All day yesterday i was a half beat off, but last night was brutal. I would doze off and  then wake up...feeling disoriented and fighting the feeling of dropping into oblivion. At some point, for no know reason, the cat jumped awakeand made a mad scramble across me, raking a huge bloody scratch on my left hand. Throbbing screaming pain and blood. ( Read more... )

I just finished season 1 of Forever. There may not be a Season 2. Which is a shame. Not that the writing is brilliant, it isn't; or the the acting is great, it's not; nor is the premise a new one. But the story is interesting, some people in it, like Judd Hirsch and Burn Gorman are good to see and have good roles. The music choices are good as well ( Read more... )

Sometimes just being a person who reads and likes learning stuff can make my head hurt. So. At work we hit a slow period and I have  been wondering about the high rate of suicide in Alaska. Why? Because I can understand that people get bored, and the are long periods of darkness/weather that keep people both cooped up together and isolated from ( Read more... )

I have a daughter and a son. Twins. Born 24 years ago. They found me.  That is a heart attack rolled into a panic with a large side of anxiety. It was hard to breath. Thdn it was hard to think, or sleep, or eat. Then I had time to do all of that. And to femember. Remember. Remember the deep grief, remember the agony, remember the forever lingering ( Read more... )

I love the silver light of the sun here in the northwest, shining through rain clouds. It is like no other sunlight I have ever seen. Sometimes I wonder if I suddenly awoke some where, could I tell where and when I was by the quality of the light, the color of the sky, the shape and color of the earth and plants? Certainly some places I have been ( Read more... )

Iam here again. So many years later, and virtually everyone I knew here is gone. So maybe I can journal without the constant thought of how others will perceive it. There are many things I want to say, and I used to have around me the kind of friends I could say these things to, and have discusions with, on a real and open level. I still have those ( Read more... )

It's been months. Let's see...I got a treadmill, and the rubber band broke on the second day. My niece returned to live with me, and she and her best friend are still living with me, so my living room looks like a dorm room. I am now going to the gym..to walk and crunch and stuff. Let's hope this works. other wise I work, I play, I sleep, I repeat ( Read more... )

Celibrate the life of a true hero. He didn't make records or star in movies ( Read more... )

I went back to Texas, and then drove to Arkansas last weekend. It was my mother's 80th birthday and she did not know any of us were coming. All my sibs, their kids and various cousins and old firends all showed up. It was an adventure from the moment I got on the plane. It confuses them when you swap seats.They have to re-count ( Read more... )

I like dandelions and buttercups, thistles and moss. Can I just kill the grass and call it a meadow? Ah well, I keep the thistles and the neighbors stop giving me the evil eye. Sowing and mowing. I tackled the back pasture during the week and whacked it to within an inch ( Read more... )