your car at all times, just in case a game should HAPPEN to break out...
...You consider body checking obnoxious customers at work when they ask a stupid question...
...You know the names of every championship cup for every league...
...You have a subscription to the Hockey News...
...You know the year, team, number one draft choice, number picked, and round that your favorite player went in for the NHL draft...
...You can name every team your favorite player played for, and the years, and the number he wore...
...You get in arguments online over whether or not it was a goal...
...You go to opposing teams message forums just to stir the waters... i just visit. and laugh. no commenting though.
...You paint your bedroom to match the colors worn by your favorite team... I'm not painting, but decorating my bedroom to match
...For the ladies: You paint your fingernails in the colors of your favorite team.
You have a necklace and earrings with stars on it (I.E. three stars of the game) that you must wear for EVERY game your team plays... well not exactly. but i did wear game eye makeup. blue and gold eyeshadow. ahahaha
....You have certain things you MUST wear for each game, or else the team will lose... i hope my walks jersey brings as much luck as my hoodie
...You have pre-game rituals that you have to follow, much like the players... sorta. i can't NOT see warmups. i can't get there right before faceoff. i can't NOT see crispy and pete's pre-game clip.
...You take a pre-game nap... especially if they're on school nights!
...You load up on pasta and various other carbs to load up on energy for spectating, heckling the opposing goalie, booing the refs, etc... goes along with the nap... you have to be amped for games.
...You have your own PowerAde water bottle in the stands with beverage of choice in it. And when you squirt some of said beverage in your mouth, you feel compelled to spit it back out...
...You sleep with a hockey stick...
...You keep a puck under your pillow...
...You no longer flinch at the pucks flying at the glass...
...When someone says that they dropped their gloves, you immediately ask "Who won the fight?"... hahaha
...You thought "Face/Off" was a movie about hockey...
...You know every video store within 50 miles that carries "Slap Shot"...
...You have a party for out of town games, to listen to the radio and cheer on your team... but they're not parties if its only me there. hahah
...You aren't ashamed to admit that you've seen all the Mighty Ducks movies, and can recite key parts...
...You know which referees are biased against your team... no MC's. anyone with a name starting with that is bad. or so my bro says. but it seems true
...if your screen name has something to do with hockey, pucks, sticks, ice, roughness or kickin' A$$...
...if your family & friends have signs posted on their doors that say "no hockey talk allowed" whenever you come over to visit... I wouldn't put it past some of them
...when you have one room in your house with nothing but hockey stuff on the walls...
...if you have a tattoo of some puck and sticks, with your team name over it...
...You have tapes of hockey games to watch on off season... yes and it makes me sad
...you have a puck here puck there puck everywhere in house...
...if every Halloween you dress up as a one of the Hansen Brothers... hey good idea!
...if you are planning road trips for away games and the schedule isn't out yet...
You Might Be A Hockey Nut If......You find your self saying "don't worry, life too short" October will be here before you know it....
...You find stitches and broken noses very attractive...
...if "Holy Mother of Gretzky" is one of your most common phrases... I don't do this, but something similar with my minor league guys "I'm gonna go Bothie on him!"
...if you speak fluent Canadian, even though you've never been within 1000 miles of the border...
...If you buy Canada Dry ginger ale just because it says Canada on the label...
...If you know who Tretiak is...
...if your excuse for falling asleep at lunch has been "the game went into double overtime" more than twice... well ok not exactly. but it is my excuse for being sleepy.
...if you only watch the hockey parts in Happy Gilmore...
...if you've ever stopped on a "Cooking with Helga" television show because you heard the word "icing..."
...if every time you see a first-grader with a missing front tooth, Theo Fleury immediately comes to mind...
...you no longer think of Darcy as a girl's name...
...if you waste Oreos to play Oreo hockey. It is harder with m&ms...
...if you hear "Welcome To The Jungle" every time a song comes on, no matter what it is... it just makes me think of the first face-off
...if you think there are 3 periods in basketball... i really know better, but i often forget that and the fact that they're QUARTERS in football cause there's four of them.
...if you send your kid to the penalty box instead of the corner when he/she gets in trouble... if i had kids, i would
...if you can incorporate "Holy Mother of Gretzky" and "He shoots, he scores" into any conversation...
...if your first car was a zamboni...
...if you show up for games 3 hours early... if they opened the GEC that early, i'd be there.
...if every time you play with a slinky or use Master Card, you think of Dominik Hasek
...If you're imaginary friend was (or is) Wayne Gretzky...
...If you spell "Hell": H-E-double hockey sticks... it makes me giggle cause its so juvenile.
...If you cried when Wayne Gretzky retired...
...you have June, July, August, September, and October counted down on ALL your calendars... not literally, but i think about it every day, how the months are slowly creeping by.
...wear out your search engines looking for hockey websites...
...if you are listening to the radio and a song that is played at the hockey games comes on, you crank it up and go absolutely nuts... yeah and um my bro made a cd that i love and um have to add to it.
...if you see a bumper sticker that says "Jesus Saves" and immediately think, "Satan picks up the rebound, he shoots and scores!!!!"... actually i think "gretzky scores. the workers slave the rich get moreeeeeeee" which has little to do with hockey other than the gretzky part.
...If all of your clothes are named after teams and not brand names (including your underwear)...
...if you think crooked noses and missing teeth are SEXY... but only a little. and only if the player has got a good personality. as if i know them. hah.
...if you buy season tickets when you can't afford them... but htey were half off, dude!
...if you stand up at the games and hope the puck hits you...
no, but i did have a dream that i got hit by a puck and some snooty girl tried to take the puck from me. the ref made her give it back to me, and then gave me another puck.
...If every time you hear any song on the radio with a driving beat, you think it'll make a great song in warm ups next season...
...If you name the balls on the pool table after players, by the number on the ball... well not really. but very similar. my phone number is hamhuis/hall-york/arkhipov
...If you give your six month old niece a hockey puck to use as a teething ring...
...If you can't hear Rob Zombie, Kiss, or Van Halen, without thinking of warm-ups... ummm you left out AC/DC
...If you can name every song in the warm-ups, and know what drill goes on for that song... there's one drill where leggy is the puck passer. he passes it to all of his teammates and they shoot it. they're all in a line, along the blue line. meanwhile, mckenzie is slapping tootoo on the back of the knees with his stick and pushing him into the glass.
...If you refer to every player on the roster by their nickname, and know every pre game ritual...
...You start shortening your friends name, or ending them in "y" like the hockey players do with theirs...
...You name your dog Kolzig... not exactly, but i wouldn't NOT name my dog vokey or marty or marek h ahah
...When someone tells you to look on the top shelf and you immediately look for a hockey goal somewhere...
...You are referred to as "Hockey Mary" at work...
...You use a hockey puck as a paperweight...
...You keep a hockey stick in your car at all times, just in case a game should HAPPEN to break out...
...You consider body checking obnoxious customers at work when they ask a stupid question...
...You know the names of every championship cup for every league...
...You have a subscription to the Hockey News...
...You know the year, team, number one draft choice, number picked, and round that your favorite player went in for the NHL draft...
...You can name every team your favorite player played for, and the years, and the number he wore...
...You get in arguments online over whether or not it was a goal...
...You go to opposing teams message forums just to stir the waters... i just visit. and laugh. no commenting though.
...You paint your bedroom to match the colors worn by your favorite team... I'm not painting, but decorating my bedroom to match
...For the ladies: You paint your fingernails in the colors of your favorite team.
You have a necklace and earrings with stars on it (I.E. three stars of the game) that you must wear for EVERY game your team plays... well not exactly. but i did wear game eye makeup. blue and gold eyeshadow. ahahaha
....You have certain things you MUST wear for each game, or else the team will lose... i hope my walks jersey brings as much luck as my hoodie
...You have pre-game rituals that you have to follow, much like the players... sorta. i can't NOT see warmups. i can't get there right before faceoff. i can't NOT see crispy and pete's pre-game clip.
...You take a pre-game nap... especially if they're on school nights!
...You load up on pasta and various other carbs to load up on energy for spectating, heckling the opposing goalie, booing the refs, etc... goes along with the nap... you have to be amped for games.
...You have your own PowerAde water bottle in the stands with beverage of choice in it. And when you squirt some of said beverage in your mouth, you feel compelled to spit it back out...
...You sleep with a hockey stick...
...You keep a puck under your pillow...
...You no longer flinch at the pucks flying at the glass...
...When someone says that they dropped their gloves, you immediately ask "Who won the fight?"... hahaha
...You thought "Face/Off" was a movie about hockey...
...You know every video store within 50 miles that carries "Slap Shot"...
...You have a party for out of town games, to listen to the radio and cheer on your team... but they're not parties if its only me there. hahah
...You aren't ashamed to admit that you've seen all the Mighty Ducks movies, and can recite key parts...
...You know which referees are biased against your team... no MC's. anyone with a name starting with that is bad. or so my bro says. but it seems true
...if your screen name has something to do with hockey, pucks, sticks, ice, roughness or kickin' A$$...
...if your family & friends have signs posted on their doors that say "no hockey talk allowed" whenever you come over to visit... I wouldn't put it past some of them
...when you have one room in your house with nothing but hockey stuff on the walls...
...if you have a tattoo of some puck and sticks, with your team name over it...
...You have tapes of hockey games to watch on off season... yes and it makes me sad
...you have a puck here puck there puck everywhere in house...
...if every Halloween you dress up as a one of the Hansen Brothers... hey good idea!
...if you are planning road trips for away games and the schedule isn't out yet...